Jehu vs Jehonadab Class

by evilslave 3 Replies latest social humour

  • evilslave

    The Truth Will Set You Free - by evilslave

    Jehu: Hey Dab! I got some good news.

    Johonadab: Oh yeah?

    Jehu: Check it out. Some new friends of mine are coming to take us all to their 7êêêêêêê resort to live.

    Jehonadab: Live? For how long?

    Jehu: Like forever bro!

    Jehonadab: Sweet!

    Jehu: Yeh, they got a big hotel with all the amenities and right outside is a giant amusement park. Fun for everyone.

    Jehu: Their leaving at 8:45am and will be there exactly 9:14. So here’s the deal – you gotta pack up, you and your family, and get ready to leave.

    Johonadab: Will do. Thanks for the heads up bro

    Jehu: Always looking out for you and your family bro

    (9:15am) Jehonadab: Dude, no one’s here…sup?

    Jehu: Right…about that…listen my friends had some trouble at the resort. Some freakish gang and their crackhead leader. Bi…i…i…i…g fight. But my friends kicked their assess and threw them out so it’s all good at the resort now. But the gang is all over OUR streets now so keep a lookout. Anyone siding with my friends are in for it. Don’t hide it though cause my friends will think your disloyal and you won’t be allowed in.

    Jehonadab: K. So when are they coming…things are getting tough round here

    Jehu: That’s great that means they are close - 9:30am exactly… be ready

    (9:35am) Jehonadab: Hey what’s up with these friends? No one’s here…

    Jehu: Ah man sorry again. Some “new light” on that – my friends aren’t coming yet. My bad!!! They were busy getting married.

    Jehonadab: Married?

    Jehu: Yeh the found these 10 virgins with lamp oil and stuff. So you know…

    Jehonadab: Can at least talk to them myself?

    Jehu: Hey don’t you trust me. Doesn’t matter anyway cause these guys are into some high tech stuff. VOHS – Voice over Holy Spirit Comms. Only we have access to it.

    Jehonadab: But they’re never here when you say!

    Jehu: You must have heard wrong. No one really knows the real time so if you were looking at your watch it’s your stupid mistake.

    Jehonadab: You’re right…I trust you…I’m still looking out.

    Jehu: Do that. When YOU make these mistakes but keep waiting, it strengthens you – shows your substance. Don’t worry about jail time either. My friends like that your in their for them. Oh and also, don’t take blood!

    Jehonadab: Huh? Blood?

    Jehu: Yip stay away from blood. Die if have too. But no blood.

    Jehonadab: If you say so…you’re always taking care of us.

    Jehu: Oh and one more thing… You and your family you can’t stay at the hotel. You can only use the park.

    Jehonadab: Why not?

    Jehu: More “new light” again. Only we can go to the hotel with my friends. It’s exclusive. U understand, right?

    Jehonadab: Yeh…sure. You’re so discreet.

    Jehu: You bet we are - and don’t you forget it, or your out!!!

    (9:50am) Jehu: Hey my friends are coming almost for sure at 10:15am.

    Jehonadab: For sure? But I thought no one knew exactly when.

    Jehu: Hey stop being technical. This is the “current truth”. 10:15am is perfect time for them to show up. Pack you bags, sell your house get your family and sit on the sidewalk and wait. Possibilities are endless!

    Jehonadab: This is it – it’s finally here! “The light has gotten brighter”

    Jehu: Yeh bro! That’s the spirit! Keep up with the chariot. They have got to be crazy not to come at 10:15am. It’s a great time to be here.

    Jehonadab: We’re up! We’re watching out!

    Jehu: Tell everyone in the neighbourhood while you’re at it. The more the merrier. Keep your hours up with this job otherwise it shows weakness.

    Jehonadab: We’ll stay strong and spend ALL our time spreading the news. 10:15am!!! We’re so excited

    (11:00am) Jehonadab: NO ONE’S here! It’s 11:00am.

    Jehu: Hey didn’t you listen. We said no one knows the hour. You’re always getting yourself worked up

    Jehonadab: But you said….

    Jehu: Listen! No one knows the exact time. But they are coming soon. Trust us.

    Jehonadab: We have been doing that all the time.

    Jehu: Stop complaining! When you make these mistakes and get all worked up for nothing just be happy. It shows you believe. Keep telling everyone that they are coming SOON. This is the FINAL heads up. Don’t bother with what other people say. Don’t try to get educated cause thinking for yourself will weaken and corrupt you. My friends are just around corner.

    Jehonadab: I’m looking for them now. But they are not there.

    Jehu: What! Dab, don’t you know??? My friends are INVISIBLE...stupid. But KEEP ON THE WATCH!


  • KateWild

    LOL! vey good. Thank you love kate xx

  • pixel

    Lol. Very good. But so sad this is based on a true story.

  • KateWild

    Evilslave, welcome to the site. Please tell us your story so we can get to know...Kate xx

Share this