Sexting, thinking with my little head

stillin

I had no idea, having come from such a sheltered life, how tantalizing those little text messages could be. I'm a married man. My wife has pretty much decided that sex is not for her anymore. (Sorry, honey, if it's because of my shortcomings, ahem) then this lady shows up at the KH from many years ago. She hasn't been "in the truth" but her family is here. So we discreetly exchange phone numbers so we can do some "catching up" on each others' lives.

It has gone through the roof! If she is a pathological home wrecker, I'm screwed! She has enough on me to bury me.

The interesting thing is that she is single and says that she wants me. Wow. It's been forever since anybody wanted me.

I know that I haven't been too smart, don't lecture me. I was starting to think I was impotent until all of this started up. That isn't insignificant to a guy. But I'm not impotent,for sure.

The smart thing is to gently walk away. The corny thing is to think "wow, a shot at happiness!" The weasley thing is to actually get physical on the sly. I've never done that on my wife and I'm sorta pleased with myself about that, but after all, she cut me off, what does she expect?

sorry if I'm boring you. I just had to get this off my chest.

new hope and happiness

. The way you describe it there is no right or wrong, black white nor anything in between.Maybe the smart thing to do is follow your heart....

Oh if you explain all this to your wife, as i say its not black and white...well it might fix things...maybe it needs telling....

stillin

Thanks for responding, New Hope and Happiness, your name says it all! Wifey would go ballistic! I have found that my most intimate moments of sharing things about myself with my wife are stored up like ammunition to be used at a later date.

it seems like all or nothing with this new lady.

Phizzy

This is a huge decision that you are thinking of making. what have you to base your decision on ?

O.K, it is hugely exciting and a boost to ones self respect when someone takes an interest. But, you could throw away all you have with your wife, and then find that you really are not in love with the new girl on the block, and worse still, that you really do not even like her !

At the moment you are in the infatuation stage, well recognised by cod-psychologists like me as a form of madness, not a good time for decision making.

She does not seem to be the kind of person who I would wish to trust. What would stop her from moving on the the next poor guy who is lonely within his marriage ? she may be a serial home-wrecker, or become one. Beware.

Go along for the ride if you must, but don't burn bridges. I would advise keeping all this to yourself for as long as you can, perhaps never telling your wife any of it. Whatever and whenever you tell her you will cause great hurt and mistrust.

Go very carefully my friend.

Listener

There's no telling whether this JW lady will start feeling guilty and confess to the elders. You've got to consider that the chance of your wife finding out is extremely high.

Laika

You don't need an affair, you need marriage counselling!

The grass is not always greener and this new girl could end up worse. Even if it works out there may be residual guilt (particularly if you have children?) You want to be able to honestly say you did everything you could to save your marriage before you give up on it.

Witness My Fury

Unless you have actually spent real time with her in person in some different situations you cant possibly make a realistic judgement on anything about her. If all you have to go on is a few snatched converstions and text messages then you'r going to filling in the gaping holes with guesswork and wishful thinking. it's a recipe for disaster... if you have given her lots of ammo that can be used against you then she has the upper hand and likely knows it.

Texts can and are discovered. My brothers wife was having an affair and he found out about it when he looked thru her suspiciously acquired 2nd phone...

You need to have a hard long think and unless you really know this woman and she is worth the extreme amounts of hassle an affair will entail then you should walk away asap.

J. Hofer

> then you'r going to filling in the gaping holes

this.

Witness My Fury

LOL

Bruja-del-Sol

I've done what you're considering: I've left my husband for some horny messaging guy I met through the internet. Sex with my ex-husband was not good, I didn't like it. I'm also a three time abuse victim (lucky me... pffff), so sex will always be sort of a struggle for me. But this guy knew how to turn me on, where I thought that I was frigid he proved me wrong. So after a couple of months I left my then husband, got DF'd and in a couple of weeks I was living together with this oh so sexy guy...

And it turned out he wasn't that sexy after all. He was actually good in bed, but the rest of him was awful! He was rude, unkind, he lied, was looking for fights all the time, made me cry more in a year that I had cried in 15 years of marriage... so I was wrong! The only thing that was good about him was that he gave me the courage to leave my husband! I would've never felt strong enough to do that on my own. And even my ex-husband admits that if I hadn't left, he would have never done it. Not because our marriage was so good, but because of all the logical reasons: having two kids together, a mortgage, a business and a shared life for over a decade... But he thanked me years after our divorce for having the courage to go, 'cause he now knows we're both better off and even the kids say they are glad I did what I did.

But the guy I did it for.... it was a joke, really, nothing of real worth!

add: except for the text messages, I've been open and honest to my ex-husband. I never cheated on him, I had already left him when I had the first time sex with the other guy. And I promised my ex to tell him if I did, so he would be free to re-marry a nice sister (which I stupidly did and got DF'd for it, not knowing that within three months my ex would leave the JW's too!!! So after all it wasn't necessary for me to be DF'd after all, I could have faded if I wouldn't have been the pleaser to 'help my ex out'... My ex feels sorry for me now, I've lost everything but our kids because of this, and he went into the world, found him a nice young chick, started smoking cigars, had sex without being married, even let her move in with him, and married her a couple of years later and no JW ever gave a damn about what he did. The only advantage I had by being DF'd is that I knew instantly who were the people I could count on... the only one was my ex! I'm glad we're still friends).

Sexting, thinking with my little head

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