An email to a new person in "the truth"

by biblexaminer 8 Replies latest jw experiences

  • biblexaminer
    biblexaminer

    I wanted to share a few points from an email that I recently sent to a very sincere person. I think this has value for the dub neophytes in the crowd who lurk here.

    To those newbies who, despite having found out plenty about the Watchtower, still continue your study and attendance at meetings, I leave you these thoughts.

    I understand your thinking, more than you know. When you take a look at the various churches around, there's not much to offer. I would never go to any of them.

    Our situations couldn't be any more different, you a beginner, me in it my whole life. But I will say this, that basically I have been where you are and I remember the time when I looked forward to the meetings.

    Life can get tough at times. I well understand how association with others who might be having a tough go of it, can help. I believe it was John Dunn who said "No man is an island". This world can make you feel very much alone.

    If I were in your situation, I might do as you do now. But, and that's a BIG but, as time goes by, there's going to be an increasing amount of pressure for you to perform. And, after some more time, the contradictory points of many teachings will begin to eat at you. And if you are, to any degree, the kind of person to whom truth matters, then you will begin to find that the "truth" just isn't cutting it any more.

    You have heard the saying "Familiarity breeds contempt"?? As Watchtower teachings become more familiar to you, you will feel increasing contempt for them. As well, you will become more familiar with different elders, C.O.s etc. and begin to see the hypocrisy in their way of life. And as time goes by, you will grow weary of the relentless push to "do more", as "the end is so close". The ever changing dates, as you are beaten into submission with Matthew 24:45-47, will become unbearable. And finally, since it appears you are 'on the web', the sheer hypocrisy of the Watchtower will be finally just too much to tolerate, since you will be privy to the facts in comparison to WTS lies.

    But it may take a few years for this inevitable cycle to complete itself in your case.

    It's like this. A little while ago, there was this lady named Elin. (not sure of the spelling) She has two beautiful little girls. Her husband didn't want her to study with the JWs. He, with the help of a neighbor tried in vain to 'de-program' her using Ray Franz's book "Crisis of Conscience''. I think he was sure that the book would succeed, yet it had no effect. Why?

    On the other hand, my wife of 20+ years in the Org. was turned away from the Watchtower before she was half way through reading the book. Again, why?

    The difference is that all the stuff in Ray's books has very little meaning to a newbie, but carries a great deal of weight for a long-time member who has lived through it all and is familiar enough with it all, so as to feel contempt for the Watchtower upon finding out the REAL truth.

    Think about it this way: You worked for a company for 20 years. One day, you show up for work and find the door locked. There's a sign on the door that tells you that you no longer have a job, health coverage, or a retirement plan. At the same time, another worker shows up. She was hired last Tuesday. She says "Oh well..." a goes looking for another job. But how do you feel?

    You see, there's a big difference between a newbie and a long time member. And they are both affected in far different a way by the truth about "the truth". After you have spent some considerable time among the "brotherhood" and been hounded and made to feel uncomfortable enough times, and after you have filled your belly with hypocrisy, then it will be quite a different game.

    You can casually go to the Kingdom Hall today... but tomorrow is quite a different story. The Watchtower does not long tolerate those who think they can go to meetings for their own benefit. You MUST be pressed into service.

    Have you ever showed the person that studies with you any information from the internet? Probably not....

    A final note. Here today, gone tomorrow. This is the Watchtower mantra. Like two ships who have passed in the night, we have met, but it was brief, since just like mother Earth, this revolving door we shared never ceases to turn. Now one last push and you are in, and I ...

    Say hello to everyone inside from me.

  • DanTheMan
    DanTheMan

    Excellent post.

    The WT emphasizes its "reasonableness", but for most people who join the cult, it is an emotional decision.

    My advice to anyone studying is, TAKE YOUR TIME, don't let them rush you into anything.

    Any ex-JW will tell you that there is absolutely no way you can know what you are getting into based on a 6 month study and attendance at a few meetings. I sure didn't. That is why the apostate label is so unfair. I was so eager to get baptized, but there were so many things that I wasn't aware of or didn't understand completely.

  • dobby
    dobby

    Wonderful post.

    I totally relate. 16 years old - telling my dad (non witness) that I was not going to college but going to pioneer and get ready for the new world. Nothing would change my mind.

    He told me "I'd like to hear your opinion on this ten years from now"

    Well he was close! One day less than six months ago, more than ten years from his statement to me - it all just disinegrated before my eyes.

    I walked away mentally, emotionally and physcially in a moment. Even though complete metamorphis is taking time - the decision was split second.

    I think the reason it was so quick was the accumlation of the years of hypocrisy, lies and painful experiences.

  • out4good3
    out4good3
    Any ex-JW will tell you that there is absolutely no way you can know what you are getting into based on a 6 month study and attendance at a few meetings. I sure didn't. That is why the apostate label is so unfair. I was so eager to get baptized, but there were so many things that I wasn't aware of or didn't understand completely.

    And that's the trap right there. That's especially so when they "love bomb" you at the KH. It's all so overwhelming at first especially if you're one who craves or needs attention. It's only after you've been in that the realization comes that you've lost so much of yourself and turn your back on so many chances by trying to comform.

  • lastcall
    lastcall

    Enjoyed your post very much. I too was in it all my life. I am 31 years old. In my late 20's I began having doubts. My grandma had been trying to get me to read COC for more than 10 years. Turning 30 made me wonder about my life and where I was headed. That along with strong doubts and the realization that if it was indeed "the truth" it should be able to stand up against scrutiny, led me to finally read it. And I agree with you :

    "You see, there's a big difference between a newbie and a long time member. And they are both affected in far different a way by the truth about "the truth"."

    Excelent point. We all have the bond of having some association w/ JW"s on this board. But there is a extremely special bond among former JW's who were raised in it. No matter what convictions we have now, that upbringing shaped who we are. And there is this common awareness that those raised in it can always understand.
    Those of you who are teetering back and forth, take your time, but not too much time.Reassure yourself one way or the other, using a VARIETY of resourses, because life WILL pass you by my friends.
    I continue to be impressed and enlightened and understood by the cool people on this board.

  • jst2laws
    jst2laws

    biblexaminer,

    I admire you devotion to rescuing. Keep up the good work.

    Jst2laws

  • hawkaw
    hawkaw

    Well done and an outstanding post.

    This is sooo true as I have now observed way to many people in and out of the Borg.

    hawk

  • sf
    sf

    sKally

  • peacepipe
    peacepipe

    BE, Hi, computer crashed. lost all my emails, addresses etc. finally back and running but i have a new net provider/address. Could you email so I can get yours back? Thanks :)

    PeacePipe

    Look around and choose your own ground. . for long you live and high you fly. . and smiles you'll give and tears you'll cry. . and all you touch and all you see. . is all your life will ever be. . .Pink Floyd

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