HeHe!! Very amusing site....

by butalbee 5 Replies latest social humour

  • butalbee
    butalbee

    http://communities.msn.com/JehovahsChristianWitnesses/memberlist.msnw

    You have to apply for membership and they accepted mine!!

    Here's a excerpt from the site...

    A wee bit of humor

    Subject: Are they in your Hall too?

    Every congregation has them:

    THE STORYTELLER: That publisher you just can't get away from.

    THE GREETER: The publisher who makes it their goal to say "Hi, how ya
    doin'?" to every person in the Hall.

    THE LOVER: That sister who hugs and kisses everyone.

    THE Lil' RACER: That young boy who's always sitting in a chair for
    running.

    THE EVACUATORS: Those publishers who race to the door after the
    meetings.

    PAVAROTTI: That singing publisher behind you who convinces you that
    you're mute.

    THE "6TH MAN": The publisher who's always giving impromptu talks.

    THE ESCAPEE: The publisher who runs away when being given a talk
    assignment slip.

    THE SEASON TICKET HOLDERS: Those families who always sit in the exact
    same seats.

    RIP VAN WINKLE: That older brother who wakes up for the closing song
    and prayer.

    THE WHIPLASH KIDS: Those sleeping kids whose heads spring up and down
    with violent jerks.

    THE RAMBLER: You can count on him going overtime on his talk.

    THE ADJUSTER: The speaker who always has to adjust his own mic for
    himself.

    THE HIGHLIGHTERS: Those sisters who use 5 different colored markers
    underline their Watchtowers.

    THE UNDERLINERS: Those publishers who underline every word of every
    paragraph of their Watchtowers.

    THE FRESHEN-UPS: Those sisters who spend most of their time in the
    Ladies Room.

    THE WEAK KIDNEY KIDS: Those kids who camp out in the bathroom.

    THE ASSIGNER: The Elder who's always busy assigning jobs to
    ministerial servants before and after meetings.

    THE MEMO MAN: The Elder who always has papers to hand out.

    THE PHANTOM: The missing brother who always seems to have a "duty".

    THE SATURDAY MORNING PREACHER: The brother conducting the meeting for
    field service who talks for an hour.

    MISS DAISY: That unsatisfied sister that you drive around in service
    that always has a personal request.

    THE MEDITATORS: The publishers who prefer to listen to the meetings
    and meditate with their eyes closed.

    THE AMISH: Publishers who don't use mics...they just speak right out.

    THE SCREAMERS: Those kids who want to be heard.

    THE OBLIVIOUS ONES: Those sisters who no one hears because she holds
    the mic on her lap while she's talking.

    THE KNUCKLEBALLER: That publisher who throws curve balls to the
    conductor by his wacko comments.

    THE ABC'ers: Those publishers who without fail answer the B and C
    questions too.

    THE MAGICIAN: The conductor who wants you to read his mind for the
    answer.

    School Conductors

    THE TERMINATOR: He gives all "W"s, especially to his wife.

    THE CLOCK MAN: He has every publisher in the hall working on "36C"
    (timing).

    THE UTOPIAN DREAMER: He gives only "G"s because "they deserved it".

    THE ENCORE GIVER: He gives an encore presentation of the information
    after every talk.

    THE FORGETTER: The one who always has to go back to his seat to get
    the student's slip.
    But seriously, we all have those in our congregations who we can see some faults in,
    and likely they in us, but as Danny's post illustrated we all have our good points
    too, and those are what Jehovah sees in us and we do well to imitate Him in doing
    that. Never be critical of our brothers and sisters, we are all precious in God's sight (exept an occasional joke, of course).

  • Will Power
    Will Power

    What's a W?

    THE TERMINATOR: He gives all "W"s, especially to his wife.

  • butalbee
    butalbee

    I have no clue...

  • WildTurkey
    WildTurkey

    W = work
    I = improved
    G = Good

  • 2SYN
    2SYN

    Here comes another one of my epic but-a-comment-underneath-every-single-frekking-line posts:

    Every congregation has them:

    THE STORYTELLER: That publisher you just can't get away from.
    Nope, none of those in my old KH.

    THE GREETER: The publisher who makes it their goal to say "Hi, how ya
    doin'?" to every person in the Hall.

    Nope. We had a FRIGID hall.

    THE LOVER: That sister who hugs and kisses everyone.
    See above. Although there was a sister or two I was had been like this...sigh...***

    THE Lil' RACER: That young boy who's always sitting in a chair for
    running.

    And always got the living sh*t smacked outta him straight after running into the CO's bookbag and spilling all the confidential Elders documents!

    THE EVACUATORS: Those publishers who race to the door after the
    meetings.

    That would be me!

