^^ What Phizzy said was just like me. I too was an elder with doubts about the teaching of the WTBTS, when I worked it out for myself that I had been lied to I literally had a breakdown, came off being an elder and never went back. The last public talk I gave was not from the outline, and I knew it would be the last time I'd be on a KH platform. the following week I went to a DC, spent the whole time helping in parking and saw that there is no identifying mark of love among the witnesses.
I am however an all or nothing person, I cannot do anything half hearted.