That time of the year once more, Xmas gifts. Help

by jam 14 Replies latest jw friends

  • jam

    Since the family members are getting older these days there are

    only a small number of kids that still look forward for Santa Clause in

    the family. So each year the older members (myself, brothers and sister)

    end up exchanging gifts. Each year I tell my sister and brothers please don't

    buy me a gift , I don't need anything. Xmas is for the kids. Each year

    we end up exchanging gift cards and at the end of the day it is about the same

    amount I spent on their gift cards. Now my nephews and nieces are giving me gifts

    because they said , over the years I gave gifts to their kids when they were young.

    It,s very stressful. I feel awful when gifts are exchanged and someone is left out.

    As a whole my family is doing well (financially). I have gifts that I received two

    years ago still in the box.

    This year I will suggest, why not take the money that we spend on gifts and write

    out a check to a worthy cause.

    Any suggestion on a worthy cause, an organization where the funds would go

    to those in need.

  • jgnat

    Or contribute to a local soup kitchen.

    How about an adult family lottery? Everyone draws one name. One gift per adult.

  • LisaRose

    It's understandable, many people feel uncomfortable with the yearly gift exchange. But keep in mind that this is what families do. This is mostly just a token - the gift itself is not what's important, it's the thought, as the saying goes. One SIL in our family decided she didn't want to give or receive gifts, this was stated in a very odd letter that read "I suppose you sent the plant, so thank you, but please don't send any more gifts, we don't want to do that". She sent similar letters to all and alienated everyone in one fell swoop. No one in our family is hurting financially, and the modest gifts of around $50, are really not a problem for any of us. My husband loves to select gifts and is still offended six years later, as are others. Then this woman complained that we are not closer??? Knowing we are all older, with little need for more things, we try to give gifts that are useful, either gourmet food, houseplants, or some other token gifts, so her actions seem stingy and selfish. Of course not every gift is perfect or what the person wants, but it's the spirit of giving that is important, not the actual monetary amount. I treasure every gift, even if it is not what I would choose for myself, it makes me happy.

    So, I know it can be hard, but look at it as the cost of family harmony, and keeping those important connections, and donate that ugly sweater to the thrift store.

  • jam

    Thanks Jgnat, soup kitchen sounds good. I would like to present a

    detail history on the organization, where the money is going and to whom

    it is distributed. I believe the family would get great satisfaction in doing

    something like that. Thanksgiving would be a great time to present it to

    the family. No more gifts. LOL

  • jam

    Donate that ugly sweater to the thrift store. LOL

    I have a few.


    Christmas is for the Kids..


    As a family,we buy for the kids..

    Less money spent..Kids get some cool stuff..

    ....................................... photo mutley-ani1.gif...OUTLAW

  • Watkins

    I make jellies and everyone knows ahead of time that's what they're getting.

    The kids get the good presents. As it should be. :)


  • Scully

    Why don't you all, as a group, decide on a charity to support and then make anonymous cards to put in a gift box which you all open together on Christmas day, and tally up the amount your group donated to this worthy cause and celebrate your accomplishment together over your dinnner?

    You could play a game called "Dirty Santa" for Christmas gifts. Everyone buys a token or gag gift for about $10-$15, wraps it up and brings it to the gift exchange party. Gifts get placed under the tree and depending on the number of guests (say there's 20), you'd have slips of paper in a hat, numbered 1 to 20. The person who draws first picks a gift and unwraps it. The next person in line has the option to choose a gift or steal from one of the gifts that's been revealed, etc. until all the gifts are open. Whoever has their gifts "stolen" gets to pick again either from the unwrapped gifts or the wrapped pile, but they aren't allowed to steal their original gift back.

  • Xanthippe
  • caroline77

    I don't do Xmas.

    I'm not a JW and never will be.

    You get used to not sending cards, etc, and in time everyone else gets used to you not conforming. Some still send cards, and I accept them in the spirit in which they are sent. They are kindly meant thoughts.

    At first you do feel a bit uncomfortable about it, but it fades in time.

    Giving to a charity is a good idea if you need to feel better about it.

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