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hopelesslystained

How do you deal with them? I am having many. From experiencing falsely based family accusations. Commitee meetings (old term). And, having to accept counsel which was based on 'well, you slept with your husband again so now you cannot get a scriptural divorce and must now be a good example) even though he is abusive in all ways imaginable.

Granted, this was many, many years ago, but, every once in a while it pops up and the internal arguments and conversation are frustrating and, sheesh, I cannot fall asleep...!! Yes, I have had much professional counsil in the past. This problem only pops up with many years in between. Looking for personal success information and not just, 'go see a professional'.

And, no, I am not depressed. Just weird episodes which I can live without!!

hopelesslystained

oops, should have said, 'he was and has not recent contact'.

judi8751

Totally understand what you going through, I have the ocassional dream that I am still with my abusive ex ( cant understand why as am more than happy to be out of it). The Elders tried to get me to return to him after I left him and put the guilt trip on me, this man made me homeless 4x, didnt look after his family, pretended to work, didnt bring any money in and set up so many 'businesses' it was ridiculous. Not entirely sure it ever goes away, especially if you had many years together. I try and look on all the positive stuff I have in my life now ( and there are loads) if you want to chat more PM me x

zeb

Its a fair bet that these 'flash-backs' occur when you are tired, or worse really run-down. Im not sure what you would do but this is when the 'demons' come out for me.

hopelesslystained

Thanks judi and zeb, yup, my daughter is visiting and she was at a young age and sadly very influenced by a good jw 'scioclo (sp?) path: (my professionaly influenced judgment call')

I am in a supportive and happy situlation now, but this is just one of the times it all comes back to life.

Yes, I just may be just tired, it's just there have been so many years in between.

I ask, will this ever just go away! I thought when my 'oh so devout parents died, so would the religeous garbage'.

hmmmm, is that just too much to ask for?

transhuman68

Maybe there are still some 'loose ends' somewhere, that need to be tied up. It can be very confusing when there is a stressful event that involves a lot of people including yourself, as it is difficult to know other people's motives, and why they act the way they do, and who the bad guys are; maybe if you eventually work it out and enough of the pieces fall into place you will find peace- IDK.

It took me until the age of 44 to work out who my dad was- sometimes things are more puzzling than they seem! The 'Toxic Parents' book might have some answers; or maybe something on the Internet somewhere might add up for you... I really don't know & am just guessing.

cobaltcupcake

Oh gosh, I still wake up in the morning expecting my ex-husband to be on the other side of the bed. For about 2 seconds. We were married for 27 years, been apart for 9 years now. I'm very, very happy that he's not there, so it makes me wonder why I'm still in that mental rut. Maybe there hasn't been enough new input to push the old memories out of my subconcious.

And I have dreams where I'm still married to him and still doing the Dub stuff. Of course, I also dream about my father who has been dead for 12 years. He's being his abusive, nasty self, and sometimes I scream at him. It was a complicated relationship.

My advice is not to let it bother you. Your mind will work it out.

exwhyzee

The more one runs an event over in ones mind, the more firmly embedded it becomes in the circuitry of the brain. Make a point of dismissing these unwanted thoughts as soon as you notice you are having them. Shoo them away like one shoos' away flies at a picnic.....don't go there anymore. Replace these thoughts with ones you would rather think about....change the channel to something more upbuilding. Soon you'll be adept at recognizing them when they first occur and you will gain the ability to short circuit these episodes before they go far enough to spoil your day.

Mum

Once I told a co-worker that every time I go back home to visit, I have nightmares about my sperm donor. He was brutal.

She offered a wonderful and funny suggestion. She told me that when he appears in my dreams, dress him in a little pink tutu, pink ballet slippers, and have him dance around holding a little ruffled umbrella.

I haven't, for some reason, quite got to the point of placing him in that ridiculous costume, but the last couple of times I have dreamed about him, I have taken charge. In one dream, I got out my cell 'phone and called 911. In another, I found the car keys and got my daughter and granddaughter out of the house.

There is a tribe somewhere (Phillippines?) we learned about in Psychology class that makes an effort to bring back the bad things in their dreams and overcome them. I think it's a great idea!

I have had dreams that I was back with my JW ex as well, probably out of pity. But I haven't dreamed of him for a very, very long time.

Hang in there!

finally awake

exwhyzee has a good point. the more you dwell on something, the more ingrained into your mind it becomes. once you refuse to think about something, it begins to fade from your memory. eventually, you really can't remember even when you try.

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