Thank you for sharing this experience.
I am also the child of an alcoholic, and a JW, to boot. To list all the resultant maladys that came from such an upbringing is a book in itself.
I remember the first time I was shown the list of characteristics of ACoA's, it was like having the wind knocked out of me. I just couldn't believe that there were "others". I went to ACA meetings for a while and found that they helped me begin to heal. However, I'm not John Bradshaw fan. Yet, I know that he has helped many.
Even though as elders you and your partner were not "trained" to council this woman, the geniune love and concern shines brightly in the words so gently expressed to her. Those type of gestures in themselves can, and seems to be in this instance, of great comfort.
Look forward to number 2.