My son contemplates suicide.

by dmouse 41 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  Nathan Natas

  I agree that Benjamin should consult a professional. Short term use of antidepressants may help. You may want to contact Randy Watters or Steve Hassan for their advice about deprogrammers.

  I think it is great that your son already has some non-Dub friends at school. What if you invited some of those friends over and told them about what Benjamin has been through? It would serve as a "witness" to them of what Dubs are about, and they may offer Benjamin a bit more support than otherwise. There's probably no need to tell them about the suicide attempt, but I would explain how the church has decided to shun Benjamin becasue he has left behind the things of a child and has begun to think for himself.
• 

  neyank

  As others have said, have him talk to a profesional.

  Explain to him that it doesn't mean he's crazy, but sometimes talking to someone will help ease the stress he's under.

  This is a perfect example of the JW unity.
  Forced to stay in line no matter what the consequences.
  Emotional blackmail.

  And this is what the WTS calls Gods Orginization.

  It makes me sick.

  neyank
• 

  dmouse

  Wow! Thanks friends for all your thoughts, compassion and advice.

  Here is an update.

  My wife is extremely pissed off at the brother who is shunning my son, and she shared with me what happened at the meeting this morning. It also turns out that this brrother is encouraging other members of the congregation to shun Ben and is busy spreading rumours about him.
  Apparently Ben’s grandma took this brother (Adrian Taylor is his name, I call him Macho-runt) aside during the Watchtower study today and laid into him big time. He apparently took his family home early in tears. But I think grandma will have to pay, she was taken aside by an elder, I think she went over the top in berating a brother in public! Good for her!!!!

  Now, get this, Benjamin spilled the beans to the elders about how he really feels. Their answer?
  Guess? That’s right, Benjamin is going to get an extra bible study with an elder on Wednesday nights!!! Apparently, and this is the gospel truth, this elder told Benjamin that Satan had found a weakness in the congregation (Benjamin) and was using him to disrupt the peace and unity of the congregation! Now that the elders were aware of the Devil’s plan they could act to remedy the situation.

  My God! I am just speechless at the sheer stupidity of these people!

  Well, this afternoon I had to take Benjamin to the local supermarket to have a passport photo taken.
  If you click on this link you may be able to see the last one we took, I couldn’t resist messing about. You can see that our little chat has improved his mood no end. We had a real good laugh at things.

  http://www.cartogra.com/rs/1C71B9E9-4A50-11D6-B42B-0090277A760E/screen

  We had a long heart to heart and I am relieved to say that I think Benjamin’s suicide thoughts were a passing phase. Hi has said that he won’t consider such a thing again and has promised to keep sharing his innermost thoughts with me; he knows I won’t judge him. I asked him how he felt about the extra study with an elder and assured him that, if he wanted me too, I would have it stopped. Benjamin, however, has decided that he doesn’t mind going so I am bowing to his wishes in this.
  He feels much stronger now and is assured of my love for him.

  However, I hear the advice you folks have given. First thing tomorrow we are going to see a counsellor at his school, whom Ben has spoken to before, and get her advice. She can get access to psychiatric help should she deem it appropriate.

  Once again, thanks for all your support. You people are real gems!
• 

  seven006

  Dmouse,

  Is your son athletic at all? Has he ever played any team sports at school? He seems to be a very social person and an alternative social setting like a soccer or softball team may help him adjust. Running to get professional counsel is good for a certain amount of things but many times when it comes to kids they feel that if they are made to talk to a shrink that there is something deeply wrong with them. This can add more to his depression than it might help.

  It sounds like his depression is issue based and not something that makes up his normal psychological profile. If you told us that he has slipped in and out of a depressive state for many years then a counselor would definitely be in line. From what you have said it looks like his depression and his attempt to solve that case of depression is based on his rejection from those he thought were his friends. It is not "he" who has the problem but it is the JW kids and their parents cult way of thinking that is the problem.

  If you can find a way to get him involved in another social setting as soon as possible, it might do the trick. You may have to sit your wife down and tell her to keep out of this for a while because your son's life may depend on it. It sounds like her mind is in line with those who have caused your son to feel this way. Get him involved with a group of kids outside of the JW confines and deal with repercussions from your wife later. If his friends and the need for social acceptance is so important to your son and it is what caused him to take his actions then an alternative social atmosphere might be the thing to reverse it.

