A new life with my long lost brother...UPDATE

TimeBandit

Last December I posted this joyous story about the new life I made with my long lost brother (Here's a link to that Story).

So much has changed since then. For the absolute worst. He turned out to be abusive and controlling. He also took advantage of us to the tune of thousands of dollars. Things became so miserable there that we had to leave or else lose our minds. We did so suddenly and without warning while he was out of town. We felt like that was the best way to avoid a very nasty confrontation and avoid anyone getting hurt.

I am really sad and distraught. My wife decided to walk out on her job so we could leave while we had the opportunity. I know that sounds desperate. We were at our wit's end or else we would never have left like that. We didn't even leave a note.

My positive attitude took a few hits over the past year, but I want to keep trying to be positive.

The story in the link above is a really naïve one. My jumping into moving in with my brother was especially naïve as well. We didn't see his true colors until it was too late. By Christmas (not long after I had posted the story from the link above) we knew we had made a terrible mistake. But by then we had no money to leave because of having spent it all moving in with him.

He had spent over a year prior to moving in with him buttering me up and convincing us to make the move to his house. Not long after we moved in they started treating my wife like dirt and trying to drive a wedge between her and I. Like I said before, it didn't take but a couple of months for us to see our folly.

This is the second time I have embraced my family with open arms, supported them financially, and been treated like total dirt in return for my efforts. First with my parents, then with my brother. And I convinced my wife to go along with it in both cases. My poor wife has been miserable and upset because of my misguided wishes to help my family and even though she still loves me and we are very close, I still feel the sting of having been mostly responsible for her misery at the hands of my parents and brother.

I never imagined that all the time, effort, money, and love I tried to put into the helping my parents and brother would have turned out with such a bitter end.

cofty

I'm so sorry to hear that. It's not easy to accpet that family can be toxic.

Good to hear you and your wife are sticking together.

Best wishes for a happier future.

LostGeneration

Sorry to hear this, sometimes those who are the closest to us treat us the worst.

At least you know now and won't make the mistake again.

LoisLane looking for Superman

I am so sorry to hear about how you were treated Timebandit. (((((Hugs of Encouragement and Hope)))))

I took note of what a poster wrote several months ago.

They pick friends (and it pertains to relatives also) who respect them and that they can in turn, respect also.

That is so different for JW's who are told they must love everyone, and they must be prepared to die for their Brother's ( tm ).

That is foolhardy and stupid.

Among JW's are pedophiles, and other bad and abusive people.

They do not deserve our love and respect.

They are toxic, which means it is not good for us to be around them.

I am sorry TimeBandit , things did not work out like they should have.

A lesson learned, is a wonderful thing.

You sound like a nice guy.

I hope you will continue to reach out to all the other fine people in the world.

There are lots of good apples out there. I encourage you to go and try, try again.

I wish you well in your Life journey.

LoisLane

adamah

Bummer, TB, since that's one of the elements of losing JW family via DFing; it's easy to build up expectations for non-JW family members, and that can set you up for hard life lessons when you've not seen them for what they ARE, but what you want them to be.

Good on you for extracting yourself and your wife from a toxic environment; you did what you had to do for both of your welfare, so don't be too hard on yourself.

Hang in there, keep your chin up and remember that whatever doesn't kill us (hopefully) makes us stronger and wiser (that is, if we learn from the past experiences).

Adam

3rdgen

((((((((Timebandit))))))))) you know the old saying "no good deed goes unpunished." I wish much better things for you in the future. Congratulations on the wisdom to select a lovely , understanding wife