I just want a divorce!

by bornfree123 68 Replies latest social relationships

  • bornfree123
    bornfree123

    Hi there, this is my first post, but i've been buzzing around this site for years.

    I got married at 18, hubby was 20, I was a regular pioneer and we were talking about serving in bethel. Fast forward - i left in 2004 after a 5 year battle with my conscience, family and friends who kept insisting that i was just "weak and needed to have another bible study". However hubby and I stayed together although it was kinda on the understanding that we would just not talk about it. Things eventually came to a head in 2011 when he announced that it was all too much and he walked out.

    Now that we've been separated for 2 years I recently texted him (he won't speak to me) to say that I am petitioning for divorce and it would be less painful and costly if we were just to agree to a divorce. He immediately replied to say that he wouldn't be going along with an "unscriptual divorce" (hardly scriptual to leave your family but hey ho).

    This leads to my question: Is this a JW thing or is he just being pig-headed? I understand of course that he won't be able to remarry, but is he not ALLOWED to agree to the 2 year separation route or is it more of a conscience thing?

    Ive decided to apply under unreasonable behaviour, which he will contest but I don't really have any other option.

    Any replies would be gratefully received.

    BF

  • Truth seeker 674
    Truth seeker 674

    Born free you were a regular pioneer I think you should know what is and is not a JW thing without having to ask. Its nice that you posted here and welcome. As for legal advice I will defer that to others.

  • ?evrything
    ?evrything

    Im sure its a combo of being a JW and being pig-headed. He is doin exactly what he is instructed to do.

  • Quandry
    Quandry

    I don't know the legal ramifications of your situation, but wanted to welcome you to the forum.

    It is too bad that JWs encourage marriage so young. I hope that you are finally able to start reaching some goals that you've always wanted but could not because of your circumstances.

  • Truth seeker 674
    Truth seeker 674

    Probably

  • Yan Bibiyan
    Yan Bibiyan

    Hi and welcome.

    Depending on your local jurisdiction (no fault), you may be able to just file and be done with it quite easy. It looks like he abandoned you.

    Court won't give a rats ass about "scriptual" grounds...Talk to a local divorce attorney and see if you can use the abandonment route.

    Sorry that you have to go through this....and good luck!

    -Yan

  • bornfree123
    bornfree123

    Thank you for your comments and the welcome.

    Truthseeker - believe it or not as an 18 year old, just married, regular pioneer I had no idea about the instricacies of divorce, but thank you for the welcome.

  • Truth seeker 674
    Truth seeker 674

    Born free my heart goes out to you. Do you have a non JW freind that you can talk to? Why will he not talk to you? Are you "on reproof" or something or is it just personal between the two of you? What part of the world do you live in?

  • Giordano
    Giordano

    Truth seeker if she knew the answer why would she ask the question? Apparently you don't know the answer. I pioneered for 4 years and I don't know the answer. Maybe because the WT flip flops so much?

    Welcome bornfree! The WT reasoning is nonsense. Just proceed with your attorney and get free of this dunce.

  • jgnat
    jgnat

    It sounds like he is going to go the painful route. That means an expensive divorce, dragged out. A veteran divorce lawyer told me that divorces like this can take years to settle until the opposing party reconciles themselves to the situation. Then it can resolve fairly quickly and cheaply.

    As has already been mentioned, the secular courts do not care about a so-called "unscriptural divorce". Forge ahead as best you can and know that as you are no longer bound by the Watchtower rules, this mostly hurts him. He can't remarry. Forever, it sounds like. Unless he goes ahead and fornicates, gets DF'd and reinstated.

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