Shunning: How would You Overcome it?

ABibleStudent

After reading the thread Soon to be 18 and quit speaking to her mother- suggestions?, I started thinking of how to use the WTBTS's doctrine to help JWs to see what is the real purpose of shunning for the WTBTS. Hopefully, some good ideas will be posted to this thread and may help exJWs and JWs to maintain relationships with each other instead of shunning the non-JWs.

How would a JW react to the following?

Do Christians shun or not associate with non-JWs to help non-JWs believe that the WTBTS has the "Truth", to keep the cong clean of non-believers, or to not be shunned? If you are a Christian, please show me in the Bible one example more than I can show you the oppisite of Jesus Christ shunning or not associating with non-believers. If you can, I will return/join the WTBTS. If you cannot, than how can you justify the WTBTS promoting shunning or not associating with non-JWs. (pause)

If you cannot defend the WTBTS-s doctrines and still shun or not associate with non-JWs, how can you call yourself a Christian?

How would you interpret Jesus Christ's intentions after reading Mt 5:43-48, Mt 9:9-12, Mt 21:28-31, Mark 2:13-17, John 4:7-9, Acts 10:28, MT 15:21-28?

How would you try to reason with a JW about shunning or not associating with you?

Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,

Robert

Narcissistic Supply

Million Mentally Diseased March on the WT.

GoneAwol

Just like I told my step brother who is trying his best to shun his Dad, i wont stand by and watch you hurt anyone in this family. I will not condone such bad behavior, nor will i encourage it by not saying anything. Every week I phone him and ask if he has phoned Dad lately.

This weekend he is coming to visit Dad for the first time in 8 months. Be straight with them, get in there first before a pattern of shunning can develop. Make them aware you are watching their behavior and will not put up with it.

If you use their doctrine, they will simply find another doctrine to use against you.

Be human about it! Confront them on a one to one. No wiggle room.

GA

Scully

You overcome it by not participating in it. They are the ones required by the WTS to shun ex-JWs and there ought to be consequences for such behaviour. The opposite (ex-JWs shunning JWs) is not a requirement - to do so would be to endorse the behaviour and participate in it, and even worse, it endorses the WTS's claim of authority over the ex-JW.

They want to shun you and your spouse, the parents of your children? Then they don't get the privilege of associating with your children and being allowed to treat their ex-JW parent with disrespect (and thereby set an example of disrespecting their parents). If they want to have their grandchildren / nieces / nephews in their lives, they have to behave in a manner that sets an example of acceptance, love and tolerance of everyone, including people whose opinion on religious matters differs from their own.

ADJUSTMENTS

The attraction of being a JW is the SO CALLED love with a clause (conditional love), until you see that you are not accepted for who you are. If you don't fit the mold that love is taken away... It's then called shunning. So it's pretty much play to stay as a JW! I'm so glad I'm on my way out! It's a FAKE religion!!! Christendom isam much better alternative no pun intended!

Band on the Run

It is sad that this post did not have a longer life. I don't see any answer. Every situation will be different as the people involved. Jgnat posted some good advice about appealing to the non-cult self. The problem is if you have no contact, how do you approach the non cult self. I don't know the current rules for breaking the shunning. Isn't there a family business exception?

I was amazed at how many members here have been shunned and shunned for many years. Is there any social science research that indicates way to deal with it? It must be very hard to make the transition from Witness to normal person. Did shunning start with Rutherford? It seems the type of inhuman cantankerous action that he loved.

Isn't it true that if someone's family never had any dealings with the Witnesses, they could not be shunned. JW.org is being not truthful about shunning.

Does anyone join without thinking that they might be shunned someday?

I just wanted to make this topic active.

jgnat

Appeal to compassion. Ask them to put themselves in your shoes for a moment. Don't try and beat them at doctrine; speak the language of love. Which Jesus did on more than one occasion. Send postcards. Make a keepsake box with small rememberances and gifts. When you reunite it is evidence of enduring love. The lost child can then rewrite their history realizing you never gave up on them.

coppersgirl67

I just now saw this new thread and thank you so much for starting it. Yes I have sent a card to my oldest daughter a few months after she left but she returned it. I have run into her once and tried to just say I love you and give her a hug but she just acted as if I were poison and then her Dad intervened. My own son at 6 yrs old at the time looked right at him and told him they were terrible people for shutting their own Mommy out!!! I also snuck into her wedding and so as not to make a scene she simply said thank you and let me give her a hug....I told her husband to please take care of my baby and he showed more compassion than she did. I have since only seen her at my grandma and pa funerals which of course my Dad turned into a JW funeral and they werent' even. My son finally got her phone number and I send her a loving text about once a month just to remind her that I love her but have never heard a response. The first time I called and left a message but again nothing.

I have appealed to them both emoitionally...even telling them that I would give anything to have even 1 hour with my own mother who died when I was a little girl and could not ever imagine just writing her off of my own accord.

My son doesn't know hi grandfather and barely ever seen him because his Dad and I decided if Grandpa won't speak to his own daughter then he has no right to speak to his one and only Grandson....of course I am sure in the JW world it is all poor poor Mike!!!!

I guess the best is to enjoy the little bit of time she gives me and then remind her of my unconditional love again, try to explain that complete shunning is not needed because I will never come back, and that she can at least text or emial, occassionaly phone calls....I don't know what she will do. At this time in the last year she tells me complete shunning it what she plans.

tim hooper

This is how I dealt with a neighbour who opted to shun me.

Me: "Why are you shunning me?"

Neighbour: "Because you're disfellowshipped"

Me: "Why was I disfellowshipped?"

Neighbour: "What?"

Me, again: "Why was I disfellowshipped?"

Neighbour: "I don't know why you were disfellowshipped. I don't want to know why you were disfellowshipped!"

Me: "So you're shunning me and you don't even know why you're shunning me? Are you OK with that?"

Neighbour: "Well, I er um....."..and the conversation tails off as he realises how ludicrous it is to pretend that someone doesn't exist and not even know why they're doing it.

Simon

Tell the people doing the shunning how hurtful, unloving and unchristian it is and ask them what they think the purpose of it is - love, or control.

Shunning: How would You Overcome it?

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