by Eustace 17 Replies latest watchtower beliefs
In another thread a comment by mamochan13 related this experience:
Of course, after I was df'd my perspective changed. One meeting a couple of months into it they announced that a young girl, about 17, had been df'd. I saw her mother's face and the profound sadness, and it made me cry thinking of the pain that family was going through.
Does anyone know if they actually just let it rip in the midweek meeting that someone was disfellowshipped without even warning the family in advance?
the DF'ed one is likely to tell their immediate family prior to the announcement and in my case my entire family was waiting for me after I had been found "guilty" at my house.
Thanks.
the DF'ed one is likely to tell their immediate family prior to the announcement
Good point.
and in my case my entire family was waiting for me after I had been found "guilty" at my house.
The elders must've told them in that case.
no they didn't the JC was held in the KH and my house was a 5 minute drive away, they were all expecting me to fly through the JC with nothing less then a "mark" little wre they to know. When the DF'ed one is left in limbo between the JC and the next meeting and they were DF'ed the shame of the whole thing doesn't make too much gossip, it a very traumatising period for everyone
Even when the too be df'd person doesn't ask for an appeal, the elders are supposed to let 7 days go before making an announcement, and that person is not supposed to say anything.
There are also some jws that manage to get confidiential info, loosed lipped elders tell their family or their best friends, or other elders even those in other congregations.
It is another cruelty in a way that you have the onus to let family know since if they are not in your congregation they may not be aware of the anouncement.
I told my family in another city since I felt that it was better they heard from me directly foolishly thinking I would be able to explain. I was wrong to expect some love and understanding from my older sister who did not want to know and treated me as scum as soon as she heard I was probably going to be Df'd. She would rather believe her concept of a corrupt faith than listen to any facts which was sad. She has barely spoken to me since and treats me as if I am invisible.
This is a religion with no compassion and no quality.
IIRC and it's going back some time I was never told or ordered to treat the decision as strictly confidential especially as my wife and mother were waiting at home for me, and there was at least a dozen witnesses called to the JC, the chances of the whole procedure remaining confidential would probably have been difficult. My situation could have been slightly different to an open and closed "fornication" JC as I was supposedly poisoning the locality!
Not always. My son was engaged to a JW who was DF'd. He told me ahead of the announcement in their hall. Her mother and I attended a different congregation at the same KH. They announced it in both congregations and did not inform her mother. I thought she knew. She was blindsided by the announcement, held it together for the rest of the meeting and sobbed uncontrollably after the prayer. I was the only one to comfort her. The then P.O, now CoBOE thanked me for comforting her. I just gave him a cold, unblinking stare and walked away.
This was not the first or the last time I took issue with the way a matter was handled by this BOE. On two other occaisions they changed their position and both changed their course of action and apologized to me. Somehow I managed to stay out of trouble. LOL!
rubadubdub-yes,it would have been a small kindness on the elders' part to inform the mother before the meeting of the announcement,how cold of them to handle it that way.
As I recall, it was not usuall......it was left to the victim to tell their family. We did on one occasion visit the family of a teenage boy, because they were well liked and we wondered if the boy would tell them promptly
