Gross Naughty Jokes! PLEASE READ!!

by d0rkyd00d 2 Replies latest social humour

  • d0rkyd00d

    A man sat at a local bar savoring a double martini
    when an attractive woman sat down next to him.
    The bartender served her a glass of vodka and orange
    juice. The man turned to her and said, "This is a special
    day. I'm celebrating." "What a coincidence. I'm
    celebrating too," she replied, clinking glasses with
    him. "What are you celebrating?" she asked. "As it
    happens, I'm a chicken farmer, and for years all my
    hens were infertile, but today they're finally fertile."
    "What a coincidence", she said. "For years my husband
    and I have been trying to have a child. Today my
    gynecologist told me I'm pregnant! How did your
    chickens become fertile?" she asked. "Oh, I switched
    cocks," he replied. "What a coincidence......." she said.


    The priest in a small Irish village was very fond of the chicken he kept in the hen house out the back of the parish manse. He had a cock rooster and about ten hens. One Saturday night the cock rooster was missing and as that was the time he suspected cock fights occurred in the village he decided to do something about it at church the next morning.
    At Mass, he asked the congregation, "Has anybody got a cock?"
    All the men stood up.
    "No no" he said. "That wasn't what I meant. Has anybody seen a cock?"
    All the women stood up.
    "No no" he said. "That wasn't what I meant. Has anybody seen a cock that doesn't belong to them."
    Half the women stood up.
    "No no" he said "That wasn't what I meant. Has anybody seen my cock?"
    All the nuns stood up.


    A farmer wanted to have his hens serviced, so he went to the market looking for a rooster. He was hoping he could get a special rooster and told this to the market vendor.

    The vendor replied: "I have just the rooster for you. Bingo, here is the horniest rooster you will ever see!"

    So the farmer bought Bingo and took him back to the farm. Before setting him loose in the hen house, though, he gave Bingo a little pep talk: "Bingo," he said, "I'm counting on you to do your stuff." And with that, He strutted into the hen house.

    Bingo was as fast as he was furious, mounting each hen like a thunderbolt. There was much squawking and many feathers flying, till he had finished having his way with each hen. But, Bingo didn't stop there.

    He went into the barn and mounted all of the horses, one by one, and still at the same frantic pace.

    Then he went to the pig house, where he did the same.

    The farmer, watching all of this with disbelief cried out, "Stop, BiNgO! You'll kill yourself!" But he continued, seeking out each farm animal in the same manner.

    Well, the next morning, the farmer looked out and saw Bingo lying there on his lawn. His legs were up in the air, his eyes rolled back, and his long tongue hanging out. A buzzard was already circling above him.

    The farmer walked up to Bingo saying, "Oh you poor thing, look what you did, you've gone and killed yourself. I warned you, little buddy."

    "Shhhhhhh," BIngo whispered, "The buzzard's getting closer."

  • VioletAnai

    hahahahahahahahahahahaha thank you for the cheer up!!!!!

    It would seem you have a preoccupation with fouls however!

    It was a joke! And you fell for it like the fascists you are! - Rick - The Young Ones

  • Elsewhere

    Such foul jokes!!!

    "As every one knows, there are mistakes in the Bible" - The Watchtower, April 15, 1928, p. 126
    Believe in yourself, not mythology.
    <x ><

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