I'm heading down a path I think alot of you have gone down... and I'm certainly not looking for any sympathy here. I've read some experiences here and at other sites that shows me that ALOT of folks have gone through ALOT worse than I am...
Basically, a year ago I left Brooklyn Bethel after a five year stint. Already sick of structured man-worship, I struggled for while to pretend, but my heart wasn't in it. Reading Ray Franz books recently has been such a refreshing breath of freedom!
Knowing how horrible it would (will) be when I leave (I've already stopped going to meetings, but I've just moved so no one knows it yet), I had to make some pre-emptive moves (hey, if they're going to cut off everyone in my life, the least I can do is prepare for it!).
I was working for my parents (I'm 27 and single). Obviously, that was going to disappear when I left, so I made up a reason to quit and take a lower-paying job.
I was sharing an apartment with a witness friend. Doh! I once again made up a dumb reason that I wanted to part ways. I now have my own apartment (along with that lower-paying job...just great!).
And to start this new job (which I really like!) and get my own place, I just moved last week. I haven't bothered even finding out where the nearest kingdom hall is since I'm never going back.
But here's the tough part. Now I gotta suck it up and tell everyone that I'm out.
As far as the org is concerned, I don't know if they'll decide to DF me or not and I really don't care or even plan on finding out.
Right now though, I'm just avoiding everyone and everything, but that can't last forever. Eventually, I've gotta just come right out with it...and with my parents, at least, I can gaurantee it'll be ugly!
I know I sound pretty chicken to someone who's never been here, but I'm betting some of you can relate.
Sorry I haven't posted before. I just found the site a few weeks ago, and I've just been lurking. I'm gonna try and not be such a stranger since I think I'm gonna need the support right now (not to mention the friends :-)