by Julia Orwell 18 Replies latest jw friends
I really don't know but it would make for an interesting study.
When in I used to say that if I hadn't been born-in I would have found the truth anyway.
Now I'm out I say if I had been born-out I would never have touched the borg if you paid me because I would have fully checked things out first.
At least I would have used my youth to get a proper education.
A 2008 Pew survey http://ed5015.tripod.com/JwPewSurvey121.htm concluded that: Jehovah’s Witnesses “had the lowest retention rate of any religious tradition” – only 37 percent of those who were reared Jehovah’s Witnesses still identified themselves as Witnesses as adults (2008, p. 26).
I was an adult convert. I think that leaving the borg is easier for people who don't have family in and who don't have close friendships with anyone in. When I felt like our family's entire social life depended on being in the borg, I couldn't imagine leaving. I really felt like I'd never make friends and my kids would really suffer outside the borg. I felt that I would be ripping them away from all their friends. Over time though, the people at the hall pulled away from us. I think it was mainly because our family never did conform to the borg prescribed gender roles and I stopped going in service. The older kids never became publishers either. SO ultimately, we all felt pretty isolated at the hall and leaving wasn't really all that hard on any of us. The biggest issue for born-ins (I think) is the likelihood that a large part of their family is in, and that's hard to deal with. Just Ron and I both wanted out long before either of us was brave enough to admit it to each other. We were both afraid it would ruin our relationship.
Here is a good analogy.
You can't describe color to a person who has been blind from birth, but you can with someone who lost their sight later in life.
While it may be easier for converts to leave due to existing support network, I would say born-ins are more likely to leave.
Converts actually chose to join, born-ins have the choice made for them and are forced to accept it.
According to the Pew Survey 63% of those raised as a Witness eventually leave after becoming an adult. That's pretty high.
Not saying either is better, but I feel faith is easier to lose if you weren't the one to chose to have it in the first place.
I think part of the reason for me waking up was
1) my parents started waking up before me and so we all went on the journey together,
2) I had my husband who was waking up along side and he had major doubts and had gone through what Tiki described...well I went through that too with the low self-esteem too, but that is a different topic.
3) I have a great friend who had escaped from WT years before me because it never "clicked" with her , but she was there as a support for me and I also had other non-JW friends who have been here for me through all of this.
I guess part of it to is if you have a life outside of WT that you can turn too. I never really had any close friends while in so I found friends outside of WT and guess what? They were happy when I left and didn't shun me, they embraced me!
G
DAVID_10:
Even though some would disagree, I tend to agree with you that it is easier for a convert (such as myself) to leave the religion. As you mentioned, converts have a point of reference for what is "normal" not to mention family and other things.
I thank my lucky stars that I had a normal childhood with holidays and loving relatives I could re-establish a relationship with, before it was too late! Thankfully, I resisted creepy JW suggestions that I quit my good job, as though these people were going to support me!
I give you a lot of credit for having the courage to leave what was familiar and start over. I hope you have had some lucky breaks! Best wishes.
I think it's more likely for converts to leave, because they have fewer attachments.
But I think it's more likely for 'born-ins' to want to leave.
Converts have usually already had to make changes in their social structure (spending less time with 'worldly' friends etc) when they joined the JWs, and it may seem more unpleasant to have to make big changes again.
Gojira, I'm shocked that your paraents allowed you to go to college. I'm surprised it was even on the table, or an option over the years. You must be under 40ish?
