Is it natural to be with one person for a lifetime

by Leander 25 Replies latest jw friends

  • Leander

    I've always wondered if there really is such thing as a paradise and a hope for eternal life would we be limited to interacting with only one person?

    The point could be argued from several perspectives. Several scriptures would suggest that a man and woman once joined in marriage are to be tied only to each other indefinitely. However there are other scriptures where the practice of having more than one spouse was not uncommon.

    Also its interesting to note that as humans variety is one of the keys to a rich and meaningful existence. No sane person would enjoy eating the same food, wearing the same clothing or even talking/interacting with just one person. So why would'nt that apply to initmate relationships as well? Despite the fact that people get married to one person they still experience attractions to other people. Would'nt this be a sign that we naturally are capable of enjoying more than one relationship?

    I'm not claiming to know the answers to this, but its an interesting thought.

  • plmkrzy

    "Is it natural to be with one person for a lifetime"

    Gee...thats what my EXHusaban said when I caught him in the sack with a neighbor girl.

  • Dutchie

    Solomon certainly gave evidence of thinking that "variety is the spice of life".

  • jack2

    Well, Solomon sure had the urge for variety, huh?

    I would think though that, if a man and woman were really deeply in love, they would want to be together forever. While the yearning for variety is there, and sometimes we all (especially men, it seems) probably wonder what it might be like to be a Solomon (or, hopefully, a little less than Solomonic, lol), I would expect that a man and woman would want to be together, and exlusive, in a really good relationship.

    Also, it seems to me that the desire to experience variety in some aspects of life, like eating, dress, interaction with friends, would not necessarily be desirable or best in such an intimate relationship as husband/wife, since the level of emotional commitment is so much greater.

  • Matty

    Dutchie, he sure did! But that’s the bible for you, “don’t do as I do, do as I tell you!!”

    Leander, I understand how you are questioning everything you have learnt like I have – what a crazy life we’ve had! On this subject I'm really not sure. The bible defines the sexual roles for men and women very clearly, and everyone else is labelled a sinner, or a deviant – bound for oblivion. The truth is, that we are all different, how dare God create us with feelings and then send down bolts from above when we express them! Whatever anyone’s sexual orientation – gay, straight, monogamous or promiscuous - all I can hope for, is that everyone should respect others, and if it makes you happy, it can’t be that bad!

    I know that some people find staying with the same person for life totally alien, and that’s OK providing they are with someone else that feels the same way! A lot of hurt and pain can be avoided if people are honest about how they are right from the outset of any relationship. Although I have lost my faith in the existence of God I don't believe that monogamy is something that has been forced onto us by the bible, denying us our natural inclinations like some people do – although you can understand that people may have their own agenda when they say things like that. The very idea of an open relationship feels me with horror! Nobody should label me as priggish, or a stuffed shirt for thinking that, any more than I should be rude to people who are promiscuous.

    PS My 100th post - whoa.
    PPS Good point jack2 (sent above before I saw your post)

  • Francois

    IMHO, the natural estate of the human animal is decidedly NOT monogamous. Only with spiritual development do we, grudingly, "cleave the one to the other."

    I've had longer or shorter periods of singleness in my life, and I've been married a couple of times. So far, I haven't met the woman I can't loose interest in sooner or later. And I don't think this is callous, I just think its natural. It's at least the natural outcome of sharp contentions over trivia that a pair of same-sexed good friends would never even consider mentioning.

    And I don't think God had anything to do with marriage. IF he had, divorce would be unknown. Totally. Although marriage is HUMANLY divine.

    And, too, so many people evidently think that marriage confers some sort of total monopoly of personality over someone else. The active word being "over". NO thanks.


  • SYN

    Animals are not monagomous. We share 99% of our DNA with animals. Cope.

    "Until they become conscious, they will never rebel. Until they rebel, they will never become conscious." - George Orwell

  • LucidSky

    Interesting points I've also been considering recently as well. I'm going through a confusing period of my life and I'm not sure what I want right now. But I think it is a tribute to those who choose to stay together out of mutual love and not just because of a "vow".

    Before I lost faith in the Bible I used to believe that the main reason God demanded monogamy was to prevent human jealousy and hurt feelings. I really could not find another valid reason. Hey, in the new system we won't be jealous, so guess what!?

  • rekless

    I was quite content married to my childhood sweetheart for 35 yerars. We never considered anybody else.

    She passed away two years ago come September.

    I think it is natural.

    Advance heart & vascular Specialists
    Ram K. Singh, MD., F.A.C.C.
    4432 S. Eastern Ave.
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    Hell is truth seen too late. H.G.Adams

  • Princess

    You wouldn't ask that question if you had found the right person. I agree with rekless, totally natural.


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