Since you've left, are you still good friends with your bestest JW buddies?

Julia Orwell

Is it possible that someone has a JW friend who's very active in the congregation, knows you don't believe it anymore, and is still your friend? I'm at the point where word is getting out that I'm not going to meetings anymore, and friends ask me if they'll be seeing me at the CA and I tell them I'm not going. They want to know why, and what they can do to encourage me. This is my close friends, that is, and one even sent me a scripture.

I really care about these people and have been friends with them for a long time, but I feel it's inevitable we will grow apart over religious differences. I also don't have the emotional energy to expend in dealing with the whys and hows of 'leaving the truth'.

Do any of you have JW friends the same as when you were in? Did anyone just go like "Yeah, so what he doesn't go to meetings anymore..." and leave it at that and still be your friend without trying to 'encourage' you or find out what's eating at you? All my JW friends when I was in were really active in the congregation. Even now when they text or email me or call, (not my last cong but my former cong) things are different. I try not to be weird about it to them, but it's an elephant that won't stay in its corner of the room.

I want to know if it's possible your 'spiritual' JW friends will ever accept your choice to leave. Or will just treat you the same as always without trying to 'save' you.

LouBelle

Nope. I was disfellowshipped, so nobody from my former JW life is friends with me. My cutting off was severe and practiced in full. I have only made contact with 2 former friends very recently as they have left as well. I was very popular in the faith - the girl that threw the parties, the funny one, gave great talks, had money to splash around, did all the fun things - very well liked by sooooo many people....but of course it was all conditional.

OUTLAW

JW Friendship is Conditional..

Don`t expect to keep those connections,it`s not going to happen..

If your lucky..

You`ll have an arms length distance relationship with JW relatives..

In short..

You need to rebuild your life from scratch..

. ..............................OUTLAW

EmptyInside

No,I hear from my former best friend from time to time via e-mail. But,she doesn't bother anymore. I did tell her I have doubts without going into things. She didn't even bother to try to encourage me.

I've learned to accept things as they are. Everyone is so busy,and when you're not at the meetings or service,it's out of sight,out of mind. They could care less,only to gossip about you.

Plus,I find it dfficult to be around Witnesses and listening to "cult" speak. It's hard to be respectful and not roll my eyes,lol.

Julia Orwell

Ah nuts. Thank goodness I don't have any JW relatives and my 'worldly' family love me unconditionally. But what you say Outlaw, is pretty much what I suspected; and Loubelle, I'm sorry to say I've been guilty of the shunning. Mind you, if I ran into a dfd person I'd still say hi because one must be civil, but would delete them off my facebook and not call or anything. Ohhhhh what a self righteous twat I was!

Aunt Fancy

No. We left about a year ago. I kept in touch with a few friends but they have all died off. Get this, I had just started radiation for cancer and I was talking on the phone with a friend. She told me during that conversation that I was her best friend (the conversation took place in January) and that was the last time I heard from her, so where was the love and support? That isn't what I would call a friend especially when you are going through cancer treatment you would think there would be compassion. Needless to say I don't think much of her or any of the others.

new hope and happiness

Julia i feel each time i have left an organisation the friendships have with time faded, be it school, work, or the witnesses.

I accept association in the witnesses was largely based on acceptance to dogma and witness activity. As for friendships surviving without that association, i am not disfellowshipped, but marked and not good assocition. As for feelings of friendship, yes i think on both sides ( mine and theres) these have survived.I call my witness friends who tradesman if i need a plummer or windows cleaned and we get on just fine and the subject of religion is avoided.

I think friendships based on a commom interest will grow apart if that common interest is in conflict. I am pleased that in many cases the friendships i have had have been proven stronget than W.T association. These positive cases have not been with any of the elders.

Julia Orwell

OMG that's terrible! Did she not visit you or anything? So much for friend.

So how does one make new friends? I mean, make friends? At the KH they're all ready-made for you and it's no effort. But now...effort?

Aunt Fancy

Empty inside reminded me of the last time we went to a gathering. We had started our fade and it was just after we found out everything. We both felt really strange listening to the cult talk and we both wanted out of there as fast as we could. I don't know how others can continue to go to meetings. I would go nuts if I had to listen to it but I do understand they are trying to keep their families together.

Aunt Fancy

Not once and neither did anyone else!! Disgusting! I joined a bowling league and have met some nice women. My husband goes to a meet up where they play musical instruments. I have met some women through my cousin. I want to do some volunteering for the cancer hospital. There really are a lot of ways to meet people. My husband is a golfer and he met a guy in the golf store and they exchanged phone numbers to play golf together. I have made my relationships much stronger with my family. It was such a strain on them with me being a Witness. It is wonderful being with my family again. My Dad use to cry at Christmas every year because we were never there and he told my sisters that she is in a cult and we have to do everything in our power to not lose her.

Since you've left, are you still good friends with your bestest JW buddies?

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