"I'm thinking of getting reinstated just so I can get my family back."

by Julia Orwell 19 Replies latest jw experiences

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  Julia Orwell

  This was just said to me by a friend who was disfellowshipped just over 2 years ago. She just had a miscarriage, and her partner dumped her rather than supported her through this process. She told her JW parents, and they refuse to even call her or offer her any emotional support. I mean, she just friggin' lost her baby!!!

  I know she won't really go through the reinstatement process as she's like KateWild and speaks up, and the elders don't easily reinstate someone like that. Oh and she's a single mother too... It goes to show though just how badly you need your family when tragedy strikes, and how this cult rips them away from you. I mean, her baby died! That's the worst thing that can happen to most women.
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  NAVYTOWN

  My advice would be to join a traditional type local church where she can get some real UNCONDITIONAL love and support. Why even consider going back to a hate-filled religion like the Witnesses. Plus join a support group for single mothers if one is available in her area. The best lesson she can teach her parents is to let them see her doing well OUTSIDE of the Witness cult. By no means should she even consider reinstatement!!!
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  HappyDad

  I learned from experience that any Christian non denoninational church will give you more support the all the KH's I've eve been to. I love the church that I go to for the past 7 years. There is genuine love and concern there without judgement for whatever is going on in your life. They follow what the Bible says.....not what Brooklyn says. So........my suggestion is to join a tradional type local church just as NAVYTOWN said.

  HappyDad
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  KateWild

  Julia,

  How tragic for her, if she needs help to go to a JC meeting give her my details, I can skype her also. If she decides it's not worth the stress as it will mean over a year of being ignored on the back row then by all means continue to support her.

  I agree with you, if her personality is like mine, and the JC is indifferent to her pain like her parents are, then she won't get RI'd. Get her to listen to my JC meeting. She might feel different after she listens. Below.

  http://www.jehovahs-witness.net/members/private/266620/1/My-JC-meeting-Did-they-RI-me#.Ur_ZE_RdW8A

  She needs as many people in here life that care, I will provide as much human contact as she needs from the otherside of the world. I can be here for her on skype if she can't sleep at nights. She has 24/7 support now. I will PM you my details and send you a FB friend request.

  You are a lovely caring soul Julia,

  Love Kate / Sam xx
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  happy@last

  It's astonishing how heartless these people are. Assure your friend of your love and care and let her know there's a lot of people out here feeling for her.
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  quellycatface

  I think Kate has summed up the feelings of us on here. We feel her pain and will be there for her.

  I understand what it feels like to go through losing a baby. Her parents are making a mistake cutting themselves off from her. I am always shocked and hurt at how heartless this cult really is.

  Thinking of your friend.
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  Julia Orwell

  Thanks! My friend is not fully ready for TTATT yet, but she's becoming more and more receptive to it. It won't be lost on her that the ones who rally to her side during this time of need are her disfellowshipped friends and me, the 'apostate'.

  Her mother is a mega bitch though, and I reckon this is a cause of many of her neuroses and problems in life. What she really wants is her father to be there and protect her, even just have a nice meal with her but he won't even do that. Sick. She's so upset because when he went to jail recently she did everything she could to see him and support him in his hour of need, and now he shuns her in her hour of need.
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  flipper

  JULIA- Please tell your friend that she has our support and it would be a good thing if she was in contact with Katewild as she definitely may give her some tips for a prospective JC meeting. That being said, I know that getting reinstated isn't going to help her problems- it sounds like her JW family or friends will treat her like crap even after reinstatement.

  Let me see if I understood your words correctly. You said BOTH the mom & dad are Witnesses ? Correct ? And you stated that your friend stood by her JW dad recently when he went to JAIL - even going to see him and was supportive in his hour of need ? And now HE wants to shun HER ? I mean- just how messed up is that picture ? With parents like this- who needs enemies ?

  I don't know man. Your friend needs a good dose of real put back into her view of reality. I guess all you can do is be there for her when the walls fall down if she chooses reinstatement. She's going to get a big surprise on how people are treated not as full class JW citizens who still have spiritual alleged " weaknesses " by the JW's she'll be trying to please. Been there, done that. I wish your friend luck in whatever she decides . Personally I think she'd be better off not applying for reinstatement. Just my 2 cents. Her parents will hold it over her head if they are that punitive. Good luck and take care
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  under the radar

  This is such a messed up cult. I feel really bad for your friend. I hope she doesn't get sucked in and fall victim to the emotional blackmail she's going through.
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  Julia Orwell

  I don't think she will somehow. She's starting to see that the JW religion is cruel to people like her. Her mother will never let her forget she was dfd for x amount of years if she does come back. I don't think she'll go back after this.

  As for her dad being in jail, it probably has something to do with when he was disfellowshipped. My friend was shocked when he got dfd and she didn't want her daughter staying at her parents' house. From her time as a biker 'moll' she knew a lot of people in prison and pulled strings to make sure her father wasn't set upon by the other inmates. It's all very weird. She was there for him though, and he's not here for her. This really hurts her and I think will highlight to her just how callous this cult is.