jws- I am so sorry for the loss of your dad...I know that feeling like a disappointment for not being a JW is hard to deal with. My parents make me feel that way subliminally. I now think of myself as an agnostic but...IF there is a God, I completely and totally feel that he can see what this cult has done and the pain it's caused. I believe in every part of my being that IF there is a god who cares, you will have your dad again and he WILL be proud of you because you didnt live a lie. I am glad the reception afterward remembered him appropriately...
I think if there is a god he would be loving and accepting and forgiving like Jesus. If there is no caring god then we are all in the same boat so to speak...