...and I was in charge of a big company, and I knew it was going under, you know what I'd do? I'd gather up as much money as I could hold in my arms and then I would disappear right before anyone called me to account for misleading all those shareholders and employees. Then I'd fake my own death while skiing in Colorado and get some papers made up saying I was cremated before too many reporters got into town to snoop around. By the time they saw my "death certificate", I'd be sipping mai tais on a beach in Tijuana.
Oh, but wait. They know I don't ski. Also, all the funds are overseen by the board of directors and CFO, and there's plenty of executives under me, so if the CEO disappears, they'll simply promote someone else to CEO and pay him instead. If I'm "dead", I won't get any pension paid out, and if they notice money disappearing right before my "sudden death", then the next CEO and his men will come looking for me. Let's not rush things too much. Think, man, think....
I've got it. I'll buy out the company first. Maybe I don't have the money, but I'll move some things around and make it look plausible on paper; I've got enough authority to push the paperwork through without people questioning me too much. Nobody will figure out the papers are worthless until it's too late. Once the company is private, no more board of directors; and I can fire any executives that look too promising as future CEO. Once I'm totally in charge of the company, I can move the company funds wherever I want. Bonjour, Credit Suisse.
Then I have to convince the employees of one last thing: that no one can run this company but me, and that, if anything should ever happen to me, to shut the whole thing down. This will prevent anyone from looking too closely at the books. To make sure that my death isn't suspicious, I'll let plenty of people know beforehand that I have a rare medical condition called "ungido" that can flare up without warning. If they're expecting me to disappear, they won't be suspicious. Bada-bing, I think this will actually work.
Hello, Tijuana!