ah...the joys....

by peaceloveharmony 2 Replies latest social humour

  • peaceloveharmony

    got this email :) made me laugh and i wanted to share with you all.

    The Joys of Womanhood

    Women over 50 don't have babies because they would put them down and forget where they left them.

    One of life's mysteries is how a 2 pound box of candy can make a woman gain 5 lbs.

    My mind not only wanders, it sometime leaves completely.

    The best way to forget all your troubles is to wear tight shoes.

    The nice part about living in a small town is that when you don't know what you're doing, someone else does.

    The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight because by then, your body and your fat are really good friends.

    Just when I was getting used to yesterday, along came today.

    Sometimes I think I understand everything, then I regain

    I gave up jogging for my health when my thighs kept rubbing
    together and setting my pantyhose on fire.

    Amazing! You hang something in your closet for awhile and it shrinks two sizes!

    Skinny people irritate me! Especially when they say things like, "You know, sometimes I just forget to eat." Now I've forgotten my address, my mother's maiden name, and my keys. But I've never forgotten to eat. You have to be a special kind of stupid to forget to eat.

    A friend of mine confused her valium with her birth control pills. She had 14 kids, but she doesn't really care.

    The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing and then they marry him. (or fall in love lol, this one is my favorite :P)

    I read this article that said the typical symptoms of stress are: eating too much, impulse buying, and driving too fast. Are they kidding? That is my idea of a perfect day.

    I know what Victoria's Secret is. The secret is that nobody older than 30 can fit into their stuff.

    happy friday :)

  • gilwarrior

    funny, funny, funny

    "I have so much love to give, but no one to give it to."

    William H. Macy - "Magnolia"

  • Valis

    plh...someone sent me this yesterday..

    The Senility Prayer

    Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.

    Now that I'm "older" (but refuse to grow up) Here is what I have discovered:

    1. I started out with nothing, and still have most of it.

    2. My wild oats have turned into All Bran.

    3. I finally got my head together, now the rest of me is falling apart.

    4. Funny, I don't remember being absent minded.

    5. Funny, I don't remember being absent minded.

    6. If all is not lost, where is it??

    7. It's easier to get older than wiser.

    8. The only time the world beats a path to your door is when you are in the bathroom.

    9. These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter. I go somewhere to get something and then wonder what I am hereafter.

    10.It's not hard to meet expenses, they are everywhere!!


    District Overbeer

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