exJW Psychology 103--Let's Reconsider "Confidentiality"

by Billy the Ex-Bethelite 25 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  problemaddict

  Billy you referred to this thread from another more recent post but the story is one I hadn't read before.

  I actually do have a story of throwing "confidentiality" back at them even though I had not really considered it before.

  The short story is that what had gotten me in trouble was a conversation with friends about the overlapping generation teaching. One of the people there wasn't aclose friend, and it turns out, was stumbled. (he was the only other person there appointed). He called the elders in my hall who for other reasons already had me on their radar.

  Essentially they printed out a bunch of things about apostacy, called me into a back room to ask my views on a host of subjects. I answered them well, and knew what they were trying to do. They told me "people" had told them concerning things about me. I asked who. They declined to tell me. I told them there can be no accusation without names. They shared the one name. I said...."that is person, you said people. Sounds to me like someone was stumbled and I need to make amends with them in order not to lose my brother, but it also appears that you men encouraged this person to circumvent Matthew 18. Why would you knowingly do that, and then try to keep the issue of him being stumbled a secret? This doesn't make sense at all. i have to question your brothers reasoning on the scriptural principles here."

  Yeah THAT went over well. It was great to see the panic.

  They then touted out another name. When they mentioned this other person, i immediately knew I had them. I actually laughed when they mentioned him. they looked at each other, and knew they screwed up. I called him from the room, and they were telling me to hang up. I explained "you all be quiet, because I think you know how much you just screwed up". Well he didn't pick up. But I spoke to this person (a friend of mine still today), and he agreed to put in writing that he had never said anything about me being negative against the elder body etc..., which he did.

  That letter went to the branch. The elders here were local heavies, so they were ridiculously embarrased. They eventually removed the person THEY had dragged into this, under false pretenses. I explained my removal and the situation to literally anyone and everyone.

  I was pretty much gone by then, but safe to say neither one of these guys reputations have recovered, even though since I am an inactive persona non grata, I don't have the sway I once had.

  It was deflating to them to have their "power" taken away, by me exercising basic rights I never even considered I had at one point. So your story here reminded me of this.
• 

  JWdaughter

  Why can't we simply invoke the one or more witnesses thing when they drag us into kangaroo courts and tell them that they should not be speaking to me before my accusers have spoken to me?? Otherwise there is no cause for any JC, even by their own standards.

  I was just a kid, but the only person I directed my questions to was my book study lady, a pioneer, who could not answer them. So she went to the elders. Who, rather than even trying, just directed me to trust the organization (blah blah blah). I said you didn't answer the questions. I don't accept that response and I was DA'd . I had no intent of going public or starting a campaign, I simply wouldn't aquiece to their (stupid) excuses and agree to stop asking questions.
• 

  Billy the Ex-Bethelite

  problemaddict, Elders like that expect that anyone they target should cower in fear and not dare to speak up for themselves. And while elders are eager to be blabbermouths, they expect complete control of the information as they fleece the sheeple. They were windbags... you were the needle. Very well handled on your part, I must say.

  JWdaughter, The elders will pick and choose whatever reasoning they want in order to do whatever they want. These "accusers" have no interest in doing what is right, or even what is scriptural. Typically, they are the type that want to bring others down in order to bring themselves up.
• 

  BucketShopBill

  What you did is classic because the Watchtower's only power is people keeping quite and not asking "why" for fear of being labled a "Korah".

  The majority of charges brought up against perceived sinners are often the “invisible stumbled friends” and once you ask to apply Matthew 18, almost all your charges disappear. As you dig deeper seeking the truth about your personal situation, you discover the source of all the lies is one elder or his wife. One of the best-selling books is currently about “The Power of Silence” and how to apply this in every aspect of your life. If only every JW used your method! If only the accused publishers knew their rights and the power of using Matthew 18 to get to the root of false accusations. The truth and sources would almost always end up being the same elders and elder’s wives who have nothing better to do than pry in your life, fault finders and liars known as the Diotrephes Class. The issue of mental illness in the Watchtower Society is huge, I get sick of elders that claim they are just like "psychiatrist, psychologist, accountants, doctors, professionals of all sorts" because most are making less than $10 a hour and have filed bankruptcy three times. One of the elders that removed and judged a fellow JWN'er as Apostate has filed BK three times over the last twelve years and tells the friends he can help them sort their money problems! This guy was praising Obama Care because he has no health insurance, strange, how many details are best left unspoken, if he had shut his mouth by using "The Power of Silence", I would not know any of this information.

  I wrote something to the church; but Diotrephes, who loves to be first among them, does not accept what we say. 10For this reason, if I come, I will call attention to his deeds which he does, unjustly accusing us with wicked words; and not satisfied with this, he himself does not receive the brethren, either, and he forbids those who desire to do so and puts them out of the church 3 John 9
• 

  cha ching

  “Remember not only to say the right thing in the right place, but far more difficult still, to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.”
  ― Benjamin Franklin
• 

  3rdgen

  Billy, thanks for referring to this thread on another one. I had missed it. Hubby and I agree that  the confidentiality mandate is designed for the protection of the elders. Why else would they refuse to let the accused record JCs? They scatter like cockroaches when you shine a light on them.