Growing up as a JW was a form of mental abuse for me

by Miss Fitt 47 Replies latest watchtower child-abuse

  • LisaRose

    Civics00, you are on the right path, don't give up. I struggled with these same issues, but it does get easier as you get older, we introverts are often late bloomers. I read a book called "Quiet, The Power of introverts in a World that can't stop Talking" It makes the case that extroverts are mire likely they get their ideas accepted, introverts are more likely to have better ideas, because we think things through better. You should check it it. I have it on Kindle if anyone is interested.

    I may not have 300 Facebook friends, but I cherish and enjoy the ones I do have, and I greatly enjoy my solitude, and don't function well if I have to be around people too much. After years at the cube farm, I am lucky to have a small business that I do out of my home, which is perfect for me.

  • bigmac

    aah--ive seen the light!!--i was confused---theres a miss fit--as well as a miss fitt.

  • Miss Fitt
    Miss Fitt

    Bigmac, you are right. It's a bit confusing I know. I wonder whether I should rejoin the board with another name.

  • AnnOMaly

    Miss Fitt,

    Here's another shy, self-conscious misfit kid who neither integrated at school properly nor at my troubled KH. Bullied by intimidation, humiliation and name-calling - rarely physical violence. Sometimes even bullied by JW kids who went to the same school! Lots of anxiety, depression. Little to no confidence. I didn't get a tight chest but my stomach always had knots and I was often ill. I hated having to make a stand by staying out of certain activities which, even by modern JW standards, would have been conscience matters and/or harmless. Always scared of doing something 'wrong.' A 'worldly' friend made high school bearable yet I only really blossomed in the last 18 months or so of being there.

    Over the years I have grown in confidence, although I am still quite shy and full of self-doubt. I’m a bit of a loner and I hate being the centre of attention. I’ve never felt ‘good enough’ even when I’ve excelled. People have told me that I am clever, kind, sweet, caring, generous, and an all round lovely person. I never quite believe them. I know that my childhood experiences have caused this.

    Same here. There's a part of me that wants recognition for achievements but at the same time cannot take compliments well because, as it was drummed into me, 'we can't develop a big head, can we?' - 'don't think more of yourself than you should,' 'we're all good-for-nothing slaves,' 'what I have done is what I ought to have done,' etc. I also think we loners are that way because we find it difficult to get close to people - if we get too close, we're liable to get hurt and we don't want to be hurt. It takes a long time to develop trust.

    My and my husband's family histories would occupy a whole psychologists' conference, I think.

  • 144001

    I can totaly relate, Miss Fitt.

    For me, the Watchtower made me a very angry young teenager/man that facilitated some pretty wild and dangerous situations. Some of that anger remains; I've never been able to completely rid myself of it, despite making a real effort to do so, including many dollars spent on counseling. I wish I could completely rid myself of that anger, but I realize that I probably never will eliminate it entirely. While I have used the anger for positive things, such as achieving academic and professional success, it's not a positive thing, and at times, it can be very depressing.

    I have forgiven my parents for their poor judgment, but I have a warning for other parents who think it's ok to raise your children in accordance with the teachings of the WTBTS. Think carefully before subjecting your children to this extremely damaging lifestyle. You may lose your children forever because of your poor judgment. I personally have no respect for JWs who subject their children to this lifestyle. You are abusing your kids if you are raising them as Jehovah's Witnesses. Ignorance is no excuse.

    It's nice that my parents, and many other JW parents got to live normal lives as children, and sad that they didn't/don't allow their own kids to have normal childhoods.

  • Heartofaboy

    Oh Miss Fitt, as I read this topic the excrutiating awkwardness of being a JEHOVAH'S WITNESS at school has just come flooding back to me.

    I empathise completely with you.

    I was the youngest & smallest boy in the class, shy, very sensitive & 'artisitic' by nature so I was on a hiding to nothing to start with but to be a JEHOVAH'S WITNESS as well was just the cherry on the cake for being picked on.

    I did have 'friends' at school but I often endured times when even they would exclude me & make me feel worthless.

    School was far from enjoyable.

    The pressure the borg brought to bear on children to 'witness' to their schoolmates felt like a heavy load as I knew I wasn't up to it.

    I did try but it was just awful.......awful, nothing like the so called Watchtower experiences where the teacher wants JW books for the whole class.

    Did you feel as a child developing in to a young person, that you weren't allowed to have an opinionon on any subject other than the one sanctioned by the Watchtower?

    I still find it difficult to feel my opinion on anything is valid & I put it down to the way the JW childhood is so profoundly restrictive & doesn't allow the individual to mature on many levels.

    Glad you are here with us.


  • sarahsmile

    We were not suppose to fit in.

    I think my mom became a JW because what it offered. No holidays,wordly friends could not come into the house,no wordly friends, no sports, no games, one school dance but never ask to go again, do not associate with wordly children during school. Unfortunately, it was during the same time when hugging children spoils them, no expression of love was ever given to make us stronger. Siblings only learned to express there love by actions not words, not one expression of love was ever taught. we did not smile a lot but did laugh and make fun of each other. I just telling how it really was! mental and emotional abuse big time.

    I bet you can find a Wt teaching for all of the above.

    As a result my parents are dead and my siblings are burned out. Stressed out and none of us would ever express any kind of feelings for each other.I really do not think we like each other. At this point in our lives why bother, but we all agree what a crazy religion.

    We all wonder what would life be with out the JWs.

    My older siblings remembered it was better, we did Christmas and had family birthday parties, and went to all of our cousins birthday parties. we hugged one another. But when we became JWs mom would argue doctrines and preach to other family members,so she thought it better to not have worldly influence on her children. She moved us all away. Basically she caused family members to not like us because of her so called preaching. School was nothing but isolation.

    Mental and emotional abuse!

  • losingit

    After reading some of these posts, I'm surprised that there doesn't seem to be a difference between having a parent that was a convert versus havng both parents born-in. It seems like children under both households suffered equally.

  • biometrics

    Torture: Going in the field service with brother X. Brother X sees a group of boys my age and proceeds to approach them. Winding down his car window, he asks if they go to the same school as me.

    Enough said.

  • EmptyInside

    I can totally relate. I also was shy and never fit in anywhere.

    It's part of my personality to be quiet until I really get to know someone. It seems that teachers,parents,and others seem to want to force introverts to be something they are not.

    I was,and still am more of a daydreamer. And I was more interested in the arts.

    It seems those that are more creative and artistic never really fit in the Watchtower.

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