Rant: Weakness and enfeebling

by perfect1 12 Replies latest jw friends

  • perfect1

    Something in still thinkings post triggered my own rant. After observing the situation as an adult for quite awhile, it is my belief that the societys teachings make people weak. The WTS does not strenthen, it enfeebles in nearly every way possible.

    Here are a few traits which bother me most:

    1) Lack of resourcefulness. No idea how to go about getting anything done. Expecting someone else to do it for you. Helplessness. inefficiency.

    2) Resignation to Defeat. Giving up easily when faced with any challenge. Taking mechanical or any other failures as a sign of the wicked system. Eeeyore attitude

    3) Adoration of Authority. Always deferring to others, confessing sins of self and others. Never questioning those with power. Ones own judgement is inadequate.

    4) Indirect ailments. Rather than being direct, inventing excuses and even creating real physical illnesses to avoid things.

    5) Avoidance. Avoiding all things, situations, people, and opinions which cause discomfort, and pretending they dont exist, or shouldnt, or wont in the NewSys. Inability to face problems or reality. Putting things off.

    6) Lack of discernment. Having always seen the world as us and them, no sense of who is a shady character, no common sense of limits, dismissive, no ability to think about ethical problems. Naive view of the world.

    The thing is, these are all characteristics the JW cult member adopts which make he or she WEAK. To make it worse, the person ACTIVELY participates in making his or herself into this weak person who cant get anything done, is easily beaten, rats on family members, fakes illnesses, avoids conflict, and cant make an informed judgment, mentally keeping even the middle aged at an emotional age of about 16!

    What do you think- are there other traits which make a person weak which I have forgotten.

  • jgnat

    To understand deferred hope, ambition I found a lot explained in the book "The Time Paradox".

    The happiest and most people live in the present (hedonist), embrace warm memories from the past, and make plans for a hopeful future.

    JW's defer happiness for an indefinite future. When they will learn a musical instrument, their bad teeth will be fixed without the aid of dental bills, and they will miraculously become kind, disciplined and helpful.

  • hoser

    The time paradox is a great read.

    And the jw's as a whole seem to blame this old system for their self inflicted problems.

    Car broke down blame the system. Can get a job with your home school education blame the old system

  • LisaRose

    As a woman, I felt the organization made women weak. Women were taught to obey and honor headship, so there was no need to question anything, or come up with any ideas of their own, it encouraged passivity. In this organization the only way for a woman to obtain status was by being a pioneer or an elderette. And pioneers really didn't have any role in the organization, it was a minor kind of status. Elderettes could only have status through their husband, that is why many wives would get their husband to tell them confidential information, having such information gave them a feeling of powwe. Having no responsibilities, they gossiped and be meddled because that is all they could do.

    The teachings of the Watchtower also encouraged women to stay in abusive marriages. After a few incidents of women being muordered by their physically abusive husbands, they stopped telling women to stay with a physically abusive mate, but the headship policy was clear, women should stay in a marriage unless they could obtain a scriptural divorce, and they should obey their husbands. Being forced to stay in an abusive relationship causes a person to feel powerless and weak, as their happiness and feelings were not important enough to take into consideration.

    As a woman with a disfellowshipped husband, I was considered as nothing in the congregation, and my husband treated me like a doormat, which I was. I accepted this, as I believed in these teachings. It was only when I became physically ill with stress and depression that I started questioning these things . In my job I worked hard and was treated the same as any man, same pay, same respect. So why could a woman never demand respect from her mate, or have any responsibilities in a congregation? Yes, the bible said a woman could not teach, but was that really good? I looked around at the meeting and saw some very intelligent, strong and capable women, yet they were considered less important than the pimply faced, 18 year old microphone holder.

  • jgnat

    No wonder the elders look at me as if I am an alien. I'm a strong woman. I have opinions. I looked at a lady like she was from another planet when she suggested I be "supportive" of my husband. What? By becoming a JW? In my world, supportive is not the same as doormat.

    I can just imagine Blondie when she took on an elder. She has a mild demeanor and speaks quietly. But boy, her words have punch.

  • wha happened?
    wha happened?

    2) Resignation to Defeat. Giving up easily when faced with any challenge. Taking mechanical or any other failures as a sign of the wicked system. Eeeyore attitude

    This has been my biggest pet peeve. I can't stand the defeatist attitufe of dubs. "It's a broken system, so do nothing to help your fellow man." All of those defeatist comments are trumped by a simple illustration that Jesus gave regarding a Samaritan.

  • perfect1

    Hi sorry to post and run. A few (bad) things happened and I had to take care of it. but here I am.

    JGNAT: Thanks for the recommendationof the book, I Zimbardo but am not up to speed on his latest work. I will have to check that out, looks really interesting.

    HOSER: Homeschooling infuriates me. The ones I knew growing up were utterly crippled by their lack of social interaction.

    LISA ROSE: Thanks for being able to say what I am trying to get at. Even outside the JWs, being in an abusive relationship is one of the worst things a person can go though, I cannot imagine adding spiritual pain or elder advice to that already horrible situation. Your post reminded me of a clear memory I have: My elder Dad explained to me during the WT study that a woman could never correct a man, no matter what age they were or who wrong he was. If a man made a mistake, it would be up to another man to correct it. It was one of those moments when you are a child that you know right and wrong better than the adults you trust, and a little light goes off and you ask yourself- wait- who are these people!

    JGNAT: Funny to think of you becoming a Witness to be supportive. On the other hand, it might be fun to retort with something, I am a Witness, in my heart, thats all I need.

    wha Happened: YES EXACTLY. I happen to believe in karma, you gotta give a little.

  • Retrovirus

    Not sure if it's indirectly covered, but the "shoot the messenger" mentaility. This means by focussing on and abusing any source of uncomforatable information they never have to confront it.

    So, the many terms for such books/sites/people: Apostate, weak in faith, bad influence, controlled by Satan etc


  • 00DAD

    perfect1: Great thread!

    Yes, agreed completely. The WT has a systematic program of inducing Learned Helplessness and a Victim Mentality among its followers.

    It's deliberate, it's calculated and it's generally very effective!

    It is a thing that abusive manipulators do to maintain control in a codependent relationship.

    It is also extremely morally reprehensible.

    I think it's very important for those of us that have escaped the clutches of those control freaks that we learn as much about this as possible to assist those on the way out and to give them the necessary tools for recovery.


  • perfect1

    Hey 00D,

    I read both entire Wikipedia entries you linked to there- fascinating stuff. Learned helplessness. Makes you think.

    It pretty much ties 1) and 2) on my list together.

    reading those I realized I might have a ways to go in term of freeing my self from this mentaility, even though I have been technically free for so many years now. The problem with being a born in- formative years- things form. Hard to re-form.

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