How have u dealt with friends, family after leavin

by Leander 4 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  Leander

  I made a effort to break free a few months back and it was extremely difficult. My wife brokedown crying at the meetings, which triggered the elders and her family (my inlaws) to begin a campaign to win me back. Whats worse is that most of my friends and my family still don't know about that incident, so I know when I make the decision to move on that once everyone else knows it will be probably unbearable.

  So I'm wondering how did some of you make that transition? In most cases if you're born into a family of witnesses everyone you are close to will eventually alienate you when you leave the organization.
• 

  LB

  I left nearly a year before my wife. She also broke down at meetings and of course I received unconditional love from the body of elders for a few minutes after that.

  I just held firm and I did not explain myself or try to talk my wife out of attending. Eventually all the gossip about me caused my wife to stop attending herself. At that point the entire congregation gave up on us, except for the continuing gossip which continues.

  Hang in there.

  
  Never Squat With Yer Spurs On
• 

  orangefatcat

  when I left the congregation and was disfellowshipped in January 2000 I lost my entire family. Plus most of my relatives all and all I have been alinated by 33 family members. The only other 5 members have been disfellowshipped eons ago and I really never knew them very well. So basically I am very alone except for a few friends and my marvelous hubby. I divorced my first husband after 28 yrs of marriage. If you want to call it that. He was a fanatical mind manipulating, person who caused me great anguish and three nervous breakdowns. My family knew what he was like, but that didn't matter to them as it was okay for him to abuse me mentally and emotionally. The only one positive thing that resulted from that disaster was my beautiful son who is now 24 yrs. He is my pride and joy and has stood by me through thick and thin.
  So my family has not had any thing to do with me for just over two years and I haven't even run into them. So I have dealt with it as best as I can. At least I am free of the mind-control from both the Organizaton and my ex husband. I am free and I feel wonderful. Life is an adventure for me each and everyday and I wouldn't change that for all the tea in china.

  HINDSIGHT IS 20/20
  PROCRASTINATION IS THE THIEF OF TIME!!
• 

  Leander

  I'm thinking I may have to make a stand sometime during the latter half of this year. Unfortunately I won't be able to drift away, I know for a fact that if I miss more than 2 or 3 meetings I'll have the elders and my family all over me. The only way for me to get away is going to be a declaration of disassociation.
• 

  mouthy

  No body spoke to me again- told various lies about me-( to people whos doors they called on)said I went off my mind when my hubby died-
  said I was rushing ahead of JAH-I was a liar- etc:etc: etc:
  but when one of my daughters who had left the BORG to marry an unbeliever- had breast cancer & was dying- they all started writing to her to get "back into the Ark" she was so happy to write them & tell them the REAL truth- but never heard from them again...
  My daughter does e-mail me once in awhile now (she is a JW-) but didnt speak to me for ten years.If you dont want to be gossiped about if you write a letter of DA tell them you will sue- another friend did that - they nod to her in the Street now.