a new person with a familiar story.....

by sndy420 13 Replies latest jw experiences

  • sndy420

    So...I have been involved with jws for 21 years, have a wonderful husband and 4 wonderful daughters( I am so lucky!!!) And for a year or so have been steadily leaving the org.It didnt amswer my questions or satisfy my needs at first- but then I started to do my own searching and found out alot of things that were just wrong. My oldest daughter decided to DA herself and I knew that I would never turn my back on her. My next two daughters found no comfort or refuge in the congregation,they never got baptized. And basically we became invisible to other jws in our area. The so-called brotherhood did not exist as far as we were concerned. I have been coming to this site and doing alot of reading for about 4 months and also another one which I have begun to post on. It has been very helpful to vent and talk about all of the stuff you have built up for so many years.
    Anyway - Life is very good right now. My girls are happy and healthy and my husband really feels the same as me. I actually went to the memorial and he wouldn't go. I went to see if I still felt the same way,I did.I am involved as coach of my daughters HS dance team ( a NO-NO in my old life ) I have a new baby granddaughter!!!! Husband at new company and very happy!!! Spring has sprung!!!
    But- do any of you feel like there is a void spiritually? And if so how have you filled it???

  • WildHorses

    My children were also glad that I stopped going to the meetings. Freedom is a wondeful feeling. When I was a jw I felt as if I was serving people, not God.

    Welcome to the forum.


    I don't want someone in my life I can live with. I want someone in my life I can't live without.
  • Disposable Hero
    Disposable Hero

    nice to meet you sndy420. I think most people who leave have a spiritual void because a person relied on the org so much. Now a person is on their own and not sure where to turn to. A big part of there life is simply not there anymore. I find if you seek you shall find. You find people on this board who are athiest to pagans to born-again christians. Good luck.

    You lie so much you believe yourself
    Judge not lest ye be judged yourself

  • Double Edge
    Double Edge

    You sound like a very level-headed person who can think for themselves. Keep prayerfully searching with an open mind and 'truth' will speak to you. Enjoy life...it's one of God's greatest gifts.

  • sndy420

    oh yeah- the reason I was asking about a spiritual void is we still have a 3 year old who I have been totally lacking about teaching her anything about god etc... My 3 who were raised in the truth could tell you all about Jehovah by the time they were that age. I am completely repelled by how I inundated the first 3 - I was never one of those totally manic jws ( always hated service, sitting for hours at assemblies etc...) but maybe I just need a break for awhile and the little one will have to wait. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

  • Carmel

    Hi Sndy,

    I'd be interested in what you mean by a "spiritual void"! The reason I am is the frustration I had as a Jdub when every other word was the adjective "spiritual". I'm sure you remember. So is it your intellect that is unsatisfied or is it your "heart" your emotional void. Actually, it could be your lack of having people around you that support your doctrinal convictions or your desire to be free therefrom.

    To answer your question, I left the borg at 15 yrs young and immediately began a search for truth in the available christian churches. Of course, coming from the hyper-critical JW mindset, none of them were satisfying. All I could see was the hypocracy, which of course, was in the dubbies as well. I soon began a slide into agnosticism and frankly it was more "spiritually" rewarding than anything I experianced before. No fake relationships based on believing and doing like the sunday flock. While I kept my moral code intact, I certainly challanged everything any member of churchianity threw at me.

    It wasn't until I was 33 that I stumbled upon a religion that was both intellectually satisfying as well as fulfilling emotionally and socially.

    I hope you don't give up the search or that you wear your self out looking for what fills the void.

    Welcome, if I didn't say it before.


  • rebelledat12

    Hi and welcome!
    It's possible that the void you feel is just the absence of someone telling you what to think. If you relax and try to live life as a good person, you'll find your answers. And keep an open mind!
    Peace -

  • alazenby

    I had that same void, even not in the organization, when my daughter was in it all these years -- and I finally just went to Jesus and asked him to reveal himself to me and to teach me all things whatsoever he had commanded. He came in and has never left, and even though I have cancer, I can say he has hidden me in the rock, himself, and shown me in his word all things true, which he is the Word of God. There comes a point where you have to trust alone in the True Savior God and he will reveal himself to you. Nothing man can do will ever do this for you. You may contact Watchman Fellowship at Watchman.org for information about this organization and others in which we help those with questions. Love and blessings in Christ to you, friend.

  • iggy_the_fish

    I started learning the piano and German last year, primarily as a distraction from my own spiritual void. However, as time goes by (now I have learned some nice tunes) I find a deep "spirituality" (I think, as best as I can describe it) in making music, especially now I can do it for enjoyment rather than it feeling like a frivolous waste of time. It is certainly making use of a God given (if you still belive in God) gift, and what greater honour can you give to someone who gives you a gift than to use it? If you don't do so already, perhaps you might get stuck into some sort of artistic endevour? It won't entirely fill your void, but it might form a small part of your "new" spirituality, whatever that turns out to be.

    Herzlichen willkommen, from a fellow newbie.


  • Latte


    It has been very helpful to vent and talk about all of the stuff you have built up for so many years.
    Sndy, that just how I felt….years of restraint, blindly accepting things which did not make sense. Freedom is truly wonderful isn’t it?

    But- do any of you feel like there is a void spiritually? And if so how have you filled it???
    No, never felt any spiritual void, I’d simply gotten used to it over the years of being a dub [

    It does concern me that my daughter (8yrs) might in the future feel a spiritual need similar to Carmel…

    Carmel said

    I left the borg at 15 yrs young and immediately began a search for truth in the available christian churches.
    I only hope that this will not happen as I would see it as somewhat futile. My husband and I feel that ‘educating’ them as best we can, about life will help them feel that they have enough ‘answers’ to get on with their lives without any religious distractions. There are many wholesome books out there for children; one which my daughter likes is simple book of quotes eg.

    1) Tranquillity breeds the ability to disagree with what others say. The calmer listener understands exactly what it is he is disagreeing with.

    2) To feel love…give love.

    3) Work at being happy, it is the most worthwhile exercise.

    I’m sure you get the idea, my daughter is often found reading this little book in bed. I have others which explain topics such as Jealousy, anger, books which explain these areas far better than the ‘rottenness to the bones’ scripture or the comparing others material belongings.

    Gotta make breakfast now!


    PS. I am always grateful for any suggestions on this topic, so any e-mails on this subject are always most welcome

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