My first experience at KH

by InChristAlone 16 Replies latest jw friends

  • InChristAlone
    InChristAlone

    Thank you to all of you who commented yesterday. No doubt you gave me an accurate description of what to expect. When I first walked in, I was greeted by the JW who calls on my house. He showed me what I think was the literature counter. His reference was more to the territory assignments. Then he took me across the room to the information board. It was a bit overwhelming for a newcomer to see all the assignments and information, but I'm sure once used to it, it makes more sense. I'm pretty sure I shook hands with and was introduced to most every male and several females in the congregation. It may be love-bombing, but it is a smart way to make a person feel welcome.

    Following the introductions, we went to the seat that my JW friend had saved for us. We stood and sang #1 from the songbook, "Jehovah's Attributes", a fitting song considering the talk given today. I smiled to myself during the song thinking about some of the comments you guys had made regarding the singing quality. Regardless of the "out-of-tune" nature of the songs, the one thing that bothered me was that there was no spirit in the singing. Not that I was expecting anyone to sing and dance naked like King David, but I didn't feel any real praise to our Maker. Two or three beats before the song was over, many people had closed their songbooks and had already assumed the prayer pose. Obviously, they knew what was coming next.

    Following the prayer, we sat down and was introduced to the speaker for the day, a guest from another congregation to speak on who Jehovah is. Within the first several sentences, I was reminded of our doctrinal differences as some tenets to my beliefs were utilized as examples of wrong thinking. It didn't surprise me that it came up; it just came up very quickly. The rest of the discussion was agreeable, so I spent a little time examining my surroundings. Because I belong to a church in which young children are kept busy elsewhere, I was intrigued to watch the little kids during the meeting. There were only a few, but their behavior was great. A special-needs child in the back would make noises occasionally, but it didn't seem to bother anyone. Literally during every five-minute period, somebody got up and walked out. I only assume that they were using the bathroom (although the cartoon may suggest otherwise). Some people left two or three times during the course of my stay, even adults. Many of the adolescents in the room appeared somewhat disinterested, and there was a fair amount of yawning around the room. The speaker wasn't boring at all, but I can see that the subject matter has been thoroughly covered before with very little to add. When the speaker was finished, everyone clapped for him. I sort of felt bad that I was the only one who didn't.

    A different elder came up for the Watchtower Study along with a young man to do the reading. I was surprised that the elder suggested that people should stay for the study. Did that really need to be said? And yet, still about a dozen people got up and left. To me, it didn't feel like a separate activity than the talk, but rather a continuation. We then sang #14, "All Things Made New". As I am sure that you all know, during the WT study, the young reader would read the paragraphs, and the elder would ask for volunteers to answer the questions. I had to stifle a giggle (after seeing the cartoon) when the first person to answer the question was a little child who answered verbatim what was in the paragraph followed by an adult with a few more practical things to add. The elder did a good job of trying to call on "new" hands following each question. A gentleman sitting near us had to have raised his hand 30+ times only to be called on twice. One must admire his tenacity. This process of going through the WT study was a bit exhausting for me. Little was said to add any practical value, the subject matter was completely agreeable to me, and verbatim answers were being overutilized. Even my JW friend yawned several times. Following the study, we stood and sang #134 "See Yourself When All is New", prayed and was dismissed. I then greeted everyone who I didn't meet the first time, spoke for a while with my JW friend and left.

    As far as my analysis of the experience, I try to think of some of the deeper things. Of course, I can only contrast it with my own experiences, but here it goes. While there were some doctrinal differences mentioned, they were not matters of deeper discussion today. I differ on the idea of the great crowd vs. the anointed, where they end up, and what exactly the ransom sacrifice is and what it means for us. Those three things came up several times in people's answers. But, I can't blame them or judge them for having different beliefs. They are sincere in their beliefs (as am I) and clearly indoctrinated by hearing the same thing over and over and over (as I was). So, to me, besides the structure of the meeting, there was little that was inherently different from many of the churches that I have attended over the years. Except for one major thing.

    The focus of the entire talk and WT study seemed to be on taking in an accurate knowledge of God...but not about knowing or experiencing God. To me, this is huge. This difference affects how one views God and their relationship with Him. Having before experienced the power of God, or the Holy Spirit, I am concerned to have felt that void during my visit at the KH. This difference is what creates that need to do things so God will find you acceptable vs. doing things because God has already found you acceptable. I would have loved to have genuinely praised God during the songs, but I felt as if there was no praise being lifted at all. It was these things that I had the most difficulty with.

