When You Were A Witness Did You Tattle? Snoop?

by OneStepOut93 17 Replies latest jw experiences

  • OneStepOut93
    OneStepOut93

    Were you one of the witnesses that tattled and tried to find people doing "wrong"?

    Or did you ever tattle on someone and regretted it later? Would you take it back?

  • Kojack57
    Kojack57

    Never felt the need to tell on anyone. Even as an elder I would just tell them to Narc on themselves.

    Don't have any respect for anyone who was a Narc.

    But I understand it was under the influence of brainwashing and fear that they would share in their sins if they didn't.

    One brother who was a former Cop would have you confide in him as if he gave a Damn and then he would run like HELL to the elders.

    Worthless scum bag of a man or a brother.

  • OneEyedJack
    OneEyedJack

    No, but I have gotten the phone call that someone else was "so sorry but i just had to tell them".

    On at least two occasions, I have been approached by a well meaning J-dub who told me to turn myself in for one thing or another. I would just go back to them a week or so later and tell them that I talked to the elders and they were very understanding and helpful and were going to work with me. Of course I had never talked to the elders, I was no dummy, but they always believed it and never brought it up again!

  • SophieG
    SophieG

    No and no!

    i had a friend once who was about to confide in me and I stopped her because I did not want to know! To this day I still don't know. She and the guy she eventually married ended up on reporoof though. I think I'm a good confidant but I didn't feel it would be my place to tell the elders if she chickened out.

    not one to meddle in folks business.

  • sarahsmile
    sarahsmile

    Never did.

  • DogGone
    DogGone

    Yes, I tattled on myself a number of times. Sadly, one of those accidentally involved another. It may be worth telling the story.

    I was a teenager - let's say 15. Camping with another JW male friend and some touching occured- massaging - clothing was on - just horny youth stuff. Of course, I felt terrible, guilty, worthy of death. It took a few months to confess, but I did. It was a big deal trying to figure out whether this was Pornea or Loose Conduct. My, how bloody important that distinction was. PAINFUL. I was asked to call my friend in the other city and tell him he had to talk to the elders. Can you imagine! Well, after a few days I sucked it up and called.... ring ring... spoke with the dad, friend wasn't home. Never tried again. Elders never asked. Then the CO came to town and a meeting was held with me. I guess it was the Elder's job to contact the guilty party - oops. So I gave up the name when asked.

    Well, that was it for the friendship. Next convention we passed in the hallway and he made a show of being really nice and saying hi; I did the same. His family scowled and pulled him away.

    Hope he is doing well. What should have been just adolescent exporation was a shameful semi-public spectacle.

  • sd-7
    sd-7

    No. Even as a full believer, I did not agree with the idea of spying on each other or ratting each other out. I figured, if we're all Christians here, it's not up to me to handle confessing on someone's behalf--they need to own their own decisions. If a person committed a crime, that's one thing. But I see a JW painting a church or eating a birthday cake, I'm just going to pretend I didn't see it....

    --sd-7

  • Julia Orwell
    Julia Orwell

    If I thought someone was doing something wrong, I'd approach them directly about it like the bible says rather than run to the elders. After all, wasn't that what we were supposed to do? I hated, just hated it when I got counseled or back roomed by the elders when no one had come to me about it first, especially when heaps of people complained th the elders when me and my soon-to-be husband hung around without a,chaperone (I was 30 and he was 40, divorced) or when people complained to the elders about my Facebook page. I said to one elder when he jumped me about Facebook, 'these people should be coming to me about it, not you. If anyone comes to you, tell em to talk to me about it first rather than gossiping behind my back.' And get this, he told me the reason they didn't come to me was because they were scared of me! Bloody pussies!

  • finallysomepride
    finallysomepride

    only on my brothers to our parentsLOL

    no I never tattled on any bro/sisters mostly it was none of my business

  • SophieG
    SophieG

    See…it‘s the double standard that Julia mentions that chaps my hide. Those offended are supposed to come to you first, instead of gossiping and then telling the elder. The offender being “afraid” of you is a cop out, and what the elder should have done was REDIRECT the offender to you, to personally address the issue.

    As for telling on myself..pfft… If I chose to do something it was directly between me and Jehovah and never once did it occur to me to run to the brothers. I never committed a grave sin, but I always felt what I decided to do was between me and Jah. Guess I missed the memo that the elders/GB were my middleman confessors.

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