Hey.
This is me.
Surprising myself
by actually putting a posting here.
I was pretty much born and raised a Jdub
All but stopped going about two years ago
and made it official last year.
To make a long story short
I left cuz
I fell in love with someone and
that relationship,
combined with some other life events and soul-searching
were a catalyst that started me seeing things
from another perspective.
Anyway, that's over
(mainly cuz I sabotaged it, too much to deal with at once),
but I've stayed out
cuz of new found love for life with Liberty!!!
I've never done anything braver (go me!)
than leaving all that.
Or maybe stupider? Still not entirely sure which.
It's scary at times,
but mostly its just
a big HUGE sigh of Relief!
The biggest surprise
to me so far
has been how alive I feel
Discovering that I don't need to wait for
some "future" time to live
I can live here and now!
I can, and will, and AM!
Finally! (wohoo!)
It's strange though,
to be 29
and have no
freaking clue
who the hell
I am.
As part of the borg,
it really didn't matter, of course,
who I was,
but I love an adventure
and I'm really looking forward to getting to know me!
(and some of you!)
I have loved reading all your postings and comments.
(yep, i've been a voyeur for a little while now!)
I relate so much to many of you and your expressions.
Thanks for making me laugh out loud again
I especially love the borg analogy (& all the smurf jokes! hehe)
I am touched when one of you ventures to share pieces of yourself and the others sort of rally to support in spite of your differences.
I think its great when people celebrate each others differences!!
I too am anti-borg!!
(more and more every day)
So, now that I've
survived the initial shock to my system
of discovering "I-too-can-think-for-myself" *smirk*
and that "free will" isn't just an intangible notion
to be admired from afar...
and now that i've mostly overcome
the fear factor
(ah, who am I kidding, I'm still scared sh**less...hehe)
BUT...adrenaline junkie that I am,
now I can finally live, really live,
and for the first time ever
enjoy every breathe of it and make it worth it!
Sorry but I found it tough to look forward to enjoying
"life on earth forever" when i ain't much enjoyed life on earth
to begin with....til now that is :)!!
And I haven't even done anything reeelly naughty yet!
(okay maybe one or two things hehe)
Don't get me wrong,
I may be an ex-dub,
but that doesn't mean I'm anti
or some kind of hater.
Nor does it mean
I will automatically replace
witness-borg with "worldy"-borg "bunk".
Just becuz the whole freaking world
wants to jump on the xmas/easter/halloween *whatever*
bandwagon, doesn't mean I will assimilate quietly.
No sir-ee.
Phew (exhale)
Do I feel purged!!
Oh, BTW, Hi! I'm New Here
and something of a SPAZ right now
but u can call me Nik! *smirk*
(new to the "dark side" hehe,
judge me gently!?)
Nik the SPAZ
S.