The Meetings

by molybdenum 15 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • molybdenum
    molybdenum

    The Meetings

    As a JW you know what to do

    twice a week, does it give you a clue?

    Yes, go to the meetings, without fail

    don't be late or you'll go to jail.

    If you don't attend there's something wrong

    Probably you're not so spiritually strong.

    “I've never missed one” some say out loud

    it's their badge of honour and makes them proud

    So, what is so good? some may ask

    well, let's see, through a looking glass

    The Congregation Bible Study is the first one

    You comment from a book, it's really great fun

    The Bible highlights, what's that? Can you guess

    Your chance to comment, thirty seconds, or less

    The school is so nice, you give some talks

    Then a brother will tell you all your faults.

    The service meeting, well what can I say?

    How to preach the JW way.

    A chance for the GB to keep you straight

    Lot's of do and dont's, what's there to hate?

    A public talk gives you plenty to do

    taking notes through and through

    The Watchtower study, it's just great,

    Answer from the page, do not deviate.

    So now you know what you'll miss if you don't go

    I bet you can 't wait for the next show.

    It doesn’t cost much so come for a greeting

    at the best place you can go. A JW meeting !

  • LostGeneration
  • Theocratic Sedition
    Theocratic Sedition

    lol at the look on those kids' faces!

  • Perry
    Perry
    The Congregation Bible Study is the first one
    You comment from a book, it's really great fun

    I still can't get over how I never saw the deception in having a "bible" study from a book that was not the bible. It never occurred to me that a bible study should use the bible as the sole textbook.

    Thanks for the reminder.

  • fakesmile
    fakesmile

    mos def written by a dub. it has the meter of a kingdumb mellody and the prose of an elementry school rope skipping song. i bet the author is still grinning about the originality.

  • Billy the Ex-Bethelite
    Billy the Ex-Bethelite

    I used to stay for meetings the whole way through.
    Now just 8 minutes would be enough to make me spew!

  • Think About It
  • cult classic
    cult classic

    Still can't believe I was in that hot mess of a religion.

    on the poem.

  • Theocratic Sedition
    Theocratic Sedition

    The Meetings- my version

    At the meetings we learn about Jehovah

    his actions in the Hebrew Scriptures remind me of Ray Liotta

    You want to comment? Here's your chance

    During the Bible Highlights when elders rarely raise their hands

    Uh Oh someone's name's just been read

    To his immediate family he might as well be dead

    Before we enjoy the WT Study

    A half hour talk is given be some ol fuddy duddy

    At the Service Meeting there's a demonstration

    The householder was accused of molestation

    But the audience is completely unaware

    Because nothing happened if two witnesses weren't there

    As much as I'd like to finish this poem

    The weather girl is on TV and I need to go handle the microphone

  • LostGeneration
    LostGeneration

    Good one TS!

    Maybe the OP can replace the original and send it out to his/her email contacts....

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