where were you when the world ended?

by animal 19 Replies latest jw experiences

  • animal
    animal

    well, I would be surprised..... but if so, thats a start.

  • crownboy
    crownboy

    Profound story, animal.

    Glad you were able to turn your life around and all that good stuff happened for you. I suppose smoking cigars isn't as bad as a lot of other stuff, but I hate the smell it leaves, personally .

    Ditto on LDH's comment. Your story is one of the better ones I've read, if you wrote a book, I'd read it.

    The Watchtower always gives experiences about people who's lives vastly improved because of going into "the truth", but I'm sure there are probably more persons like yourself, and so many on this board, who's lives have been affected for the worse due to their Watchtower affiliation.

    Go therefore and baptize the people in the name of the father and of the son... what the hell, we just need to bring up the yearbook numbers!

  • deddaisy
    deddaisy

    ANIMAL: try not to be too hard on dear old mom, if she's lived her life in and out of the "truth," she most likely is a bit screwed up by now...

    and RAGS: I got a queazy feeling in my stomach when I read your reply, I know exactly what you mean......my young cousin (raised in the truth) was just df'ed. she is in a state of depression now because all of a sudden she realized that she lived her life in a complete fairy tale, believing that everyone she knew was going to live forever.....WAKE UP CALL!!!!!!!! now she doesn't even want to get close to anyone cuz she thinks "what's the point, they're just going to die!" Alot of us were completely unprepared for reality....You know it's very difficult at times NOT to be bitter.... sometimes I have to remember not to waste another precious moment of life....don't be afraid, you had to be a strong person to ESCAPE the Jehovies!!!!!ha ha

  • Imbue
    Imbue

    Hi Animal, Yes write some more. I would love to read more about your story.

    And I have to agree with deddaisy try not to be so hard on your mother. Try and think of something that your mother gave you that was good.

    Crazy is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

  • Rags
    Rags

    dedaisy..yeah..and you know the sad part is that the JW's made sure that Death was your ultimate fear..with the end of the world...armagheddon...if your not good your damned basically soart of thing...i guess i took it real hard when i was like 5 or 6 years old listening to all this stuff...suddenly i was totally insecure..this world was an evil place and there went all the security that a little girl is supposed to have...out the window it flew...

    i was left with just sitting there and having to wait until this world would end with a terrible armagheddon...every thunderstorm i literally pooed my pants sometimes cause i thought it was the end.

    They focus so much on Death and THE End that its all they ever talk about...ironically they say nobody will die in the new world..but yet they focus all on death.
    So here i am 36 years old..i had my second little girl 4 months ago...
    last week i sat with my husband to my side..my baby in my arms..our 7 yr old daughter was already in bed...
    i was looking at my baby..her face ..her hands..and all i wanted to do was make sure that she grows up feeling secure and loved and let her know that life has so many wonders to discover...and then all of a sudden while thinking this...Bang Boom...i start balling my eyes out...my husband asked what was wrong and i couldnt even tell him....i just said that the baby was so beautiful it made me cry...but in reality..the thought that suddenly entered my mind was ...My God..My baby is going to die one day..this beautiful human being that i hold has no escape from death..we are all going to die and there is nothing i can do about it...
    A pretty screwed up thing to start thinking when your holding your baby..but i did....the fear has so much been dwelled in me that i still have to fight that feeling and its hard sometime.
    Thanks for letting me let this all out. I never ever talk about this to my friends or anyone...i dont feel like dwelling and going on about the same crap so i shut up..but i am glad to have found this place where i can just let go and talk and have others understand what i am talking about..soart of..
    okay..thats all i haveto say..peace to all
    and .....happy Easter!!!!!!!!
    Rags

  • animalssister
    animalssister

    Hi, I am new to the whole computer thing, but being informed of this website, I felt I should let my story be told as well.
    Let me first begin by saying that I am "animal's" younger sister and that I can verify everything he said and then some. True, there is so much to say about this topic, that it would take volumes of books to cover our personal story, but here is the short version.
    Our family was perfect until about age 12, when it became what is known as disfunctional. Mom threw her boyfried out (she told us they were married), so we lost yet another father figure until she married "M.H.". It seemed that almost overnight, there were no more "worldly friends", no Holidays, no life. M.H. made us get up at 5 am to study the watchtower, then go to school- it didn't end when we got home. I had to do wifely duties because my mom was always sick in bed, until it was time to "worship". A usual night at the K.H. consisted of many hours of study (he made us volunteer when others didn't show up for talks), then hours later I would be doing homework all hours of the night just to get it done. He used to smell my breath when I got home to make sure that I wasn't smoking (I never did, and still don't). The worst I did was get caught hiking up my skirt. Punishment methods were nothing short of severe beatings with a belt on bare skin. Other methods included drinking glasses of half water and half vinegar to completion. I will not eat vinegar to this day. One time, my brother was backhanded until unconcience because he didn't like pea soup. He ran away the next day. I never blamed him, I wish now he would have taken me with him. To make matters worse, my mom would sit by and watch this happen repeatedly, and denies any involvement in this abuse. Of course he didn't beat her, so what could she have done- go against him and possibly get a beating? I think it is sick to stand by and proclaim to love your children and see this abuse take place. I ran away at age 18 and got married, this seemed to be my only way out. I went to the elders about this and they didn't believe me because "elders do not behave that way". It took years for the elders to believe this, it wasn't until an incident where M.H. ran off with thier bible study- a woman one year older than me!!!
    Years later, I found out that my mom was sick with and would die from cancer(during her years with M.H.), and he was training me to pick up where she would've left off- he made me kiss him on the lips every night before bed- I HATED THAT. Now it has been even many more years, my mom magically cured, somehow( we don't believe she was ever really deathly sick). I have forgiven her, but I will never forget my past and there is not a day that goes by that I am not affected by the terrible things I was put through. I will be 45 years old soon, and sometimes I still feel like that 12 year old girl. I can't seem to get her out of my head. Witnessing the growth that my brother experienced from psychotherapy, I believe in it now and think it may be the best thing than dealing with it on my own.
    My brother thinks that every time he ran away that he was alone, but part of me was right there with him running, it was just that I would have never survived the homecoming beating like he always did. And the story goes on..............................

  • animal
    animal

    sheesh.. I forgot about being knocked out..... but not running away. I look back and never regretted a thing I did.

  • teejay
    teejay

    So... how's the book coming?

  • RAYZORBLADE
    RAYZORBLADE

    Thanks for sharing (even if over a year ago).

    Boy, does that ever help one gain some perspective on our fellow posters.

    I really appreciated your story, and read it with great intensity.

    There were other stories posted, but I'll go back and read them.

    Thanks Animal, that was superbly cool to share that with us.

    Respectfully yours,
    Rayzorblade

  • willyloman
    willyloman

    Required reading for all JWs who make it to this site.

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