I have often contemplated why my wife stays with me. I am fairly unskilled at being a husband. I dont work. No not that I dont like work, I do like work. It is just that I am lazy, and working means getting my ass off this couch....
I dont do housework.
I do bathe, usually anyhow.
I generally masturbate and rarely have sex with her.
My friends stay all the time...(see post on if the witnesses ever made you feel cared for)
I watch my neices all the time.
I cuss...
I used to get drunk, say about 4 times a year since Ive been thirty. But recently I had a tequila drunk. Bleck. that shit is nasty. Now it is true that all alcohol tastes like crap to me anyhow. But at least the results are fun. And I never, even with the teq, get hangovers. But the teq drunk just wasnt fun. So I gave up drinkin..fuck it.
Oh yes I mock her religion, online, in voice chat.
I flirt..like crazy.
I read porn, and I have a fairly nice collection of porn photos..
I usually have one or another pic of another hot broad on my desktop, no not the porn stuff, didnt you hear me you moron I said I have neices over...sheesh some people.
I run the phone bill up.
The only bill I really pay is the cable bill, aka cable modem internet access boooyah!
I do medical research for a living on occasion, as a lab rat, so I am gone sometimes weeks at a time.
I am a racist, she is black.
I am a sexist, and a misogynist...
I am starting my own cult. She isnt too keen on reaping the benefits of it. Why a woman would not want naked women cleaning her house, and working in strip clubs and giving all the money to her and her husband is beyond me!
I buy lots of role playing games and never play them.
I dont take her out.
I take myself out.
I am at the moment infatuated with Aisha Tyler, and she knows it. Before that it was the broad from Tomb Raider, whats her name. Have you seen her lips! Man alive kill me now. I might have to switch back to her for a while.
I practice many pagan customs...even though I am a nothingist...
I degrade the bible. (Well actually the bible degrades itself, I just point out where)
I used to thinks he only stayed with me for the pickle tickle now and again. And it is true when I am giving her a pickle tickle she is more compliant to my desires.
But then I realized well feck, I pretty much suck at that too.
And it definitely is not the 'except for adultery' thing becuase she knows she just has to say she is fed up and wam, bam thank you charlie, the dog and me is gittin it on!...true I prefer cats, since they are far sexier than dogs....but I dont have one readily available.
So then why is she with me? My most recent conclusion is just that I am hyghly entertaining.
