In need of advice...

by mobumpkin 16 Replies latest jw friends

  • mobumpkin
    mobumpkin

    Hi i am new here thank you for letting me join. I first of all want to say I am not here to bash the religion. There are good people in the congregation but also bad ones. I was born and raised in the religion until the age of 32 when I was disfellowshipped not by choice but because the group of elders felt I i was not sorry enough in my heart. My family is divided some are Witnesses some are not. My mother who is elderly and my fleshly sister are however still active in the congregation. My father is not a Witness pretty much let my mother raise us in the religion. To make a long story short my sister who is still active hates me. I have never seen such hate from someone who is supposed to love Jehovah. She has made it her mission in life to make me pay and tear my whole family apart. Also treating my elderly parents poorly. Don't you think this is something the elders need to be aware of? I mean I was thrown out so why all the hatred. You go acting like a decent god fearing person but are a totally different person away from the congregation. Please someone give advice. I just want peace and to be left alone.

  • AudeSapere
    AudeSapere

    I don't have advice for you... Just a warm Welcome to JWN.

    You will find that most of us here can completely relate to your family situation.

    -Aude.

  • quellycatface
    quellycatface

    Welcome. You are among friends here.

    I'm not sure what to suggest regarding your sister.She sounds very bitter. She may even be envious of your freedom. I don't think I would even raise it with the elders as a group, it compounds her behaviour.Is there an elder you could talk to "off the record", as it were?

    You will find great advice in this forum.

    I guarantee you will have loads more replies later, just relax for now.

    Kind regards, Qcf x

  • The Searcher
    The Searcher

    Welcome to a website where you will get the truth about the truth! (TTATT)

    As for your sister, she must be dealt with sooner rather than later, and in order to do so, you will need evidence.

    Therefore, invest in a decent voice-recorder and gather the proof you need to show how vitriolic, un-Christian and "brazen" she is. You can submit the material you gather to the Body of Elders with the comment that she is bringing reproach upon the name of Jehovah and her congregation, and that you are "witnessing" to other people about this hypocrite hiding behind her sanctimonious faith!

    That might get the Elders to sort her her out - if not, you can always put the recording on YouTube and tell her to go and listen to herself!

  • Wizard of Oz
    Wizard of Oz

    Welcome mobumpkin

    @ TS..... if not, you can always put the recording on YouTube and tell her to go and listen to herself! LOL

    Love'n'thortz WOZ

  • Laika
    Laika

    According to Watchtower rules your sister is only allowed to talk to you about necessary family business and has no right to intefere in your relationship with your father as he is not a JW and they have no control over him. Since she is clearly going beyond this then a chat with a good elder, preferably one you used to be friends with, could work.

    As Searcher said gathering evidence might help, however I disagree with Searcher that you should tell people you're witnessing about her hypocrisy. The way to get elders on your side is by appealing to them as 'kind people who just want to help' as this is how they fancy themselves, and not by threats against the beloved organisation/congregation.

  • Fernando
    Fernando

    Welcome mobumpkin!

    Sorry to hear about your sister.

    Religion often does bring out the very worst in some people, whilst by design also preventing them from seeing what they are or have become.

    Religion breeds hypocrisy (Matt 23).

    The liberating and healing gospel message on the other hand cultivates a more integrated, whole, humble, liberal and (mentally) healthy person.

    In my experience at least.

  • Fernando
    Fernando

    BTW in (Freudian and Jungian) Psychology there is a concept whereby we humans sometimes project the bad in ourselves onto others and then punish them for it.

    Presumably this happens when we have strong unresolved fear, shame or guilt.

    These feelings are often caused or used by religion (reframing our mistakes) as methods of control.

    Who knows...?

    Just putting it out there...

  • snowbird
    snowbird

    Tell your sister in no uncertain terms to back off.

    Do not argue, beg, or plead.

    Simply say, enough already, I'm not taking any more of your mess, and if we have to thrash this out in a court of law, I'm all for it.

    I had to do that to two of my self-righteous JW sisters, and it produced instant results.

    My thoughts will be with you.

    Love and blessings.

    Sylvia

    Edited to add: Welcome and hope you stay with us for a while.

  • James Jackson
    James Jackson

    "Actions speak louder than Words".

    Be there for your parents and be respectful toward your sister. Be the better person!

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