What happened when the Polak locked his keys in the car?
It took him two hours to get his family out with a coat hanger!
Did you hear in the news that a Cessna recently crashed in a cemetery in Poland?
The Polish officials have so far retrieved 2000 bodies!
Why wasn't Christ born in Poland?
Because they couldn't find three wisemen and a virgin!
How did the Germans conquer Poland so fast?
They marched in backwards and the Polish thought they were leaving!
How do you stop a Polish army on horseback?
Turn off the carousel!
Did you hear about the Polish Admiral who wanted to be burried at sea when he died?
Five sailors died digging his grave!
Heard about the Polish hockey team?
They all drowned in spring training!
Hear what the Poles did with all their gold medals?
Went home and got them bronzed!
Did you hear about the gay Polak?
He slept with women!
How do you know you're flying over Poland?
Toilet paper hanging on the clotheslines!
Did you hear about the new automatic Polish parachutes?
They open on impact!
Did you hear about the Polak who thought his wife was trying to kill him?
On her dressing table he found a bottle of "Polish Remover"!
What's the motto of the Polish Solidarity Union?
Every man for himself!
What's delaying the Polish space program?
Development of a working match!
Why do Polish dogs have flat noses?
From chasing parked cars!
What happens when a Polak doesn't pay his garbage bill?
They stop delivering!
Why did the Polish couple decide to have only 4 children?
They'd read in the newspaper that one out of every five babies born in the world today is Chinese!
Why did the Polak sell his water skis?
He couldn't find a lake with a hill in it!
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You go to a cockfight. How do you know if a Polak is there?
He's the one with a duck.
How do you know if an Italian is there?
He bet on the duck!
How do you know if the Mafia is there?
The duck wins!
