Tell us a little about yourself and your family.
In my middle years with grown/married children and grandchildren. Hubby is an elder.
.
Were you a born in or a convert?
Born-in
.
Are your parents / family JWs?
Yes
.
How many generations have been JWs?
Parents converted in the early 50's
.
Did you hold any position in the WTS? (MS, Elder etc...)
No, as I'm a female. Did regular pioneer for a few years in my teens
.
Did you *really* believe in the bible, in spirits (angels, demons)?
Yes, I always have and still do. I remember sitting in meetings as soon as I'd learned to read pouring over the bible and being engrossed in the stories. Meetings themselves went in one ear and out the other but I loved reading the bible. Although I believe in demons, they never held any fear for me.
.
Did you get baptised? When and why?
In my mid teens because I loved God. That still stands for me. It was pre the 'loyalty to the Org' question. For me baptism meant in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. No one and nothing else!
.
What was the initial trigger that made you start questioning things?
The overlapping generation doctrine at the 2010 DC. I just could not get my head round it. Before that I'd always questioned many things, misplaced prophecies, certain teachings, many things didn't sit well with me regarding some doctrines. I'd always felt very uncomfortable with the 'Faithful Slave' teaching.
.
Where did you find information? Internet sites? Books?
First place Wikipedia. Looking up some things about JW teachings I came across Ray Franz. I'd never heard of him before and I was intrigued. I read up about him and discovered he'd written a book (CoC). I was curious and I got it and I read it in 3 days. In those three days I woke up completely! That book is dynamite! Talk about discovering the 'Man behind the Curtain'!
.
How difficult or painful was the process of leaving?
I am in the process. A long, slow fade. It is very difficult!
.
Was it a big dramatic exit or a careful quiet fade?
See above. I want to go quietly with as little fuss as possible. Not easy when your hubby is an elder (and on the service committee).
.
Did you convince anyone else to leave with you?
Not yet. I live in hope.
.
How were your family relations affected by your decision?
They are obviously upset about it. But I think they will get used to it eventually.... I hope.
.
Were you or are you still being shunned by those who didn't leave?
N/A
.
How long have you now been out?
Mentally- 2 years exactly. Pysically, unfortunately, still in.
.
Was there anything you looked forward to doing when you left?
Just enjoying life without feeling guilty!
.
What are you most proud of achieving since you left?
Standing up to my family and telling them how I really feel.
.
Is there anything you miss about life in the congregation?
I do miss the social side but not too much. My real friends are still in my life.
.
Red pill or blue pill? Do you regret waking up to reality at all?
Red!....I think! LOL I'm glad I know what I know but it is hard. It was definitely easier living in ignorance. I wouldn't want to go back to that though.
.
Did you become an atheist or transfer your faith elsewhere?
My beliefs now are simply christian. Non religious. I feel closer to God when I'm outside in the fresh air with nature than in a building. My faith is simple and personal.
.
How do you now feel about religion in general?
Hate it. Religion is oppressive, destructive, guilt inducing and harmful.
.
Do you feel any guilt celebrating xmas or birthdays or doing any other JW "no-no"s?
Haven't done anything yet because of still in family. Doubt it'll ever come up.
.
Have you attended any face-to-face meetups of ex-JWs?
No.
.
Describe your circle of friends - mostly other ex-JWs or regular people?
Over the last 10 years, even as a full in JW I collected a large number of internet friends, mainly non-JW through forums etc. (mutual interests). Quite a few of them I have gone on to meet in real life. A handful becoming close friends. However my closest friends are childhood JW friends still.
.
Do you tell people about your JW past?
I have done to one or two I feel close to.
.
Do you feel animosity or pity toward current JWs?
No. Only the institution. Mainly I feel sorry for them.
.
How do you respond to witnesses when they call at your door?
Invite them in and offer a drink LOL
.
Storm the barricades or tend to the wounded? (do you favor activism or support)
I favour support. It's good to have the info there but what awakening JWs need more than anything is help and support from others that have been there and gone through it. Everyone has their own way of dealing with what they've been through. Knowing you're not alone is the best therapy.
.
What do you think is the most effective approach to reaching people still in?
Trying to reach the authentic self. Dropping little thoughts that appeal to that authentic person. You really have to know the person well to be able to do this. Then to back off when the cult persona takes over.
.
Do you think the WTS can or should be destroyed, will continue on as-is or grow / change?
I hope to see it change, especially because of my loved ones who may never leave. If it softens up over many issues it would be great. But I can't ever see that happening. Who knows?
.
How has your life been impacted by your JW past?
I don't know who I really am. I'm trying to discover myself.It's an interesting process.
.
Are there things in your life you blame the WTS for?
A few. But I mainly blame myself. I'd always prided myself in being a thinker. Now I realise I was just plain gullible. It's a bitter pill.
.
JW upbringing - a protection or a curse?
Protection from certain things. I'm glad to have lived by certain standards. A curse in other things, like not being able to be truly free to be myself.
.
How do you fill your time now it's not filled with meetings and field service?
Staying in bed, reading. Not a lot different to be honest. I never did that much in the first place!
.
Do you still have an interest in JW beliefs and doctrines?
JW beliefs and doctrines are poles apart from bible doctrines. So, no.
.
How much of your time is still spent on JW related matters?
Only what has to be done to keep the peace and fly under the radar. Very little.
.
What do you think of the ex-JW community?
Mixed. A hotch potch of humanity! Very interesting!
.
Do you see yourself still being associated with the ex-JW community in 5 or 10 years time?
Probably, maybe to a lesser degree. It depends on how I've been able to move on.
.
Do you fear the future?
Only that I'm afraid one day they will DF me!
.
What advice would you give to anyone starting the journey of leaving the WTS?
Read, read, read and don't do anything rash until you have really thought it through!!
.
What would you change in your life if you could go back and talk to yourself?
I don't know. Life is what it is and what you make it. I have no real regrets. I have a wonderful family that I love very much and that's the most important thing to me. I try to live in the present and keep a positive attitude. Looking back with regret doesn't change things. I need to look forward.
.
Do you have any regrets about life since you left?
No
.
Can we read your life-story anywhere? (links to online or books)
No. I'm a very private person. This is as much as I'll ever share.
.