First post

by EastCoastMindFree 33 Replies latest jw friends

  • snare&racket

    Wow, you have been so brave to come here, seriously well done.

    Your little kids will forever be greatful for your desicion I am sure. I also left with similar questions and may I suggest some good books to read?

    "The greatest show on Earth" by R Dawkins


    "The lost Christianities"

    One will fill you with facts about science that prove everything ou were told false, the other highlights the farsical nature in which the bible was written. Prepared, compiles and followed in early Christian times.

    Enjoy doing some 'real' study, but be prepared for the inevitable. I think you already know they have been lying about everything...

    snare xxx

  • EastCoastMindFree

    Wow I appreciate all the responses already, truly inspiring. Yes I am fully convinced and have been for some time now that this religion is a cult, I feel robbed of a rich childhood and a college experience that was always downplayed and advised against, so I have anger and sadness that I feel like my whole entire being and mentality has been shaped by this religion and it makes me sick. I do not want my children to feel like this so I have been fading for around 2 years now and elders no longer come by so I am pretty much in the clear as far as thats concerned. @DJS I feel exactly the same about wishing I was never exposed to it because unless someone has experienced it they really have no clue as to what kind of mental slavery it is. I am looking forward to intelligent conversations here and it feels good to vent. :)

  • steve2

    EastCoastMind - celebrate the fact you got out when you did. The saddest thing for anyone would be to realize their birth religion is bullsh*t when they are in their twilight years. What a painfully devastating realization that must be. You are young, your wife is also out, your children are young - imagine if your children were old enough to condemn you for fading - or worse shun you. So, my friend, celebrate your escape - it will help you keep your sense of waste in perspective.

  • Vidqun

    EastCoastMindFree, welcome! Yes, get out and stay out for your children's sake. As a poster on this forum remarked, there is a monster in the congregation but you are not allowed to know who he is (the elders know who he is).

  • ABibleStudent

    Welcome EastCoastMindFree, I'm sorry that you were a JW, but you have the rest of your life to enjoy, be happy, get a better education, and raise your child with morals, instead of indoctrinating them with phobias and being victimized by the WTBTS. By the way why can't you talk to your wife about your feelings if you have both been inactive for 2 years?

    Do you understand the difference between teaching children how to critically think for themselves and to be make moral decisions, instead of learning to follow an exhaustive list of rules that can change with new light? Do you remember how in the Bible Jesus Christ condemned the Pharisees for burdening Jews with an exhaustive list of rules and that he promised the Our Father in Heaven would send the Holy Spirit to his followers? How is the WTBTS any different than the Pharisees?

    I would recommend that you do the following to help you and your wife to overcome your WTBTS's phobias, since both of you are inactive:

    • Post as much as possible on JWN to either vent your frustrations and to ask for help about specific topices. It is better to vent your frustrations on JWN then to JWs and JW apologists.
    • Visit websites such as,, and, and to name a few to research the WTBTS's history and changes in doctrines.
    • Visit Steve Hassan's website to learn more about the BITE control techniques that the WTBTS does use and how to overcome them. If you cannot afford to purchase Steve Hassan's books (i.e., "Combatting Cult Mind Control", "Releasing the Bonds: Empowering People to Think for Themselves", and (his latest book)"Freedom of Mind: Helping Loved Ones Leave Controlling People, Cults and Beliefs"), see if you can either checkout his books at the library or at least watch the following two videos of Steve Hassan at least twice: "Steve Hassan explains SIA method to rescue loved ones from unhealthy situations (2003)" and "Steve Hassan at NYC Ethical Culture Society February 2013.
    • Make more non-JW friends that you and your wife would enjoy spending time with. By the way where do you live? If you live in the USA, I would recommend visiting sites like and using an internet search browser to locate activities where you live that you might enjoy doing. If you need to talk to people face to face about your JW experiences, there are many ex-JW meetup groups across the USA that are listed on
    • If you wife still believes that the WTBTS has the "Truth", start asking her simple questions to help her see what the WTBTS is. Reading Steve Hassan's books and posting on JWN will help you to help your wife.
    • Ask your wife to do fun things with you, to do fun things with non-JWs, and/or to learn about topics that will take a lot of time away from attending WTBTS meetings and reading WTBTS's propaganda. A very time comsuming topic to learn and one that will help you and your wife later in life is to learn about investing. If you lived in the USA, I would recommend going to the TD Ameritrade website and learn how to use ThinkorSwim to learn more about investing.

    Best of wishes of you, your wife, and children fading from the WTBTS. A good start might be to start to celebrate holidays, Christmas, and Birthdays.

    Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,


  • Xanthippe

    Welcome EastCoast

    You're doing the right thing not raising your kids in a crazy cult. It is something people regret for their whole life so well done. Just chill out, you have your wife on your side and your lovely children. You can make a new life with your family. Yes you feel angry for missing out on education but my husband and I used to say there are so many ways to mess up your life, drink, drugs, bad relationships, being stupid with money - we just did it with a cult. Actually we were born-ins like you so not much choice, but we moved on and had a great life and you will too.

  • Hortensia

    As someone who was raised in the wtbts, I say good for you getting your kids out of it. I hope your wife is on board with fading. It can be more difficult if she is a staunch JW. But still, you're the head of the family according to the wtbts, you could forbid her to take them to the KH I suppose.

  • happy@last
    [email protected]

    Welcome, I'm pleased your children are young, mine are early teens and it's so tough especially as their mother is still a JW. WTBTS take away freedom of choice, for your kids follow your instinct.

  • still thinking
    still thinking


  • self

    I think you are on the road to a real life and thank God your children are young and you have your wife o your side because if things were different between you and your wife you would lose them for sure, I hate to say it but it's true.

    My family have been torn apart by the JWs and I nearly lost my son because of it. My sister and her family are still JWs and I have to be so careful what I say because I know if I offent or questain the JWs I shall lose my sister.

    So I feel that this is your time so take the next step before it's too late and enjoy your lifes together without the pressure that comes with being a JW. Also, God is love and all about love so pray to him for guidence and he will help you and be with you all, always.

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