Hi Tinkerbell, I might have some info on being bi-polar for ya. I am also bi-polar II , different in severity form bi-polar I. In bi-polar I , you have severe manic episodes that can be very destructive,to the point of hallucinations and pyschosis. In Bi-polar II , you dont get that extreame personaility changes and you you dont nessesarily need to be hospitalized. Many times , you feel great, dont need much sleep, have boundless energy, feel like you can do many creative things. But sooner or later ,you come down from your manic high, and you feel tired and irritated. Then the depression can hit, and when it does you hate it , hate it as much as you loved the great feeling it was before. The depressions in both bi-polars are as severe as in other major depressive episodes.
I have read many books on this and doctors told me many things . I didnt want to beleive that this is what was going on with me. I never sought help for it unless I was in the dooms of depression.
The highs are pleasant , but while they are going on , I seem to forget that what goes up , must come down. I have been on prozac for the depressions, and it helped . I only stay on it long enought to get well. Funny thing is, I havent been on any meds like that for almost a year, and it has been a year since I left the borg!!!!!!!!!
I know I am crazy .... LOL .... but the JW made me think I was worse than I really was, with all of their guilt trips. I am doing great .
I have the mood swings, the ups and downs, but I am doing behavior modification instead of medications. That is important to me, because sometimes the meds can take away your creative edge, and even hamper your personality. Maybe this is not the case for everyone, but for me , I feel better about myself without meds. If I ever need to go back on them , I most definately will go back on them . Plus I have a great family that understands and they keep a good eye on me!!!! It is great to have a good support system. But what helped me the most , is to finally learn to like myself. To accept that being bi-polar is part of who I am. Not always a pretty site to see, I can tell you the truth about that, but I embrace it as part of me.
