woah boy UBM101,
I hear you loudly. Personally I think a mixture of not coming on too strong, planting seds of doubt without referring tothe JW etc. But also asking questions. The questions generally lead theminto defense mode which is not where you want them to be for long. When in defense mode they might want to go back to "learn more" because they feel inadequate to answer ( in reality unanswerable) questions. It is a balancing act that only you can know the points which to stop or ask.
Try to pick singular subject questions and not go off in other areas ( so tempting) encourage him to research all the WT publications, give him links to do so if he will read them there. Try to lead him eventually to non agressive or what he would percieve as hostile sites. Going to anything but jw.org will be along time coming, if ever.
Also my strategy is too make sure he is basically love bombedathome. Reinforcee every thing he has done well. Remind him of accomplishments. Encourage every action of goodwill towards others, such as any volunteering ( maybe doing so together). Plan your future together ( my husband still has no real concept ofhow to do this) . Write down dreams and goals.
I am going through this now, only he felt " called back by the big j " during the WT campaign to recover "lost sheep" a few years back that is still going on.
Physically out but still mentally in is a very dangerous emotional place for him to be. The amount of time this can take is years, so be prepared for years and years of this kind of frustration.
I agreewith abiblestudent. Keeping silent is giving the WT a chance to grow in his mind, (and a whole lot ofpent up anger inside of you) But anger and agressivenessis not the way to approach it, even though you will feel both many times. I try to remain consistant. Not overpower, but not letting it go too long.
