Next Of Kin - your JW family will REFUSE BLOOD if you need it...

by talesin 27 Replies latest jw friends

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  talesin

  Simon's thread about making a will reminded me of this issue, and the fact that many of you may not have given it much thought.

  This is something that occurred to me many years ago - and I have a good friend listed as my Next of Kin (NOK).

  A few years ago, I had a situation where I was hemmorhaging, not capable of giving consent because I was heavily sedated, and the permission had to be signed. My life-partner was my NOK, so no problem. As it turned out, I didn't need a transfusion, but it was touch-and-go for a while.

  Nowadays, at least in Canada, doctors only transfuse blood if you *really* need it ... but in case of emergency, you never know. Your life could be at risk.

  Your NOK does *not* have to be related, and can even live in another country (think of foreign students, for example) ... so you may want to ensure that your NOK will respect your wishes about blood transfusions.

  xo

  tal
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  Xanthippe

  Thanks for this Talesin I've wondered about this since my husband died but I couldn't find a definitive answer on line about it. My daughter is now eighteen does she automatically become my NOK now do you happen to know - my parents are dead? My siblings are still JW so I have worried about this but I had a feeling that you could choose your NOK.
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  Justitia Themis

  My daughter is now eighteen does she automatically become my NOK now do you happen to know - my parents are dead?

  Probably. In the United States, these are usually controlled by informed consent statutes. You can do a Google search for "medical informed consent" for your state's statute.

  Here is an example of one:

  http://apps.leg.wa.gov/rcw/default.aspx?cite=7.70.065

  Edited to add: The statute is the default hierarchy unless you 'contract' out of it. For example, I recently removed my husband as my statutory 'decider' by executing a Power of Attorney in favor of my two adult daughters.
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  Violia

  A sibling listed a jws elder instead of me b/c they assumed I'd force blood on them. They are so wrong- if they want to die I won't stop them. They can now call the elders for family matters too b/c I resigned as a sibling after this. They even had the doctor talk to the elder the day they had surgery. . I stayed all day of the surgery and went to their place to help. I will never lift another finger.
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  Scully

  Please make sure you have a discussion with your NOK (Next of Kin) or PoA-HC (Power of Attorney for Health Care) before just assigning that role to them. Talk about your wishes regarding blood transfusions and about organ donation. Also discuss the lengths you want the health care team to go to in the event that you will not survive the situation.

  This is not a pleasant discussion. It can be very emotional, so make sure you set aside the time for it, and have the conversation with a clear mind. If they aren't aware of the JW-related issues with JW people who will most definitely assume that they have the right to be your NOK over the person of your selection and could make things difficult for your Person, they need to know this stuff - it's extremely important.

  Writing a will is something that I procrastinate on, although I know it's something that needs doing.
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  Shador

  Please make sure you have a discussion with your NOK (Next of Kin) or PoA-HC (Power of Attorney for Health Care)

  So, where would I get a PoA-HC form that wasn't from WTBT$?
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  Scully

  So, where would I get a PoA-HC form that wasn't from WTBT$?

  Google has lots of sites to choose from:

  For residents of Ontario, Canada: http://www.attorneygeneral.jus.gov.on.ca/english/family/pgt/poa.pdf

  http://www.virtual-law.com/index.php/estate/personal_care_and_medical_decisions/
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  Justitia Themis

  Here is one for South Carolina. http://aging.sc.gov/SiteCollectionDocuments/S/SCHealthCarePowerOfAttorney.pdf The South Carolina Department of Health has a Living Will form posted online also.
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  Shador

  Thanks, Justitia.

  Wow. So much more in-depth than that little piece of wallet debris.
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  Justitia Themis

  Please don't let the length dissuade you.

  You can always just check the box that gives your POA full discretion. One thing research is showing is that many people don't complete the more detailed forms because they are afraid that they will change their mind over the years. As a result, many states are shortening their forms to one to two pages to increase participation.

  If you designate a POA and don't restrict their actions, then all you have to do is update them on your wishes should they change.