Hello Everyone! This is my first post here, so I guess I should introduce myself J I'm a 19-year-old college student in Baltimore, Maryland. I was involved with JWs on and off for about 4 years and, after being baptized for a little over a year, I stopped attending meetings. Although my time as a JW was very brief (compared to the decades many people have spent in the organization) it is amazing how much my experience as a JW has affected my life.
It has taken a great deal of time and thought for me to sever my ties with the organization, but it was a decision that I will never regret making. I have learned so much about myself and mankind that is simply incompatible with the teaching of the WTBTS, and the best part is that I learned all of these things on my own. I didn't need an elder or a pioneer to tell me what to think or to categorize what was right and what was wrong. I know now that I am just as capable as everyone else of living, learning, loving, and understanding the people around me.
I guess that is what got me entangled in this religion to begin with. I didn't believe in myself. I wanted absolute truth, and I really believed that some religion out there had to have it. So, when I started studying with JWs, I was enchanted by their façade of confidence and rightness. They had answers for every question I could think of, I just never stopped to wonder if they were the right answers or not. Being a troubled teen, I was also drawn into the "brotherhood' that existed in the religion. What I perceived as spiritual family ties were really tourniquets cutting off my life with every "worldly" person around me. In hindsight, it seems almost as it was all planned out, like some kind of hunt or something.
I've had some deeply painful experiences, like most JWs. But what I have gone through is not what is important because so many others have experience much worse than what I have. The important thing is that I have seen through the deception and saved my life before I was completely drained of any will to think freely. My heart aches for those who are still involved in the WTBTS, many of which will never leave. But I cannot dwell on things that I cannot control. All I can do is be grateful for my insight, and find/share as much happiness as possible.
So, despite the pain I went through being a JW, I really am thankful for the lessons that I have learned. In leaving the WTBTS, I learned that beauty is not only in physical diversity, but in mental diversity as well. Individuality and creativity in thought are what make the world turn. It wasn't until my own individuality started to diminish, as a result of what I was being taught, that I realized something was wrong. I found that passion (at least mine) cannot survive in a religion where there is no freedom to explore. Now I am strong and I know to never let anyone control my heart/mind again J
I'm sure your eyes are worn from reading this long drawn out post, but thanks for caring enough to share in my experience. I look forward to drawing support and encouragement from all you!