  Kids thrive on acceptance from others. His being accepted by the JW cult is over and done. Help him move on with his life and help him realize that there are a lot of incredible people out there in the world and all he needs to do is join in and find out. I have gone through similar experiences with my own sons. They are all now very mentally healthy and not one of them want anything to do with that cult. My ex-wife will be forever pissed off at me but that's life!

  Take care,

  Dave
• 

  Flip

  In addition, contemplate seeking legal council. You may never be able to touch the insulated WTS Corporation but if worst comes to worst, taking names and dates now may allow you to bring those individual Jehovah’s Witnesses to justice who are responsible for instigating and carrying out the mental abuse.

  Better to be pro-active today in combating abuse, than making makers of sympathy cards and flower shops rich after the fact.

  Flip
• 

  Elsewhere

  Please remind him that he is under NO obligation to meet with the elder.

  BTW... Great pic! I got a chuckle and grin out of it.

  "As every one knows, there are mistakes in the Bible" - The Watchtower, April 15, 1928, p. 126
  Believe in yourself, not mythology.
  <x ><
• 

  Elsewhere

  I can't help but keep thinking about how the elder descrbed your son as a devisive instument of the devil, when it was he who ran around starting rumors and telling people to avoid your son.

  "As every one knows, there are mistakes in the Bible" - The Watchtower, April 15, 1928, p. 126
  Believe in yourself, not mythology.
  <x ><
• 

  seven006

  Mouse,

  I just read your last post and I do not know how far you want to take this but the elder telling your son that the devil is using him to disrupt the congregation is definitely a strong form of child abuse. You might want to consider telling the school counselor about what the elder said.

  I know you want to have your son make his own decisions on the bible study but do you really want him to be subjected to a person who is telling him the devil is using him to cause trouble in the congregation? Can you imagine what other additional cult propaganda he will be putting into your sons head? It is the JW way of thinking and it's psychological black mail that led him to do what he did. Do you think it is safe to allow your son to continue with this kind of mental development? A bible study may seem harmless but it is the JW mindset and control that will be taught to him every Wednesday night. This is more than it may seem to be on the surface. Calling it a bible study is just a cover for what it really is, cult programing.

  Remember Robert Bryant?

  Dave
• 

  Reborn2002

  dmouse-

  (((((((((HUG)))))))))

  First of all I wish to offer my sincerest sympathies to you. No father should have to bear the thought that their son is pushed to the point of contemplating suicide.. much less over a sickening, corrupt religion which divides families and destroys lives.

  Having experienced a similar circumstance, having taken grad-level psychology courses, and having BEEN to a psychiatrist BECAUSE of the JW, my suggestion is the same.

  If you love your son, which I KNOW you DO, GET HIM HELP NOW! He may tell you he is fine, or may even resist the help, but it is in his best interest.

  Just because someone's mood appears improved, does NOT mean the likelihood of suicide is diminished. In fact, that person may be INTENTIONALLY appearing in better spirits, to divert attention.

  When I first was experiencing doubts in the JW religion, when I was first labeled "bad association", and when I finally mustered the courage to disassociate myself.. all the while I battled a VERY hard and LONG internal conflict emotionally, and contemplated suicide MANY times. This was a process that took place over a course of YEARS.

  Even now, I go into moments of regression. It is an unfortunate side-effect of their programming.

  This is not uncommon. Two of my childhood friends from the same congregation had suicidal tendencies when they first contemplated leaving the religion. It is a mind-control cult, and the absolute restriction of any social structure outside of other members combined with the insinuations if you are not a member you are worthy of death.. leads one to feel worthless and usually alone.

  I often wonder what the statistics are for the number of people who have killed themselves in the name of this disgusting religion.
  I would not be surprised if the casualty rate was in the tens of thousands, especially vulnerable children.

  I beg of you to seek professional help for your child.

  We must also remember in this difficult time of transition, and in your trying to cope with such a stressful scenario, YOU will need a support base and assistance as well.

  My email address is always open, and if you EVER need someone to talk to, I will make time for you. You can get through this, and you WILL.

  True Christian Love from Me to You my Friend.

  - Jason

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• 

  Nathan Natas

  Flip made a very good suggestion - begin keeping a diary on this topic, noting names and dates and things said to or about your son.

  If you decide to file suit against the instigator of this shunning , or the elders if they fail to put an end to it, such documentation may prove very useful.

  Expose! EXPOSE! EXPOSE the "king" and his "kingdom"!
  - Nathan Natas, UADNA
  (Unseen Apostate Directorate of North America)