Part 3: My mother continues to try to ruin me (page 4)

EmptyInside

I agree with nugget here. I think you need some distance from yourself and your mother. She's needs time to calm down,and you need time to figure things out,and just a break from her.

My mother wasn't this extreme,but she really tried to put the guilt trip on me,saying she just wanted to die. And then,she said,some people are just selfish,I know she was speaking about me. I just ignored her.

But,I did try to reason with her from my point of view. I was miserable being in this religion,and how is it selfish of me to just want to live my life.

I think your mother needs time. Hopefully,she will calm down. At the very least,I wouldn't discuss doctrine or the religion at all with her. You may have been thinking of leaving for quite some time now. But,this is all new to her,and she needs some time for it to sink in.

Take this time to enjoy your wife and kids.

Julia Orwell

Sounds like your mum really cares for you and is expressing herself in the only way,she knows how, that is, with the Wt's words. She sounds like a nice person but who she really is has been lost under decades of mind control. She has replaced her identity for the most part with the wt identity. I see her as a person who's been seriously misled and not at all a bad person. I actually feel for her.

I also feel for you, Soso. I can't imagine what you're going through and have no advice to give. Know that I care though and please don't stop keeping us up to date and thereby receiving support from us.

Xox Julia

steve2

Just to add a further thought (hopefully to normalize the ways of our mothers):

They don't need to belong to a strict religious group to perfect the art of emotional blackmail - but it sure helps!

My mother's side of her extended family have Jewish connections and those family members love to make light-hearted fun of their "Jewish" mothers who, upon setting eyes on their adult children for the first time in months (children working overseas), will exclaim:

"And when will I see you again?! Your poor mother's been beside herself with worry since you've been gone. And you don't write so much or call anymore!" All within the first minute or so of meeting up!

Woody Allen also specialized in portraying his own mother as the Queen of Emotional Blackmail.

Humor doesn't always take away the pain, but it allows some persective other than sinister and cultic motives.

Oubliette

sosoconfused's mom: I can't believe you would do this to us!!!

You could respond, "And I can believe you both did and are still doing this to us!"

Nah, she wouldn't get it.

Remember, she's in a highly manipulative, mind-control cult.

The "theology" of the WTBTS has stolen her mind and her soul.

She has been convinced (without even realizing it) that the WTBTS is God and to disobey or leave the organization is the same as to be disobedient to God.

It's a mind-fuck of the highest order.

BTW, I once used that term, mind-fuck, with a psychologist that was working with me and one of my children post my exit from the organization. (He has a PhD in clinical psychology and specializes in alienation and estrangement issues, particularly those arising from difficult divorces).

I said, "I'm sure there's a more clinical term for that than 'mind-fuck.'"

He said, "No. That works!"

cha ching

As a mom, I know how she feels....

When my son stopped saying "Amen" to prayers, it was all I could do to keep going, but I still loved him. I still talked to him, I cried every day... I cared about him.

What is it that "you have done"? That is the question?

I like to ask, "Did I disfellowship people for taking a liver transplant, then change the policy a month later?"

"Did I write a book that told people the end would come before the end of this century, and it didn't?"

"Did I tell people not to get an education, because so little time was left they would not be able to use it?"

"Did I refuse to change the pedophile policy?"

"Am I the person that had to pay out millions of dollars in court fees because of not caring "enough about the little ones?"

Then remind her that that is exactly what the Society has done, and she is holding you to a higher standard than she holds her trusted leaders.

If she can hang up the phone on YOU for simply 'not going to the meetings,' because you are disturbed by these dilemnas, will she hang up the phone on the men that caused them?

Unlearn

your moms and my moms need to get a room and cry into each others bible-based-publications...

NeverKnew

Steve2 says

They don't need to belong to a strict religious group to perfect the art of emotional blackmail...

Do you know my non-JW mother? Heck, I wish I had an influence to blame. *sigh*

I'm sorry, Soso... I wish I had something better to offer but Steve is right. Mom's are very adept in these techniques... I think they get their licenses at their own children's birth. Grandmothers are certified professionals.

Part 3: My mother continues to try to ruin me