Double Life?? (page 2)

RedhorseWoman

Gozz,

Living a double life is tough....but I did it for quite awhile. There were multitudes of questions knocking around in my head, but I suppressed them because I knew that I was engaging in "independent thinking", which was anathema to me.

Eventually, I couldn't quiet the thoughts. There were no valid answers to them within the pages of the WT and I could no longer ignore the hypocrisy I saw within the organization.

I had to follow what I knew to be the truth, even though it led me away from the "truth" of the WTBTS.

ISP

I am not sure I would go as far as to say it is a double life you're leading so don't be too hard on yourself.

You have your doubts, more than the average JW, but most have doubts. It is possible to carry on. I drew the line when we had children and I was convinced I would not be putting them through the stuff.

It is difficult to do things your way when the WTS displays so little tolerance and you may find that you viewed differently by the congregation.

However your time will come...........................

ISP

thinker

Hi Gozz,
I appreciate your honesty. I also admire your search for the real truth about the WTBS.
So far, you're the only one that might be hurt by this "double life". If you get serious with a woman then you need to tell her about it before other people get hurt.
Can you remain a JW AND do things your way? IMHO, the society doesn't put much emphasis on "independence" and doing things your own way.

SixofNine

A couple of things come to mind, Gozz.

First, a question, how can you invite others to be a part in something you disagree with?

The other is more of a comment. About marrying a nice JW gal, please reconsider. It would not be at all fair to her. Besides, while there may be some nice JW girls, the vast majority are existing, much like we all did, with no small amount of cognitive dissonance in their life.

In other words, most JW's are not, and cannot be, truly at peace in their lives. Too many important things just don't make sense. Doesn't mean they'll change, even when the truth comes knockin'.

Speakin' of knockin', someone else brought out about children...

I guess I don't mind saying that in the long run, an active JW who did not believe, is no more the kinda person I want to be freinds with than any other person living a truly double life.

Please be aware that I am not here speaking about taking your time about leaving, and making every effort not to be forced into a divorce from family and friends whom you love.

Oh yeah, about that "JW humility" thing, humbling yourself to the next guy up the line(organizationaly speaking), is not the same thing as humbling yourself before the Creator of the universe. In fact, I have come to believe that the two are mutually exclusive most of the time.

Deacon

Im deeply impressed six...

sincerely.

neyank

Hi Gozz,
I'm curious. You said that you attend all the meetings,give talks...ect.
Do you also go out in service?
Do you go from door to door telling people that the only way to God is to belong to the WTS? Become a JW?
I ask because as you know, going out in service and preaching WT truths is a part of being a JW.
What do you say when you're asked about something that you know is not true but the WTS says it is?
Will you give the WT response or your own?
I ask because that's something I could not do.
I couldn't tell people that the WTS is Gods chosen orginisation when I knew for a fact that they weren't.
I don't know how some can continue to teach that knowing that there is plenty of info.proving that the WTS is not who they claim to be.
neyank

TR

Gozz,

Don't hold any human in awe. Sifts through the Watchtower and believe what I think's true. Know a bit of JW history per prophecies and dates. 1874, 1914, 1918, 1925, 1975, 1999/2000, plus all the stuff most elders in my cong don't.

By default you hold the WTS humans in awe. "Where would you be without them" type of conditioning. You are beholden to the WTS humans, even if you don't admit it.

It's the brutal truth, sorry.

TR

Gozz

Thanks all.
Critter, you missed the joke per apostates. meet them all in service, so what talking with them on line. Plus, who's an apostate? The JW def's too narrow. If it's true then I'm one but I'm not.

Neyank, I do go out in service but not all the time like that. Do more of informal witnessing. Anything contrary to what I perceive to be truth I don't teach. Why do I go out in service? For me it's a community service kind of thing. There are people needing help. The bible's basic message can improve their lives. Help could also be offered in other ways. Time remains an important factor. Many of the brothers in my hall I believe are oblivious of these issues, they do not even have a good grasp on the org's history. Should one allow himself to be demonized by these honest men and women? There should be a better way to do things.

Six, I was going somewhere with that Humility thread. All those 'words of wisdom' were straight from WT publications. I was wondering if they could apply the words to themselves first.

And TR, you're dead wrong! I have the morbid fear of being demonized by friends and family. Some of them will just plain trip off! Like they did to my friend who got disfellowshipped. I don't see the friend often, but when I do, we hug and hug. Why should I let me be the scapegoat? There must be a way. And I don't think the Christendom churches are any better, only the WT isn't exactly what it claims to be.

TR

Gozz,

And TR, you're dead wrong! I have the morbid fear of being demonized by friends and family. Some of them will just plain trip off! Like they did to my friend who got disfellowshipped. I don't see the friend often, but when I do, we hug and hug. Why should I let me be the scapegoat? There must be a way. And I don't think the Christendom churches are any better, only the WT isn't exactly what it claims to be.

Are you willing to lie to yourself and those around you, then? You are willing to sacrifice your life to a religion you don't believe in? Is that what you're saying? My opinion is that a big part of you believes in the WTS in case they are right.

They're humble folks, serving God the best they can.

You really think so? Many of them are probably in your situation. They don't want to be there, because they have an inkling that the WTS is bogus, yet they're afraid to leave "God" for fear of being shunned by friends and family and dying permanently. What kind of existence is that?

Don't get me wrong, Gozz, I do feel for you. I felt the same way for 2 or 3 years. But, like Dr. Laura says; "go do the RIGHT thing"

Now, having said that, I think larc has a point, or maybe a different way of dealing with the situation. But as long as you participate and function as an active JW, it's just a lie. That is if you don't believe in the WTS.

TR

Edited by - TR on 2 February 2001 3:35:16

nelly136

so when it boils down to it Gozz youre not actually staying
in because youre happy to, youre staying in because you have friends and family in there and youre afraid to lose them?

>>I have the morbid fear of being demonized by friends and family. >>Some of them will just plain trip off! Like they did to my friend >>who got disfellowshipped.

if it was just you and you didnt have friends and family o lose would you still be one?
just wondering
nelly

Double Life??

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