Who is it really disciplining????
Curiously, if disfellowshipped JWs are honest and state those reasons as their motivation for wanting to return, they'll never be allowed to.
I.e., as a final indignity, disfellowshipped JWs must lie to the elders bout their reason for wanting to return, if they are to have any hope of actually doing so.
Personally, I don't think those who try to return would have to lie. I don't think they realize their motives are messed up. I believe they associate "returning to the congregation" with "returning to Jehovah" it's one and the same to them. Unfortunately it's not the same!!
I've attempted to return 3 times, and each time was for the above stated reasons, even though I didn't realize it, now I do. Even if I did make such a return successfully, I can't unlearn what I have discovered in my own Bible study and research from this site and others. I would be nothing but miserable. i would have to put on an act around friends and family and be untrue to myself. No way I'm ever going to live like that. Kudos to those who can!
I have decided the most effective way to defeat the DFing policy is by simply living a happy, successful, clean, moral life. By enjoying my children and their lives, and demonstrating that the WTS has NO CONTROL or INFLUENCE over me anymore. This drives them crazy and intrigues them. JW's are convinced that you cannot be happy outside of the organization. Happiness and success and having no "hard feelings" toward the WTS and the congregation, etc is the most powerful attack.
Absolutely agree! And I think making a point to let our families know we are living a happy, successful, clean, moral life is important. Every opportunity I get I want to let them know that "everything is going great," "the kids are doing amazing," "things have never been better." I mention things like, "the kids are so excited," "I'm so impressed with how well they're doing in school," "Remarkably the kids are getting along really well," etc. Also, emphasizing how well we are doing as a couple, bragging on each others positive qualities, how strong our relationship is and making it a point to mention all the things we do together as a family.
Even as I type this, I can honestly say all these things about us are truer now than ever. Being free of the guilt and pressures to perform have given us a contentment that we never had before. And that is what I wish everyone could experience. To me, that is the real "peace of God."