    PAVAROTTI: That singing publisher behind you who convinces you that
    you're mute.

    We actually had one of these (but a diva, not a Pavarotti) at our hall, my mom always ensured we sat FAR away from her, she was DEAFENING!

    THE "6TH MAN": The publisher who's always giving impromptu talks.
    Nope.

    THE ESCAPEE: The publisher who runs away when being given a talk
    assignment slip.

    That would be me. Although I gave about 4 talks total, so there wasn't much to run away from...

    THE SEASON TICKET HOLDERS: Those families who always sit in the exact
    same seats.

    HEHE, I still remember how they would glare at you if you sat in their seats.

    RIP VAN WINKLE: That older brother who wakes up for the closing song
    and prayer.

    Yip. White hair, you name it.

    THE WHIPLASH KIDS: Those sleeping kids whose heads spring up and down
    with violent jerks.

    AHAHA!

    THE RAMBLER: You can count on him going overtime on his talk.
    OH GOD, we had FAR too many of those at the Circuit Assemblies, damnit. You could see all the faithful champing at the bit to leave on a Sunday afternoon, and this guy was just going on and on and on...ARGH...

    THE ADJUSTER: The speaker who always has to adjust his own mic for
    himself.

    And would then give a condescending look to the invariably very young, inexperienced publisher who had just rushed up to the podium to do it for him.

    THE HIGHLIGHTERS: Those sisters who use 5 different colored markers
    underline their Watchtowers.

    What a waste of ink!

    THE UNDERLINERS: Those publishers who underline every word of every
    paragraph of their Watchtowers.

    Oh, that's me. I would underline the whole paragraph, it was much quicker. None of that pesky 'actually reading the damn thing' stuff!

    THE FRESHEN-UPS: Those sisters who spend most of their time in the
    Ladies Room.

    This would result in a glare from an Elder in a rear row if you tried it at my KH!

    THE WEAK KIDNEY KIDS: Those kids who camp out in the bathroom.
    See above. If you were a teenage boy, you got a quite hectic glare!

    THE ASSIGNER: The Elder who's always busy assigning jobs to
    ministerial servants before and after meetings.

    Every KH has these...

    THE MEMO MAN: The Elder who always has papers to hand out.
    And these.

    THE PHANTOM: The missing brother who always seems to have a "duty".
    What would that "duty" be? Did he have the privilege of making sure the curtains were closed or something? :)

    THE SATURDAY MORNING PREACHER: The brother conducting the meeting for
    field service who talks for an hour.

    Another person I'd like to introduce to my Colt .45!

    MISS DAISY: That unsatisfied sister that you drive around in service
    that always has a personal request.

    I was too young to drive when I was a Dub, so this doesn't apply to me, but I'm sure there were a few Ms. Daisy's around.

    THE MEDITATORS: The publishers who prefer to listen to the meetings
    and meditate with their eyes closed.

    That would be me! I was a very spiritual person...

    THE AMISH: Publishers who don't use mics...they just speak right out.
    *ROFL* This was actually considered very rude in my KH. Sometimes a brother doing the mikes wouldn't know where the hell the person he was supposed to give the mic to was, so the person would get pissed off and just comment straight out. It was about the most exciting thing that happened during the entire WT study usually.

    THE SCREAMERS: Those kids who want to be heard.
    They know what's coming to them, is all.

    THE OBLIVIOUS ONES: Those sisters who no one hears because she holds
    the mic on her lap while she's talking.

    This was impossible at my KH, because we put the mics on poles.

    THE KNUCKLEBALLER: That publisher who throws curve balls to the
    conductor by his wacko comments.

    AHAHA! Had a few of those...

    THE ABC'ers: Those publishers who without fail answer the B and C
    questions too.

    The bastards! And I really thought they were idiots if I was going to try and answer a B or C question!

    THE MAGICIAN: The conductor who wants you to read his mind for the
    answer.

    I liked it better when they ran out of time and only read the paragraphs, but didn't ask questions.

    THE TERMINATOR: He gives all "W"s, especially to his wife.
    HEHE! Luckily we didn't have any of those.

    THE CLOCK MAN: He has every publisher in the hall working on "36C"
    (timing).

    But we did have a coupla these. Losers.

    THE UTOPIAN DREAMER: He gives only "G"s because "they deserved it".
    And too few of these.

    THE ENCORE GIVER: He gives an encore presentation of the information
    after every talk.

    Didn't happen much, but was quite annoying.

    THE FORGETTER: The one who always has to go back to his seat to get
    the student's slip.

    HEHE! All our Elders were like that!


    [SYN], UADA - Unseen Apostate Directorate of Africa - For Great Justice!

  • Pathofthorns
    Pathofthorns

    That was priceless.

    Path

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