    The brothers and sisters there are very nice. Only one person made a comment about my beard, but not in a judgmental way. He has visited my house several times before, so I guess he felt comfortable asking about it. There is definitely a high amount of self-discipline within the areas of the meeting, although there is little bladder control. The people are generally enthusiastic about answering questions during the WT study, some more than others. I had no interest in bringing up questionable things today, perhaps in the future, although I have no plans on returning anytime soon. Well, there you go, please feel free to stoke my memory with questions. I'll answer the best I can.

  • FadeToBlack
    FadeToBlack

    Thanks for the update. At least you went with an open mind.

  • Bob_NC
    Bob_NC

    The most telling part of your observation was noticing the distinction among Jehovah's Witnesses for always "taking in knowledge", an activity, versus knowing and experiencing God, a state of being. That is on point and precisely why you did not experience rejoicing or praising during either meeting. Rejoicing and praising are foreign experiences to JWs.

    Bob in NC whom you sort of know

  • rip van winkle
    rip van winkle

    ICA- I enjoyed reading your KH experience! (You were probably the only one there that paid close attention.)

    However, I feel a little nauseated as your assessment and description of your experience made me feel I was there right along side you!!!

  • Laika
    Laika

    Ah, InChristAlone, I didn't see this thread before I posted on your other one...

    The focus of the entire talk and WT study seemed to be on taking in an accurate knowledge of God...but not about knowing or experiencing God. To me, this is huge. This difference affects how one views God and their relationship with Him. Having before experienced the power of God, or the Holy Spirit, I am concerned to have felt that void during my visit at the KH. This difference is what creates that need to do things so God will find you acceptable vs. doing things because God has already found you acceptable. I would have loved to have genuinely praised God during the songs, but I felt as if there was no praise being lifted at all. It was these things that I had the most difficulty with.

    You are very insightful sir, this is exactly right.

    Also, singing in Kingdom Halls is used more as a method of crowd control and a way of breaking up the meeting and giving people a chance to stretch their legs, rather than as a time to actually praise and worship God, as you noticed. Very few JWs take it seriously.

  • Hortensia
    Hortensia
    There is definitely a high amount of self-discipline within the areas of the meeting, although there is little bladder control.

    Had to laugh at this. It's a way of keeping yourself from screaming. When the boredom and stress become almost unbearable you go to the bathroom or take a walk outside around the building, then go back in and try to stay in your seat for the rest of the meeting. You'll notice the young attendants -- always male -- frequently go outside to "check the parking lot."

  • JakeM2012
    JakeM2012

    After personally attending meetings for over 47 years before stopping, I appreciated your fresh perspective of the current meetings.

  • Crazyguy
    Crazyguy

    I wonder if you can remember how many times the Organization was mentioned and how many times God was mentioned compared to Jesus? I'm willing to bet Jesus was mentioned very little. This was my experience before i quit going just a couple months ago.

  • InChristAlone
    InChristAlone

    Crazyguy, actually I did take note of this. Jesus was mentioned four times today. Once in prayer and three times as to how he is our example. In all fairness, the talk was about who Jehovah is, so it would be reasonable to assume that "Jehovah" would dominate this particular conversation. The only time that the organization was mentioned was when the elder read a letter from HQ concerning the international conventions coming up. *I forgot to mention that above...sorry. I am surprised that I didn't hear the words "faithful and discreet slave" today. But like I said, the talk didn't really lend itself to that.

    Thanks for your comments everyone. Bob_NC, I hope to meet you in person one day.

  • LisaRose
    LisaRose

    Your observations are right on. Some nice people who are sincere, some correct things being taught, but overall a lack of.....something. No joy, no emotion, just a diligent effort to do what needs to be done, but no feeling that you are ever good enough. What is wrong becomes ever more apparent the more you attend. The constant bathroom breaks are not due to bladder issues, but just boredom, or frustration at the sheer drudgery of constant meeting attendance and field service requirements. When I was in they had this meeting plus two other meetings on weeknights, one two hours, one for an hour. They have since done away with the one hour meeting. Add to that the field service on Saturday, at the least. As a working mom my life was a treadmill of constant drudgery until I just gave up.

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