If I went back, I would be compelled to take back all the guilt, self-loathing, fear and feelings of never being good enough for their God.
Nothing could be worse than that to once-again be one of the "happiest people on earth."
Farkel
Stuff You Would Lose If You Went Back
by Nosferatu 32 Replies latest jw friends
-
-
insearchoftruth4
First I would lose my cool, my dog would probably runaway, my friends and family who exited would get sick. My piece of mind--gone---The thought of it gives me the runs....insot4
-
WTWizard
Where to start. First, I would find my Christmas decorations taking so much space in the rubbish that the landfills would be full. True, my light bill might drop ever so slightly, but it is worth the few toilet papers to see all those LED lights going.
Along with that, I would have to lose much of the music I got. I got plenty of "bad" songs, including plenty of rap. Even music from the 1970s and 1980s would be censored, since there is a lot of "heavy metal" and "obscene music". They would probably go through every CD I have and declare everything bad if it has just one bad song in the whole discography. Songs by Elton John, who has a wide variety of music going from 1969 through the present? If they find just one bad one (Saturday Night's Alright for Fighting, for instance), it's all bad--including music from the 1990s where he has gotten much softer.
The videos, too. Much of which I downloaded from YouTube (not copyrighted--amateur videos posted on YouTube) and burned to DVD. Some of that content includes porn (though not the majority), Pokemon walkthroughs, reviews of various classic video games from the 1980s, birthday and Christmas parties, Satanic sermons, and material both for and against missionary work (I downloaded that just so I could see what idiots people are for going to Nigeria to spread xian rubbish). They would want all of that in the rubbish, especially since there is no way of knowing a porn or Christmas clip is between reviews of flashlights or LED light bulbs.
And, whatever work I am trying to do in spiritual Satanism (to prepare so I won't be materially poor in the next life) would be lost. There are workings designed to help draw wealth into your life, and I don't need to hear poverty being extolled (which is orders of magnitude worse than the "I will try it but it won't work" attitude). How many times I have heard those idiots selling out and pious-sneering, living poor, yet feeling blessed because they are pious-sneering. Often with a few studies at the a$$embly thrown in for good measure, and sometimes even one being baptized today (never knowing which one). If this isn't a sure way to program people's souls for poverty and destitution, I don't know what is. I would estimate that, if just one person hollered "You IDIOT!" and started hissing and booing them off the platform, it would save everyone on average a year's worth of wages from this destructive programming.
Of course, I would lose most of my free time. If they want me out pious-sneering, they could make me rush home from work, change, go to where they meet for field circus, and waste the morning and most of the afternoon in field circus. Then I would have to attend boasting sessions. This could cost me my health, and as with money, it is possible to program one's soul to think of sickness as a virtue and draw sickness in by extolling those who sacrificed their health "for the kingdumb". Again, this is worse than "I am sick and there is no hope of healing". When you feel virtuous in suffering, to get better you lose that virtue (and to them, salvation)--and that programs the soul to fight to stay poor and/or sick.
Not to mention, if the hounders got too picky, I could lose much of my advanced preparations for hardships ahead. They could take my silver away, leaving me defenseless against the dollar becoming toilet paper. They could take my LED light bulbs away (too materialistic), so I would not be ready for electric rates to go up or shortages to happen. They could take my lanterns, flashlights, and batteries/chargers (again, too materialistic plus "Trust in Jehovah"), leaving me open to blackouts that now cause more hardship than minor nuisance. They take away my flashlight in field circus, and I get on a call where there is a stairwell and the light bulb therein blows, a serious fall down the stairs could result. Again, any health or injury problems would be "for joke-hova" and thus extolled.
-
flipper
One of a few reasons ( among many reasons ) I would NEVER go back is I'd lose my freedom of mind, my freedom of movement, and freedom to be my authentic, natural self. I will NEVER hand over the ownership of myself EVER again to anybody, corporate, organization, or human. I'm no slave, nor will I EVER be. I have enjoyed playing music, writing songs, performing at open mikes a couple times a month now. You think I'd trade THAT for going to mind indoctrinating meetings ? Not a snowball chance in hell. Peace out, mr. Flipper
-
mostlydead
My mind....which has only just now started making a recovery.
-
Bella15
Oh LORD, I would be denying JESUS as my ONLY Lord and Savior ..., I would lose the personal relationship I have with my Heavenly Father, my position as Daughter of the Most High GOD ... not even in my wildest dreams I would to back ... just to think about makes me shiver {{{{{{{{ ... wow talking about a nightmare ...
-
redvip2000
There is such joy in my life knowing that when i leave work on tuesdays and thursdays, i know i'm going home to have a nice meal and entertain myself doing whatever i want without worrying about eating quickly and putting the monkey suit on, to go sit at a useless meeting.
There are very few things that i hated more than getting up early on Sundays to go sell magazines to strangers for free and get door slammed in my face. Waking up on sunday and thinking "i can just stay in bed" is priceless.
Yes i miss some of the people, but i'm not about to sell my brain to be able to associate with them.
-
Magwitch
- The first thing to go would be (as JeffT said) my sobriety!
- Frequent trips to Vegas to play Roulette
- My occasional brownie
- I suppose I would not be able to have my single male house mate anymore
- My out of town weekend trips to OSU and CU college football games.
So to sum it up....No gambling, no sex, no pot, not football fun, actually no fun ever, but I can become a drunk again. Wow! tough decision - What to do?
-
sd-7
A lot of books (featuring magic or sex [or both, in 'A Song of Ice and Fire') and (R-rated or magical) movies. Sleep. Patience. What little freedom I currently have. The ability to look skeptical when an absurd teaching is explained at a meeting. The ability to say Jesus too much. My beard. My work schedule. Girl-on-girl Internet action (not that I'm into that sort of thing, of course...but I would lose the option, mostly because I'm not good at lying about stuff...). The ability to post on the Internet about JW stuff, as surely someone would probably find out about sd-7 sooner or later. An excuse to not have to deal with my older brother and my mom. An excuse to not have to deal with JWs from my old congregation. 'Self-abuse'. Attending birthday luncheons at work. The option to attend a holiday party at work (I usually don't 'cause I'm not good at socializing).
Honestly, that's about it. The self-loathing has pretty much remained at a fairly constant level for whatever the current reason happened to be, with occasional dips into madness. So that probably wouldn't change too much, maybe a slight increase and then a leveling off with time as my brains turned more into fudge.
--sd-7
-
Rocky_Girl
myself...
And just when I was starting to like that bitch :)