Shirley, today you will be with me in paradise
good one...
For those claiming to be Christ: you are not! I am
by AndDontCallMeShirley 52 Replies latest jw friends
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Twitch
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Newly Enlightened
Dear Lord, your Hinyness Shirley,
I am but a humble maker of earrings, I have nothing to offer you but SHRUBERY, 2 cute little furry TRIBBLES and a pair of FUZZY BUNNY SLIPPERS. Please accept these humble items to further your Kingdom. I would also have a package of Girl Scout cookies for you, but it has been a bad week and I needed the chocolate. Please forgive me for I have sinned.
Gladiator: Welcome Caesar! I have been told to pay Caesar's things to you. So I have a few small coins to contribute.
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AndDontCallMeShirley
Newly Enlightened: I would also have a package of Girl Scout cookies for you, but it has been a bad week and I needed the chocolate. Please forgive me for I have sinned.
ADCMS: The widow gave two coins of little value, all that she had. You cannot give me your cookies? Go, and learn what this means: I want cookies and not sacrifice. She who is not willing to leave cookies, and shrubberies, and earings and fluffy bunny slippers for my sake is not worthy of me. (you're going to get it all back in the Paradise anyway- don't be such a cheap-ass!).
Dear Lord, your Hinyness Shirley Please do not take the lord's/my name in vain.
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stillin
Do me just one miracle, will you please?
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Twitch
"I just want to tell you both good luck. We're all counting on you. "
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Newly Enlightened
You are always right Lord. I will not take your name in vain and I am a cheap ass. Since I am in your disfavor and I am selfish. I know you will soon have your Warwick, NY country estate but I have mortgaged my house and built you an entire temple of Girl Scout cookies. I also donated the rest in your HOLY ATM. I will also go prophesy in your name. I hope this all pleases you.
Lord, one question though. Please do not be angry, but in the latest June WT What were you thinking? Pirates? Is this 'New light"???? I have had a horrible accident by laughing so hard at that article that I fell off my chair, but do not worry it is but just a flesh wound.
The'Lions don't eat Christians anymore, Rottweilers do' & 'Smitten by a Redneck' was just too funny.
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Band on the Run
To the many Christ poseurs, Walk Across My Swimming Pool. Herod in drag JC, Superstar
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still thinking
Does this make three now? can we claim to have the trinity? We truly are blessed on JWN....TRULY!
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Heaven
Monty Python's "Life of Brian" - I'm Not The Messiah segment:
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free2beme
No, I am, so there! Now take your fake Christ and put it where the sun don't shine or I will tell Satan on you. He hangs out at the local 711 these days, selling his body for SLurpies!