Jehovah's Witnesses and Divorce

by Eustace 28 Replies latest jw friends

  • Finkelstein

    I think its worthy to point out that because JWS carefully monitor their members, particular teens

    and young adults for " Sexual improprieties " a lot jws get married quite young. Back in the 70's when

    I was a teen, many people got married before the age of 20.

    That may have been pushed a little higher now, but its just the known causality of people getting married

    or being pushed into marriage before they are mentally prepared to do so and since your pushed to marrying

    other people within the faith, sometimes incompatibility issues arise.

    I was one of these unfortunate people who did just that, having been married at 19 and the marriage only lasted two years.

  • jam

    A couple moved in to help where the need is great(vacation pioneer).

    They were separated for years. They decided to reconcile,

    a beautiful couple. We became close the month they served.

    After a week or so he confided to me they had been separated

    for years and maybe serving where the need is great may help

    their marriage. The problem, he was gay. A few years later I found

    out he was DF. Very sad story.

  • Reality79


  • Finkelstein

    The problem, he was gay. A few years later I found

    out he was DF. Very sad story.

    That brings up another point of interest, in that I personally knew of 3 guys who were JWS, who got married while being JWS

    only to come out the closet as they say and leave their wifes, divorce and of course get DFed.

  • mamochan13

    REality79 - I can empathize with your story. JWs give really screwed up advice. When I was emotionally devastated at the break up of my marriage (in which me getting DF'd played a significant role), my relatives all kept telling me how happy I should be, because he was not a JW. After all, now I'd have a chance to meet a "nice" brother and remarry.

  • Reality79


    They're just so naive and clueless, aren't they? Everything is simply black and white to them. It would be amusing if it wasn't so serious at times.

  • Kool Jo
    Kool Jo

    Great topic

    As was mentioned before, some of the dubs are literally forced into marriages because they have to marry someone in the "truth". So even though they aren't ready for the responsibilities, they just go ahead with it.

    I've seen people so desparate to get married, it amazes me. They're so full of it when they brag about how their marriages that last long ect...I met a couple (clients at work) who've been togther for 47 years and haven't stepped foot into a church

    Before i knew TTATT, I did visit other KHall of folks who I knew...anytime I sat beside a sister I knew...I could see the faces looking over where I'm sitting "that brother Kool Jo must be interested in sister X"...."sister x-y-z found a nice brother"...blah blah blah

    So many relationships are pre-mature because of this cult, hence the divorce rate!

    Kool Jo

  • gma-tired2

    My close XJW friend and I started thinking on all the JWs couples we grew up with in the 60s. We counted about 30 couples we knew who was married. Of these couples 4 couples are still together one divorced and remarried and my friend and I are long time faders still with our husbands and one who is still with her Elder husband all others from this time period divorced some more than one divorce.

  • ndmom73

    Growing up my life was hell because of the JW view on divorce. My parents were unhappy and should never have stood together as long as they did. My father was physically abusive and even though my mom went to the elders for help she was always asked to question what was SHE doing wrong. In time she turned to alcohol to deal with her issues and she took her anger out on myself and my siblings. It is a pretty painful and disfunctional way to grow up especially when you have to sit through meetings pretending that you are this perfect family. The day my parents divorced was one of the happiest days of my life, right up with them being DA/DF'd.

    The JW environment is a breeding ground for abusive men. I am not saying that all male members are abusive but those that have abusive tendencies already are in the perfect environment to abuse with little or no recourse for their actions. Growing up I had a friend whose mother was a JW but her father wanted no part of the "truth." He was an alcoholic and was physically abusive towards his wife, to extremes that I couldn't even bare even though my life was fairly similar. Her mom would often come to my mom for help so I knew much more of this situation than I would have liked to. From what I remember, he would actually go to the elders for help in controlling his wife if he felt she wasn't submisive enough. Thinking about this makes me realize how effective the brainwashing tactics are. The shame you are given for not being a good wife, the secrets that you have to keep, the fear that you will be shunned. I know that not all cases are this extreme, but I am also confident that these aren't the only ones.

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