How to spot a Sociopath

by larc 49 Replies latest jw friends

  • waiting
    waiting

    About "borderline personalities"......someone asked in class exactly what they were. The prof. said it's like a "dump diagnosis" - when a therapist just doesn't like someone but can't really determine why. He then explained "don't like." Like the person is somewhat mean, nasty spirited, ........

    We all laughed because we all knew someone like that.

    I think we've had a taste of a sociopath around here since this forum came about - perhaps a couple. Trouble is, they can be quite charming if they want. No one said they were dumb - can be quite intelligent and bequiling, ie: Ted Bundy.

    However, my dad could never be construed as being charming. Quiet and moody - and stay out of his way when he got moody.

    LOL - the memories of a happy childhood. Glad this thread came back up though - good thread.

    ((((((((plm)))))))) backatcha, babe!

    waiting

  • larc
    larc

    Grave Dancer,

    Perhaps it was not nice, but it was truthful. I do not care for jokes on this subject. This is an issue having to do with human misery and sometimes the lose of life.

  • patio34
    patio34

    Hi Larc,
    I don't usually post to these topics as it's uncomfortable for me to talk about in a public way. But what you said

    The reason being that we can not comprehend someone who is so devoid of fellow feeling. It is truely a tragic situation to be caught in the web that the sociopath creates, a web not much different than the web of a spider about to claim its next victim.

    really fits a situation i have with a family member. It's my daughter who's "imploding" and exploding on anyone and everyone. She seems completely self-involved and seems to operate on the premise that everyone exists to serve her purposes. It's her children that make the tragedy. But, anyway, things seem to be working out for now, and i don't want to talk about it anymore. Several words come to mind for her: pernicious, egregious, murderous... I've never known anyone like her and feel she really is a "bad seed" like that old movie.

  • BeautifulGarbage
    BeautifulGarbage

    My Father is a sociopath and an JW! Isn't that a kick?!

    The sociopath part I became aware of a few years ago.I would absolutely not recommend being raised by one. The emotional obstacles that my sister and I had to overcome were, at times, overwhelming. Unfortunately, my younger brother, is very ill mentally and I don't see him ever living a responsible adult life.

    So difficult to rise above the turmoil when those who are suppose to protect you, are the ones you need protecting from.

    Andee

  • Yadira Angelini
    Yadira Angelini

    larc,

    I agree 100% this a serious matter. (grave dancer)

    I know I'm naive, and I know I'm also an intelligent human been... my question to you I'll make it hopping I'm in my 'intelligent' part, not the naive one:

    By you posting this thread, aren't you warning us to be aware that sociopaths may be posting already on this forum? In other words, for us to be careful? or am I taking it the wrong way? Some how you gave me that impression.

    Sometimes I'm scare of this forum. I mean, sometimes I won't know what I'm going to be reading when I open a thread... I'm beginning to feel I'm not cut off for this kind of communication on the web... did I explain myself to you? I hope so...

    I feel embarrass for having asked you this question. I'm truly embarrass and forgive me if I have offended you or Simon or anyone here... I truly love you all, even if some of you scare the hell out of me. If I'd decided to stay away, I want you to know I'll miss you guys.

    Harmony and Love,

    Yadira

  • SixofNine
    SixofNine

    Yadira,

    There is nothing bad that can happen from simply reading the words of a sociopath.

    It's what you do with those words that can be trouble.

    For instance, if you use the words of this forum to form a relationship with someone; tread carefully.

    If you use words on this forum as any kind of guide; tread carefully.

    In other words, be skeptical. Sociopaths can write beautifully oftentimes, that doesn't mean you should get involved with them.

  • gravedancer
    gravedancer

    Larc,

    That big red button on your head is awfully big!! But I will refrain from pushing it.

    When I first posted that I was a sociopath it seemd from your first post that you were referring to posters on this board. I made a joke because as far as the board goes (I have no desire for emotional exchange on here for the very reason that there are people here who seek vulnerability and they try to exploit it) - hence in pixel land consider me a sociopath.

    As far as the board is concerned I wish to be "dehumanized" (a classic symptom of a sociopath - no?). Has it ever occurred to you that people get tired of the attacks? You being the super-shrink, surely you have studied the military phenomenom of dehumanization? That is often ingranined during 2 periods: training and combat.

    Dehumanizing oneself or those around you, especially on this medium, is a method of protection...

    But you probably knew all this anyway...so I won't waste your precious research time any further.

    This is not a propagated attack on you - if you choose to take it that way that's entirely up to you.

  • Lady Lee
    Lady Lee

    JMO

    I never took this thread as a warning of people on this board but rather as a warning in general. And it seems that the people who have posted in this thread have all mentioned or referred to people in their personal lives who seem to follow the diagnosis. Guess I am not alone then in my perception.

