My confession: How i feel WT makes me a bigger liar

by Jon Preston 5 Replies latest jw friends

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  Jon Preston

  This is difficult for me to discuss. I love my wife and i live my family. But since i became a Jw i feel like ive lied more than when i was "worldy"...is it stress and the relentless pressure to do more? Im not sure. But i know since being a dub ive lied about money (often spending more than i admittd) about my doubts and true feelings (to protect her from the real truth) Nd with each day i feel it even more...it weighs on my conscience...or whats left of the tattered thing it used to Be. Im not sure how much longer i can carry this load but i have to be cautious. Does anyone esle feel this way?

  Jon Preston
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  TTATTelder

  I do feel that way also. I don't take it quite as hard as you seem to be describing though. I feel like I am forced to take the cautious position I do. It is not because of any dishonesty on my part, but because of the childish, black-and-white world the org has created that my wife is bought into most of the time.

  I am happy to know now what I know, but the knowledge comes with a large responsibility. I honestly look at it like not telling a child Santa Claus isnt real. I mean at some point you have to, but it would need to be at a point when the timing is right and they are ready.

  That analogy speaks more to the childishness of it all and to the emotional immaturity it promotes. I know it's more serious than that.

  I wish you well. I am still very much in the journey myself. I will say though - just when you think you are cracking - the mind has a way of moving to the next level of acceptance.
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  RunAsFastAsYouCan

  they only lie when their lips are moving.
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  Syme

  Repression leads to lying.

  It's human nature. Especially when you repress perfectly natural urges.

  The more repressing a religion is, the more lying their members are. They are forced to lie.

  Why so many priests and monks lie about their chastity/celibacy? Because they're repressed.

  Why so many JWs lie about viewing pornography or masturbating? Because it's a 'taboo'; it's a repressed urge.

  Excessive requirements lead to excessive lies.

  Also, if you try desperately to build and maintain an image of a ''holy'' man of "faith" (as a 'good' JW does), of course you have to lie some times in order to keep that image intact. You can't make an omelette (image) without breaking some eggs (lying).
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  rebel8

  Pulling the Band-Aid off 1 millimeter at a time hurts more than just ripping it off, and the ultimate outcome is the same.
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  Finkelstein

  Being a pretentious fraud is part of upholding an supportive image of yourself and the organization

  thats helping you create that superlative image.

  It becomes even more interesting that the very organization that creates fear and guilt onto people has

  actually structured itself upon a presumptional series of lies.