More JW urban legends

by NikL 20 Replies latest jw friends

  • NikL

    Well here is a new batch of JW urban legends (oops, I mean experiences) I just got in the e mail. Thought I would share the joy and lighten your day ;-)
    A sister took her granddaughter to the Circuit Assembly with her.
    Later that evening at home, the sister told her granddaughter to get
    ready to have her bath. When the sister came back into the bathroom,
    she noticed that her granddaughter had gotten in the bathtub with her
    watch on. The sister said, "Oh, no honey, you have to take your watch
    off too." Her granddaughter said, "No, I can't!". The sister asked why
    and the little girl responded, "Because the brother said in his talk
    today that we have to 'Keep on the watch'!"

    A couple went out of town to attend a quickbuild. They stayed in a
    local hotel along with other visiting friends.
    When they were ready to leave, they went to the front desk to pay their
    The hotel owner said, "Don't worry about it. You bill has already been
    paid." How did this happen? The man explained, "Many people in the
    town thought that you couldn't build your Kingdom Hall in just two days,
    so I took their bets. All of your bills have been more than taken care


    A little brother was in the ministry and said that he had a return
    An older brother accompanied him. When the man opened the door and saw
    the little boy, he said, "I told you before that I'm not interested in
    your magazines and yet you keep coming back."
    The little brother said, "But I have different magazines this time,
    So the man said, "Alright, I'll take them but remember, I'm NOT
    and he closed the door. As the two brothers left the door, the little
    one said, "Wait, I have to write this down." The older brother was
    curious as to what he was writing, so he looked over his shoulder and
    watched as the little brother wrote, "Placed two magazines with man who
    PRETENDS not to be interested."


    A brother who was blind was able to get around by means of a seeing eye
    Eventually the brother passed away, and his dog was passed on to another
    man who lived nearby. The man began to notice that, like clockwork, on
    every Tuesday and Thursday evening, the dog would position himself next
    to the front door. The man was puzzled, so one day he decided he would
    follow where the dog would lead. The dog, of course, led his new master
    right to the Kingdom Hall.
    The man did not know where he was, but the people seemed very friendly,
    so he decided to stay and listen.
    After the meeting, the man accepted a Bible study and he is now our
    The Bethel speaker ended this experience by saying, "Now, if a DOG can
    find his way to the meetings... well, you get the idea." :)


    A brother was getting ready to put his young daughter to bed and say
    prayers with her. When he got to her bedroom door, he saw that she had
    already begun to pray, so he stood at the door and listened. The
    daughter mentioned a few things in her prayer, and then began to recite
    the entire alphabet. Once she was finished, her father went in and
    asked why she recited the alphabet.
    "Well," the little girl said, "There are many things that I want to say,
    but I don't know the words, so I gave Jehovah all of the letters of the
    alphabet so he can figure out what I want to say."


    A sister who lives in a country where the work is still under ban was on
    her way home. While she was walking, she was discreetly witnessing to
    people that she came across. She noticed a strange man following her,
    so she began to walk faster and eventually lost him.
    Later, when she was at the bus stop, she saw that the man had caught up
    with her, and he proceeded to follow her onto the bus, and sit directly
    behind her. He began to say obscenities to her as well as derogatory
    things about the witnesses. A woman who was sitting next to the sister
    and had heard all of the things the man said stood up and announced, "Is
    there anyone MAN enough to throw this rude man off of the bus?" Two men
    obliged her request and threw the man off of the bus, and the sister was
    able to get home safely.

  • moman

    My "gag" reflex is working well!

  • heathen

    THese urban legend threads usually make me rotflmao.I especially like the one about the hotel really cracked me up lol

  • out4good3


    My bullshit detector is about to explode !!!!!!!!!!

  • detective

    Love that last story there. I'm not really sure I see the mythic quality of it though.

    A woman gets followed and harassed on a bus? Yeah, so? If he was following her and harassing only because she was a witness then she must have been butt ugly because there isn't a woman I know who can't name their own personal horror story of harassment- particularly if they take public transportation.

    Getting harassed by a crazy person on a bus. What a surprise, Opie.

  • Xander

    Well, the first illustration clearly shows how easy it is to brainwash children, and holds them up as an example in how easily it should be to brainwash the listener (why aren't you all this easy to brainwash?? SHAME on you!!)

    The second is a wonderful illustration showing how taking bets and gambling can really work to a christian's benefit. Baby needs a new pair of shoes, praise jah!

    The third is a excellent example in how we should be able to be presented with a clear, direct statement, and be able to misinterpret it to what the society wants. This is all VERY bible-based and upbuilding!

    Next is a classic example of a dog returning to its own vomit! Praise jah that the society has used this behavior as a warning to us! (oh, wait, what was the point of the story, again?)

    Next we find a fine example that we don't even need to be coherent in our prayers, since god isn't going to pay attention to them anyway, and will go ahead and do whatever the hell he feels like. Praise the lord!

    And, finally, we have a wonderful case where a sister in potential trouble is deserted by her god again, and wordly men must come to the rescue.

    What a fine list of examples for all of us!

    Xander F
    (Unseen Apostate Directorate of North America - Ohio order)

    A fanatic is one who, upon losing sight of his goals, redoubles his efforts.
    --George Santayana

  • JT

    is it not interesting that we often times hear such great exp on the conventions and in public talks-

    i mean these exp are really excellent, but it's interesting how the very best ones never make it the mags-

    anf the reason is simple

    they cant be confirmed and yet they have no problem letting them be told Orally

    there should be a BOE letter asddressing using exp that someone told you and yet they don't

    they like this out of the way exp to keep the troops fired up


  • Moxy
    there should be a BOE letter asddressing using exp that someone told you and yet they don't

    they like this out of the way exp to keep the troops fired up

    yes, there is. elders are told to be very cautious about emailing experiences or using emailed experiences and they pass this advice along. jeez you cant have it both ways. dont you think the WT is scared of the internet and too controlling of what members do? and youre complaining that theyre not controlling enough?? ULs are a part of every culture and JW ULs are just another group of them with interesting twists. you dont have to find fault with the WT every time you read anything JW-related, you know.


  • 2SYN


    I'm sure glad we don't vote anymore like we did before we got the truth. Now we get to complain about everything ALL the politicians do!
    [SYN], UADA - Unseen Apostate Directorate, Africa

  • picosito

    I think you posted to the wrong forum. You should try

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