    I rather enjoy the psycho-social discussions like this and the reality that the JWs do seem to attract many people with mental health issues as well as create a few mental health issues and worsen the condition of those who suffer from them. Their discouragement of seeking professional help is a huge detriment to those who suffer and their victims. And if a professional is a JW the borg actually have the audacity to get them to recant the Code of Ethics and report client/patient confidences.

    Rejoice in the healing and not in the pain.
    Rejoice in the challenge overcome and not in the past hurts.
    Rejoice in the present - full of love and joy.
    Rejoice in the future for it is filled with new horizons yet to be explored. - Lee Marsh 2002

  • Satanus
    Satanus

    Andrew vachss, presently a lawyer representing abused children, has written extensively on sociopathy. Only a few sociopaths end up criminals. He believes they generally cannot be rehabilitated. He describes them like a deck of cards, missing a card that cannot be re-emplaced in adulthood. He believes the seeds are planted during childhood through abuse; emotional, physical, sexual, neglect. He also suggest what could be done.

    Here is an excerpt of his article writtne for parade magazine:

    Look deep into the background of the predatory serial criminal, and the odds are overwhelming that you will find a childhood of abuse. This is explanation, not justification. Not all abused children turn to such destructive paths, and those who do must answer for their acts. It's too late for too many. But if we can't "rehabilitate" monsters, it doesn't mean that we have to stand idly by at their creation.

    We have learned something over the years: Criminals are made, not born—there is no biogenetic code that produces a violent rapist, a child molester or a serial killer. We also have learned that there are environmental factors that predispose any individual to violent criminality—volatile factors that can tip the scales.

    The first environment is the family. And the family is the first line of defense against the production of dangerous criminals. Attributing the current climate of crime to the breakdown of the family may be partly correct, but there is no period in our recorded history during which the kind of evil, predatory crime that frightens us so today has not been present.

    There is a larger environment, a larger family: our society. Yet when it comes to fighting crime, we don't act as a society. Some organizations use anti-crime rhetoric as a a means to advance their own agendas ... temperance organizations or gun-control groups, for example. True, alcohol and the availability of firearms both contribute to violent crime, especially when combined. But fighting crime is not the sole reason for the existence of such groups. Similarly, those who advocate castration for sex offenders know nothing of the true motivation of such creatures.

    Prevention—true prevention—is what we need. If we act before the deadly flower reaches full bloom, we can forestall the terrible harvest. The hard truth is that most child abuse cannot be prevented. But what we do after we learn that a child has been abused will determine that child's future—and our own.

    Let's put first things first.

    We must reorder our priorities. Cliches won't save us. Knowledge, by itself, is not power. Knowing where we have to go is not the same as having the resources or the commitment to get there.

    First, understand that this is not simply another call for more money. We can significantly attack crime at its taproot without disturbing the specific gravity of the existing budget. If we invested the precious resources we now waste on the futile goal of "rehabilitating" calcified serial offenders, the savings would finance a whole new offense.

    The front line of that offensive is Child Protective Services (CPS). This is the agency that responds to the first outcry: A child confides in a teacher that she is the victim of incest; a police officer finds an infant abandoned in an airport bathroom; an emergency-room nurse examines a baby with broken bones and signs of brain damage. All call the same number: the Child Abuse Hotline. Those calls, and thousands like them, dispatch CPS caseworkers to the scene.

    http://www.vachss.com/av_dispatches/disp_9006_a.html
    http://www.vachss.com/av_dispatches.html

  • Lady Lee
    Lady Lee

    I would take this one step further.

    All victims of abuse need long-term counseling. They need to learn about the short-term and long term effects. They need to learn new coping behaviors other than what they have seen in their families. They need to learn that there is another way to live.

    I work in second stage housing for battered women and their children. The aim of the program is to end the cycle of abuse not only for the women but their children. Even if the child was never abused they witnessed the abuse. The child too gets therapy to help them deal with the effects of watching the abuse. They too need to learn that there are other ways to deal with your emotions rather than lashing out at others.

    Everyone in the program gets individual and group counseling. They all get workshops and programs on coping behaviors and how to deal with emotions.

    The reality is that it is too late to change what has happened to a particular family that enters the program. But we can teach them that abuse does not need to be a part of their lives and ways to stop the abuse.

    Hopefully we can help them learn new ways to live and stop the abuse so it does not continue down through the next generation.

    I think that Child Protective Services doesn't do enough. Removing the child from the home and putting them in foster care just makes them feel unloved and unwanted. More is needed and the government has to understand that that although the provision of counseling to all victims - for as long as they need it - is expensive, in the long run it is the only way to reduce the incidence of abuse in our society.

    Aspire to inspire before you expire

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